Anxiety and Depression Support

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Starting TMS Therapy

2 months ago•95 Replies

Hello All, I haven't been on here much lately because i've been dealing with a setback that started during the holidays that spiraled into fatigue and some depression/anxiety. It seems like I go along doing well and being able to cope and enjoy my life for 3 or 4 months and then have a setback and wind up in the muck for a while and my coping skills sailing out the window. I know from having had tests done that my body doesn't produce enough serotonin and feel good chemicals and that I have low cholesterol and testosterone all of which means I don't have a lot of physical good mood reserves. I have had success with finding a psych med that helps me (pristiq) but not sure how effective it is anymore. I also know there is a family history of depression/anxiety on my fathers side. I decided to try TMS therapy and am going today for my third treatment. My dad's sister was institutionalized and treated with electro shock therapy numerous times, I can't imagine what that was like and the TMS sure seems to be a lot less invasive than that. It is definitely a weird kind of experience, sitting in a unit wearing a helmet and feeling like you are having a woodpecker peck on your head on and off for 20 - 30 minutes. It's noisy and you wear earplugs, it doesn't really hurt it's just kind of uncomfortable but i think the longer I do it even that will go away. I will be going for 20 - 30 minute treatments five days a week for 6 weeks or so. I'm looking forward to the treatment and will keep you guys updated about my progress. I'm also seeing more people on here that have been doing TMS which is great so there will be more awareness of it and how effective it can be. Some people have headaches and teeth aches afterward but so far i haven't had either. My main issue has been more anxiety with some depression and apparently it is now able to treat both effectively. I also have some essential tremor in my right hand and apparently it is now being used to treat it too, so I'll see how that goes. Hell, maybe it will help grow hair on top of my bald head - LOL!

After I signed up for the TMS, I had a realization that I had changed my testosterone treatment the first of December and that a number of the symptoms I was having (fatigue, low mood, brain fog, anxiety, etc...) were similar to how i felt before starting testosterone therapy so I went back to the clinic I was using and resumed the same treatment and am feeling a little better now. I'm finding how important it is for me to do what I can to optimize my physical health in order to do the same with my mental health to build up my reserves and maintain a balance.

To be continued...

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95 Replies

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AnxiousSilver2 months ago

"Starting TMS Therapy"

I want you to know that I read all of that, and I wish you nothing but the best with this, and hope that it works out for you.

designguy in reply to AnxiousSilver2 months ago

Thank you very much for your support.

AnxiousSilver2 months ago

" I decided to try TMS therapy and am going today for my third treatment. "

Quick side note question. (just curious)

Did they tell you how many of these you need, or is it more like, you just keep doing it till you (hopefully) get better?

LilyAnnepuppy in reply to AnxiousSilver2 months ago

My treatment lasted for 36 treatments. 5 days a week for as many weeks as that took. About a month after I completed treatment, my daughter died. But I believe the TMS enabled me to cope with the normal grief which should accompany such a tragedy. I haven’t had to repeat the process yet. But would do it again.

AnxiousSilver in reply to LilyAnnepuppy2 months ago

I'm sorry about your daughter.

designguy in reply to LilyAnnepuppy2 months ago

Sorry about your daughter, but glad the TMS worked and helped you through it. That was a very unfortunate test to see how effective it was for you.

LilyAnnepuppy in reply to designguy2 months ago

Thank you. Hope the treatment works for you. Keep us posted.

Ishfaq-bashir in reply to LilyAnnepuppy2 months ago

Can you help Me with my health anxiety panic attacks

LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Ishfaq-bashir2 months ago

I use a psychiatrist, therapist, medications, a support system, prayer and meditation. All of that works for me.

bethelbee in reply to AnxiousSilver2 months ago

Treatment is typically 5x/wk for 6-7 weeks.

Bobfacebetty2 months ago

good luck with the TMS , I look forward to seeing your updates, 👍

designguy in reply to Bobfacebetty2 months ago

Thanks and I will make updates as I progress.

ZOO72 months ago

wishing you the best. Keep us posted on Tms. 🙏

designguy in reply to ZOO72 months ago

Thanks and will do.

LilyAnnepuppy2 months ago

TMS worked for me. Good luck with your treatment.

designguy in reply to LilyAnnepuppy2 months ago

That is great to know, thanks and glad it worked for you.

