Hello all, i'm down to two sessions a week and I had a relapse this last weekend and am bumbed about it to say the least. I'm not sure if it is due to the TMS but doubt it and I have an appointment Monday with the psychologist/clinic director on Monday to discuss it. I am also on TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) and there are two parts to the therapy, one being an injection of HCG which the clinic ran out of three weeks ago and the feds/FDA have changed the rules for and it's no longer available but there are substitutes available but it took my clinic until this last Tuesday to have it. So I had been doing so well and Sunday morning woke up with a lot of fatigue, brain fog, ruminating and body aches and even some brain zapping and it felt familiar like the time late last fall before the holidays that I switched TRT providers and they did not do the HCG shot. So I had switched back to my original, now current, TRT provider and resumed both shots right before starting my TMS therapy and started doing really well. I was continuing to do well even without the HCG injection for the last few weeks and thought the TMS was compensating for it but apparently not. The lack of the HCG shot is the only change i've had since starting TMS. When I went into my TRT clinic on Tuesday they said that some other guys were complaining of issues without the HCG also and for some men it doesn't have much of an impact but others it does and I'm one it apparently does. They started me on a replacement that is a pill that I take 5 days a week and i'm assuming is going to take a while to have an affect. i have a meeting with the TRT Clinic director next Friday to go over things also. My thing right now is to be kind and supportive to myself and go with the flow and accept that life has it's ups and downs and not let my anxious mind blow things out of proportion and give myself the time for the new med to adjust. I have to admit that I have had unrealistic expectations of myself in the past and am trying to be aware when they come up and be rational with myself. And maybe i'm trying to be positive about the TMS but it does seem like I have more mental resiliency this time around than the first time. So the journey continues....
My TMS journey, another update... - Anxiety and Depre...
My TMS journey, another update...
Thanks, yes man-o-pause or ladypause as you call it is a blast, and is a real thing called andropause