Sparsley322 months ago

I had never heard of TMS Therapy until reading about it in your posting. I've done a little bit of research and it looks like it is still very new at this moment in time. I'm normally one to be very open to different therapies but I would say be very careful with this with it being so new. I think right now a lot of us are going through the highs and lows of depression. I think the winter weather has a major effect on me each year. I hope it works out for you!

designguy in reply to Sparsley322 months ago

Thanks, apparently it's been around for a number of years and was approved by the FDA in 2008 with lots of trials and studies done on it.

bethelbee in reply to Sparsley322 months ago

As he stated it is not that new. I have had much success with TMS and know others who have as well. There is nothing 'to be careful with ' here. ECT has been around for a really long time and though it's nothing like it was many years ago, there is the risk of memory loss.

NeuroSeeker in reply to Sparsley322 months ago

My shrink thinks it's not ready for prime time. Success rates are about 50/50. I think it was at Cleveland Clinic where they are working on more targeted magnetic pulses and are seeing success rates of up to 90%.

So I'm going to try ketamine. Have to pay out of pocket, but it's three or four sessions, not dozens. That's a plus.

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker2 months ago

It's a little early to know about my success rate since i'm only on week two but before i started the TMS my total for the PHQ -9 depression questionnaire was 16 and Monday it was 4 and on the GAD-7 questionnaire before it was 16 and Monday it was 3 so i'm definitely improving and making progress. Your shrink may think it's too early but it's becoming more widely available and validated and if it works for me that is great. Like anything else to do with mental health, I don't think there is any one magic bullet, and it takes a holistic balanced approach to getting results. I have not had any side affects or issues driving afterward.

i tried ketamine and it did not work for me. I did four infusions and stopped because they weren't doing a thing for me just amping up my anxiety and they were very expensive, very physically demanding and you cannot drive afterward. For me the only benefit i could see is having a spiritual experience but I sure didn't need ketamine to do that. All this being said though, my primary issue has been social anxiety which it supposedly can treat and not major depression like i think it was originally intended. I also think they may have been giving me too high of a dose. We all react differently so it may work for you. I almost did the TMS before I did the ketamine but it wasn't quite available near me yet and I know now it would have been the better choice for me.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to NeuroSeeker2 months ago

I pay out of pocket for my TMS treatment. There are multiple applications of TMS now. I have had success with Theta Burst TMS. I've been going for 1 yr. Ended my 1st 36 sessions series last April. Since then we've been adjusting my treatment protocol to fit my specific needs to keep my TRD in COMPLETE REMISSION. I had 3 weeks of 11 sessions in September and 2 days of 10 sessions, 5each day, in early Jan. This Tues is my next appointment as I've zoned in on a once a month protocol that will stabilize me long term.

Since I'm paying out of pocket for my treatment, my adjustments happen in real time and no insurance dictates when and how I receive this life saving therapy. I'm grateful for this chance to get my life back after many decades of suffering in silence. Without it, I wouldn't be alive anymore. I'll be 50 next year and I've been suffering from depression and anxiety since my teens. NOTHING has helped me over the years in comparison to the full relief I get from TMS. And I am not on ANY other meds at all. This is nothing short of miraculous in every sense of the word. It's the only noninvasive treatment out there. There's nothing better for me.

I included a link to the clinic I go to that explains the difference in TMS treatment options for anyone that wants to read more about what's evolved in TMS recently.

tmsbrainhealth.com/which-ty...

NeuroSeeker in reply to LifeIsThePitts2 months ago

I'll look into your link. Thank you around here, they say TMS costs between $10 and $13 thousand for a typical series, and they say it's a 50/50 shot. Daily treatments for so long with basically a coin flip to determine success brings up so much weariness inside my body.

I'm glad it's working for you. I also have been depressed all my life - I remember these feelings from before kindergarten. Much worse as a teen, of course, and I hid it from everyone.

But I can't hide it anymore. All my coping mechanisms have faltered, and I don't know who is worthy of trust. So many have simply failed to take me seriously, I guess because I'm not planning on jumping off a bridge.

It has to be dramatic before "helpers" help.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to NeuroSeeker2 months ago

Yes. You just keep plodding along in Life until it grinds you into dust and every coping mechanism fails eventually when you're not actually treating the symptoms of the mental illness we've been forced to cope with without viable therapy options. I've invested $8700 out of pocket since February 14 last year. This Tuesday is my next appointment and ironically my 1 yr Anniversary of starting TMS.

I owe my life to the nurses and Drs at my clinic. There's no other way I'd still be here. I had a plan and was going to go thru with it to end my misery. No other way to put it.

NeuroSeeker in reply to LifeIsThePitts1 month ago

Insurance denied TMS and the TMS Dr was out of contact with me after one text. He at least seems to be looking for the easy money, and insurance cares zip.

I will die like this. Not by suicide, but because I'm being eroded by every medical encounter I have. I am dwindling to an empty shell.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

O wow. That seems like an all too common response. If insurance denies and you can't pay, too bad. It's so unfair because this is a machine plugged into the wall that's about the size of a small motel room fridge that applies noninvasive magnetic pulses to the surface of your head. It shouldn't be withheld from those that could benefit from therapy that takes less than 4minutes per session.

I understand your disappointment and repeated failures with meds and support. It's draining and doesn't help our condition. Just keep reaching out for support from those here that know how hard it can be. Hang on. TMS will become more widely available in the near future. Advances are being made quicker with TMS research & awareness right now. It's a hot topic. Do some research on your own about it. Sometimes it helps to understand the science behind our illnesses. Helps to put them in perspective and make them clinical instead of emotional. It was a way for me to separate myself from the personal aspect and make my dissociative tendencies a benefit and also gave me permission to stop blaming myself for my illnesses because I can't cure depression any more than I can cure cancer without outside medical support. And that's the truth. You're lacking the medical support you deserve. That's not debatable or your fault. But truly KNOWING it's not your fault that you feel like you do is another thing all together. You are not your diagnoses...it just feels like it sometimes.

NeuroSeeker in reply to LifeIsThePitts1 month ago

Thank you. I have done hundreds of hours of research on my conditions, medications (because doctors don't read your files and prescribe things that, in combo, can be deadly), treatments, etc. I'm pretty sure I'm just on the "let's wait for her to croak" list.

This is America, where insurance is god.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

😉I'm a total research junkie too. I'm so sorry you're unable to receive treatment. Are there any other TMS options in your area that may have alternative payments plans or discounts?

Yep..even when you have insurance there's no guarantee you'll receive the treatment you deserve. I had to pay for everything out of pocket to get any progress in my mental health healing. And that's a shame.

bethelbee in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

So sorry to hear insurance won't pay for TMS for you! I was fortunate that mine did. I have Medicare. I had 3 rounds of rTMS in the past couple years. The results of the first two rounds each lasted about 6 months and the results of the 3rd are still holding at just over a year. It angers me your insurance won't cover it! If you were to go to the hospital they would be paying more. I've been hospitalized several times and over the years(decades) became treatment resistant to meds. If it weren't for TMS I may not be sitting here today. Can you call your insurance company and tell them you're not doing well? I did that for my 2nd round and they immediately approved. Take care.

NeuroSeeker in reply to bethelbee1 month ago

I've tried all that. They know I'm not doing well, so in response they suggest an 8 week program with THEIR staff. Screw that. They know too much about me already.

bethelbee in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time and difficulty getting the help you need. I can only imagine how frustrated you must be!

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker2 months ago

Wow, holy crap, I had no idea it was that expensive, I thought ketamine infusions were expensive at $500 each. I don't blame you for wanting better odds for that much money. I hope ketamine is much more affordable for you if you decide to do it. Not sure if I mentioned it before or not, but one of the things I found really important for me was making sure my hormones (testosterone), thyroid and adrenals were functioning properly because they can really impact and affect our mood if not.

NeuroSeeker in reply to designguy1 month ago

I just got diagnosed with hypothyroidism and am on therapy for that. Any woman will have messed up hormones. I'm postmenopausal, which means hormones are naturally erratic for me. I think my naturopath did an adrenals test, but I haven't spoken to her since the tests. Copper serum was low, off the top of my head.

Darkhouse2 months ago

I think we overlook physical causes for our depression like hormone imbalances or thyroid issues that can all be treated as well. Glad to know you're feeling better. I'm fascinated about this TMS therapy as I was actually considering ECT. Very cool........

designguy in reply to Darkhouse2 months ago

Yes, I totally agree about the physical aspect being really important and it's pretty easy anymore to get tested and see how it may be contributing to our issues. I personally believe that a wholistic approach to mind body and spirit is best.

bethelbee in reply to Darkhouse2 months ago

Do consider TMS. It's noninvasive. I had great success with it. You can read my reply on here.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to bethelbee1 month ago

Hi, bethelbee. Happy Valentine's day. I had a maintenance TMS session today. TMS was the best decision of my life. It's the only thing that's given me back to me. I'm so thrilled to know you're still in remission too. I'm glad we're able to support and give reassurance to those that are currently going through their TMS series. I've been on HU for less than 11 months. Designguy & 2 other people are going through it right now & are the first I've met since I joined HU that are posting about their experience from the start. It gives me so much hope for others in the future. Today is my 1 yr anniversary of starting at my TMS clinic. So I'm having a thankful & grateful day.

bethelbee in reply to LifeIsThePitts1 month ago

Hi LITP! So happy to hear you are doing well ❗ I like telling others about my experience and offer support to others. I've been on here for about 2 years. Haven't initiated a post in quite a while but frequently respond to others. I just read Neuroseeker's comment and was disheartened to hear her insurance denied TMS and that the doctor never got back to her after one text😡. That really angers me! Insurance could end up paying more if she ends up in the hospital.Happy Valentine's Day to you too ❣️❣️

LifeIsThePitts in reply to bethelbee1 month ago

I know. It's infuriating that suffering people are left in peril...and the clinic KNOWS it because you don't contact a depression clinic if you're feeling well. It seems like blatant neglect to me. She's struggling with no medical network to help. That's the shameful part in this country.

I love this site and participate a lot every week. It's a great group therapy forum. The people I've met are beautiful souls.

bethelbee in reply to LifeIsThePitts1 month ago

Definitely neglect! Wish the clinic could be reported! And you're right, so shameful. Nobody should be without the treatment they so desperately need.This is a great site.

designguy in reply to LifeIsThePitts1 month ago

Yes, it's a shame she was turned down for it. When I first met with the doctor at the clinic I am going to, he implied that they could work with me if I didn't qualify at first but I did so I never had to see what he meant by that but they must have a different agenda than Cheri's. I suggested to her that she see if there are other TMS clinics in her area and explain to them what happened and see if they could help her out, hopefully she will try that.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to designguy1 month ago

Yep! My clinic too. They are an amazing team of compassionate caregivers that genuinely care for their patients and our well-being. Judith, our main practicioner, came in on SUPERBOWL SUNDAY to administer a Ketamine infusion for a woman who was in peril and would have missed her custody court date if it wasn't for the emergency infusion. So yeah, my clinic goes above and beyond to completely customize the treatment for each individual patient. Payment plans and care credit are payment options most offices can suggest. I paid per week on my credit cards. My rate started at $150 per session. I'm a cash patient and now pay $100 per month for 1 maintenance session to stabilize me and stay in remission long term. I'm so excited to see how long it lasts.🤞

Katxz2 months ago

I hope it’s all going well with you!! TMS worked wonders on me before, if ur insurance company allows, id suggest do a couple extra sessions after the complete of required ones(by then u should notice a difference

I had mine in NY and the few times I had headaches I’d tell the practitioner and he’ll decide whether it’s worth to lower intensity for a while. Another tip in case u need it is that the person operating tms machine is crucial for the outcome I was told that few of TMS producers give out certificates after basic trainings. So I’d highly suggest communicating with them at each session and the clinic for another practitioner if it’s not working. Good luck wish u all the best!!

designguy in reply to Katxz1 month ago

Hey Katxz, don't know if I responded to you or not but just in case I didn't thanks for the support and encouragement, it's going very well.

bethelbee2 months ago

Hey design guy! I believe I responded to you in a past post. I sincerely hope your experience with TMS is as successful as mine as been! I had 3 rounds in the past couple years. The results of the first two each lasted about 6 months and my last one so just over a year and counting. It literally saved my life at one point. Also this past year has been a very frustrating one with health and medical issues and if not for TMS I would probably be in a deep hole right now. Wishing you the best and please keep us posted!

designguy in reply to bethelbee2 months ago

Hello Bethelbee, good to hear from you and glad to hear that it worked so well for you, that is helpful. Glad you are doing good and I will update as I go along, thanks much.

Frankie242 months ago

wishing you the best

designguy in reply to Frankie242 months ago

Thanks, you too.

scansnap2 months ago

I have a long history of depression and I have considered TMS. Unfortunately, there is only one provider in the small city where I live. The treatment is covered by Medicare and supplemental insurance, so the cost me will be nothing, but it is a significant investment in time.

Please let us know how the treatment goes and how long he continues to work. I would really like to know this information before deciding to do it. Thanks and good luck.

designguy in reply to scansnap2 months ago

I know it's a commitment but it's only for a half-hour each day and i'm retired so it's not a big deal for me. I will keep updating my progress and results, thanks.

NeuroSeeker in reply to designguy2 months ago

It's hard if you can't drive, though.

bethelbee in reply to scansnap2 months ago

Don't know if you read my comments but TMS has worked great for me. Became treatment resistant to meds a few years ago and my therapist recommended TMS. Have had 3 rounds in the past couple years. The results of the first two lasted about 6 months each and the 3rd one continues to work from just over a year. It is a time commitment but well worth it if it works. I had been on various meds since 1987 and they stopped working. TMS was literally a lifesaver for me at one point.

designguy in reply to bethelbee2 months ago

That is great, so glad it worked for you. I understand it's fairly common for meds to quit working after longterm use I have wondered the same thing about the med I have been on which was part of my reasoning for trying the TMS. Glad you are doing well.

bethelbee in reply to designguy2 months ago

Thx!! Prozac worked for me for 10 years (I started it shortly after it came out late 80's), then was on Celexa for 10 years, then various other meds up til a few years ago. The last couple I tried either didn't work or gave me bad side effects. After the last one I decided no more and luckily my therapist recommended TMS. I do take an occasional Ativan for anxiety.

designguy in reply to bethelbee2 months ago

Yes, I still keep some klonopin around incase I need it.

Justfloat2 months ago

Hey! I haven’t been on this site for maybe a year or 2, but when I saw TMS in your post, I decided to read it. I feel you are incredibly brave to share your story and struggles. I feel like I could have written part of your post. I have been having such a hard time since late December. I also seem to have 2 months of being kind of okay, and then the darkness comes and I, too, forget all my coping mechanisms.

I started TMS a couple of weeks ago. The first experience was uncomfortable but manageable. The 2nd day was a nightmare. The pain in the right side of my head/face made my body jump in the chair. The tech said she had the helmet on wrong (the psychiatrist wasn’t there for that session). I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I was like- nope- I’m in mental anguish and I don’t want to add physical pain to the mix.

A psychiatrist from the clinic called and asked if I would be willing to try again. I thought about it for a couple of weeks, and decided to give it another go (that was yesterday). They turned down the frequency to about 95, but the psychiatrist said we need to get to 120 to treat the depression. We’re just gonna go at a slower pace I guess. I hate it SO much, but I don’t wanna be in the dark anymore, so I’ll try to stick with it

I also had done 6 sessions of Spravato and was doing pretty well with that, but apparently not well enough because my insurance stopped covering the treatments. They needed to see a 50% reduction in depressive symptoms and I was at 34%. I was devastated. The CEO of the clinic offered to treat me with ketamine infusions for free since my insurance didn’t cover that either. The psychiatrist said she thinks the infusions along with TMS will be very beneficial. I am so grateful to her, and I pray she’s right!

I had no idea I was gonna write this much, but it feels good to get everything out. Anyways, I SO hope your TMS treatments help you. And thank you again for your post!

Elizabeth830 in reply to Justfloat2 months ago

I don't know if it was just me but with my TMS, if I went into a day's treatment feeling upset about something, I would cry as soon as the machine started tapping. I often wondered if it just triggered me to be more emotional when it was tapping. I was fine when I left. It was almost like I couldn't control being upset. Sometimes on Monday's they had to lower the frequency, but then I was able to increase everyday for the rest of the week.

designguy in reply to Elizabeth8302 months ago

That's interesting, good to know, thanks. I just got up to full strength today. and it went fine.

bethelbee in reply to Elizabeth8302 months ago

When I first started my first round I was really agitated. Had to quit for a week then went back .

designguy in reply to bethelbee2 months ago

I could see how it could be provoking if you were already agitated, glad you went back.

designguy in reply to Justfloat2 months ago

Wow, I can imagine how painful that second session must have been for you with the helmet on wrong, what an awful thing to have happen. Glad you have decided to give it another chance, that's pretty courageous. Today was my 4th session and I just got up to the highest setting so they are taking it slow and i'm glad they did.

I did four ketamine infusions over a year ago and didn't like it but my primary issue is anxiety with some depression and maybe that is why it wasn't for me. I also think the dose they used might have been too high, it increased my anxiety and was like a bad acid trip but we all react differently so it's worth a shot. it was also very physically demanding and my wife had to drive me there and pick me up and it was expensive but i've read that it is helping people. I had considered TMS at the time but it wasn't quite available here yet. I hope the TMS works for you too.

NeuroSeeker in reply to Justfloat2 months ago

TMS and ketamine! Somebody was thinking outside the little box most drs hide in. Yay for you!

Blue_812 months ago

Wishing you the best. Hopefully everything works out. I have a few weeks of coping well then like you said i get setbacks and its hard to get back on your feet. Good Luck!

designguy in reply to Blue_812 months ago

I know how that goes. The opportunity came up to try the TMS so I decided to see if it helps break the cycle and thanks for the support.

lovetodance20182 months ago

Just wanted to let you know you will be in my prayers. I have never tried TMS Therapy but pray it will be successful for you. I can relate to relapses and changes in my chemicals. What is working for me is slowing down, not beating myself up, finding time to relax and debrief and taking time to spend with God. I am still on medication, but the more I give myself a break, not be so hard on myself, not have unrealistic expectations, I start becoming more relaxed. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Hugs and God Bless

designguy in reply to lovetodance20182 months ago

Thank you for your kind words and support, I totally agree with your approach and the importance of being kind to ourselves and cultivating our inner, spiritual self.

Duke18302 months ago

All my best and good luck to you

designguy in reply to Duke18302 months ago

Thanks much for your support and I hope you are doing ok yourself.

Ishfaq-bashir2 months ago

May you plz help me with my health anxiety and resultant panic attacks

Dee-Dee002 months ago

worked at Stanford where I did auth for TMS. I saw the benefits TMS did for our MDD patients. ❤️💕

designguy in reply to Dee-Dee002 months ago

Awesome, thanks.

NeuroSeeker in reply to Dee-Dee002 months ago

What was your success rate? I'm genuinely interested, because the info I find is conflicting.

NeuroSeeker2 months ago

Aetna denied TMS because they don't think I've taken enough COMBINATIONS of drugs to qualify, even though they told my husband the exact opposite. The TMS place (TMS NW) dropped me like a hot potato. I was cold-handed to an admin assistant (all via text) and I told her to not bother. Less professional than the hospital, and that's saying something. I'm glad your place seems to be better. I think it's often people wanting to make a fast buck instead of treating humans.

Good luck! I hope it works for you!

Peace,

Cheri

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker2 months ago

That sucks., I would have thought they would have tried to work with you and help. My clinic implied that they would if I had problems qualifying. I had tried 6 different meds and it must have been enough for me to qualify. My TMS is being covered mostly by Medicare although I have a copay amount for each session, I actually assumed I might run into some issues with qualifying with Medicare but I didn't and it all went pretty quickly. I get now your interest in wanting to try ketamine. As I stated it didn't help me but it may help you, the unfortunate thing is you never know until you try. I did the ketamine a few years ago and even in that short amount of time it may have evolved. I understand there are ways of micro-dosing it. Ketamine is actually a hallucinogenic and I should have been clued into it because I know that smoking weed always made me paranoid and not relaxed like some people so it was no wonder it was angst provoking for me. I'm not sure in hindsight how knowledgable the people were who I did the ketamine with and like I said in my other response I now think they were giving me too high of a dose. I think there are also now other ways to take ketamine without the infusions that may not be as physically demanding as it is at least it was for me. I hope if you try it it works for you. You might also try another TMS clinic to see if you qualify if there is one near you.

I sounds like you are pretty up on things and looking at options but just incase you are still looking for a better med for you and haven't found anything yet, you might try doing a psychopharmacological test that uses your dna to determine which meds are best suited for you genetically. My test showed at the time that none of the ones I had tried before were right for me and I started on one it recommended which was a different type of med and it worked well for a number of years. My test was from Genesight.

The other important thing i have found is making sure my thyroid, hormones and adrenals are all functioning properly because they can really affect out mood.

If you end up trying ketamine I sure hope it works for you.

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker2 months ago

I talked to my TMS provider and she said that the number of meds required varies by insurer and there is no standard number. Apparently some only require 2 of 2 different types and some require up to 6. She said that they will try to work with someone and find a a work around, like someone maybe being allergic to a med, etc... but it just varies. I hope you are able to do the ketamine and that it works well for you.

bethelbee in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

Hi Cheri! Don't know where you live but Google SUCCESS TMS and see if there's one near you. They are very professional and very helpful and will help advocate for you for treatment.

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

Are there other TMS providers in your area you could explain what happened to and see if they could help you out?

NeuroSeeker in reply to designguy1 month ago

It's a good idea. Maybe when I'm stronger. I have gastroparesis and can't eat (drink) more than 1 - 2 times a day, so I'm getting less and less resilient every day. I don't know if I can handle trying again. They'll just deny me again. Hence trying for out-of-pocket ketamine therapy. My shrink has a Dr friend who does it at cost for her, due to him simply being a nice old doctor dude (still $350 a pop, but nowhere near as many treatments that TME requires).

I'd that doesn't work, I'll just let the gastroparesis do its job, I guess. I am too tired to fight anymore. I am too sad and heartbroken. I know better than to trust.

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

Sorry to hear what you are dealing with, I know it's hard to function when you feel like crap and to be optimistic and forge ahead. I dealt with hiatal hernia and digestive issues for a number of years, what helped was working with a functional medicine practitioner who diagnosed me with sibo and major gluten sensitivity. Had to do the diet from hell - no wheat/gluten, dairy, sugar or alcohol for months but it helped. I also did some bone broth fasts that helped.

I assume you've looked in to Spravato treatment which is another form of ketamine treatment? I don't know a lot about it other than I think it's a spray and not invasive at all, or what the cost is for it but I think it is covered by most insurance but don't know what is involved to qualify.

I hope you do get to feeling better soon.

NeuroSeeker in reply to designguy1 month ago

Thanks (to everyone, really!).

The nasal form of ketamine is a major hassel in my state. You get drug tested each time, and they watch you with each squirt. It feels like you did something wrong.

I'm so tired of being made to feel like I'm bad. I've done nothing but try to help people my whole life.

I always just assumed that people helped each other, as a general human trait. I was really wrong, so with all the changes in my health the fact that people DON'T, as a rule, bring their best selves to the medical world, has shifted my entire perspective on everything. Obviously there exceptions - I have some good doctors.

But insurance rules make it impossible for some to help. My sleep doctor, for example, is also a board certified obesity nutritionist doctor, but she cannot practice both. I think it's an insurance strangle. I am losing 1/2 of my mental healthcare appts because of insurance (they go after psychiatrists and simply retroactively refuse to pay).

I really thought my 50s would be different. Every decade was better than the one before until I hit 50. In just 3 years I am a different, diminished person. I study every day to try and fix myself, but I'm not a doctor.

I guess a lot of my doctors aren't, either. It would be better to have ONE doctor who could get to know me and my conditions. As it is, they dont even read charts anymore. Not sure what good electronic records are good for...

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

Also, if you live in the area I think you do (northwest US) it looks like there are 2 or 3 other TMS clinics in your area and it looks like there are 5 or 6 in the city across the river from you, something to consider when you feel better.

NeuroSeeker in reply to designguy1 month ago

I think I'm ditching TMS. I hope for the ketamine. Then if it doesn't work I'll go electric shock.

TMS is just so tainted anymore for me. Can't trust.

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

Wow, what a hassle for the ketamine spray and drug testing - so ridiculous, I didn't know that.

I have actually read some good things recently about ECT, it has come a long way from when my aunt had it done in the late 60's and is nothing like it was back then and apparently has very good results and not the side affects like it had back then.

Hope you are able to do the ketamine and it is successful for you!

NeuroSeeker in reply to designguy1 month ago

Thanks - my shrink thinks it'll likely happen especially because insurance is out of the loop..

I've also read good thing about modern electric shock therapy. It's biggest drawbacks to me are it's done in the hospital since they knock you out for it, and you go multiple times. And, there is the issue of memory loss, which I have struggled with since the unsupported Mirapex withdrawal (I cannot recommend doing that!). I'm afraid of additional memory loss. It's frustrating to not remember things that are important.

But, I'd rather have a sieve for a mind than continue with the depression.

Thanks to everyone, by the way, for tolerating my vitriol. Loneliness and sickness are really bad bedfellows, and blasting out fears and realities has helped soothe the millipedes in my torso. So thanks, you lovely people.

Maybe true empathy can come only from those who actually understand how devastating full-blown depression really is.

💚

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

You're welcome, I have read that the memory loss from ECT is more situational, of memory during the time of doing it, being in the hospital, hospital staff, etc... I would definitely take that over feeling better. I hope whether you do the ketamine or the ECT that it is helpful for you and you're welcome to vent anytime.

NeuroSeeker in reply to designguy1 month ago

You are a bright light in my week. Thank you for encouraging that. Seems like we come to t he boards when it's just too much ... and find people who are so much better, more honest, more trustable than a lot of doctors.!

designguy in reply to NeuroSeeker1 month ago

What a nice compliment, thank you. I learned a number of years ago to trust doctors only for certain things. I use to get chronic sinus infections, had surgery for a deviated septum and promptly got another sinus infection recovering from the surgery. I found out I was actually dealing with candida fungal overgrowth and sibo from taking too many antibiotics prescribed by doctors. It took a number of years, diets and major supplements to heal it as well as life style changes and heal my sugar addiction. Western medicine didn't even consider it a legitimate health issue at the time and most doctors are only required to take one class in food/nutrition, etc... and don't recognize how big of a part it is in our health. They also only focus on their special area and don't consider the whole picture and whole person. That's why I also go to naturopaths and functional medicine people if possible.

Hope you are able to have a better week.

LifeIsThePitts2 months ago

Hey designguy... how's it coming along?

designguy in reply to LifeIsThePitts2 months ago

The TMS is doing well, i'm starting my third weeks treatment tomorrow and looking forward to it. I've been filling out the PHQ -9 and GAD-7 questionaries every week and have already reduced the numbers on each by over half. I find I am much calmer, I have minimal anxiety and my ruminating has greatly decreased and my sense of joy and engagement with life has increased. I'm making plans and doing things which is great. I have more energy and am able to be present much more in my life. It's also easier to redirect my thoughts and not get stuck dwelling on the past or the negative things going on.

I also haven't had any headaches or any side affects other than my teeth kind of mildly aching when doing the treatment but it goes away almost immediately. I'm amazed at how quickly the treatment goes by too. After my fitting and first treatment I thought I can do this but I wonder if I will actually look forward to doing it like some people had said who did it but I get it now and do look forward to it, really glad I am doing it and that it's going well. I have some essential tremor issues and read where it can treat it also so am hoping they can do that after the main treatment.

Hope you are doing well too.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to designguy2 months ago

I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU!! Isn't it incredible how suddenly you feel like your old self again? That person that has been trapped in the dark hole of TRD for so long you wonder if that piece of you still exists. TMS gave me back to myself and allowed me to actually work on becoming the best version of myself possible. I'm acquainting myself with adult me for the first time ONLY cuz of this miracle therapy.

Your post has so many people wanting to know more about the TMS experience. I'm so thrilled to see such interest and excitement from the other community members.

It makes me 😹 tear up to know that offering our stories can motivate other sufferers to seek treatment. That makes my horrible TRD riddled life not so meaningless. If ONE other person reads my story and gets the help they deserve because of it, my suffering has NOT been in vain. Let's keep encouraging everyone and in turn we'll heal ourselves by helping others.

My maintenance session is Tues and I'm looking forward to it Very much. I love the tapping on my brain 🧠 🧲😁

designguy in reply to LifeIsThePitts2 months ago

Thank you so much, what a really nice message, I really appreciate it and totally get the "becoming the best version of myself possible" that is exactly the same for me and i'm so glad it has been for you too.

I'm going to make another post/update tomorrow afternoon after my treatment and let everyone know my progress and I totally agree about shining more awareness about it and helping others, it also just feels good to do it. Thanks much for you support and encouragement too.

LifeIsThePitts in reply to designguy2 months ago

Aww, I appreciate your compliments. Your story is such a great example for everyone to hear. Your story is a HUGE encouragement for everyone! Just experiencing the lifting of all the cliche depression symptoms is a revelation that shows you how much you've been suffering from the disease. It takes away the guilt and shame that somehow you're RESPONSIBLE for feeling emotionally horrible for decades when actually we've been sick with active symptoms for extremely long periods of time. We don't feel guilty for being sick with symptoms of the flu or cancer. Those diseases we don't blame ourselves for. How should mental health and TRD be any different?

Can't wait to read your post today!

designguy in reply to LifeIsThePitts1 month ago

I totally agree with you, this experience with TMS has reinforced my belief that genetics plays a big part in contributing to depression/anxiety/mood issues and why some of us don't heal after doing all of the therapy and medications.

bethelbee in reply to designguy1 month ago

I am thrilled you are doing much better and hope your results last a long time! I love LifeInThe Pitts comments. I never looked forward to any of the treatments but at least didn't dread them part of the way in as I did on the beginning. Continue to keep us posted!

designguy in reply to bethelbee1 month ago

Thanks, I will keep posting. And I admit that at first I didn't think I would be looking forward to it but I am too!

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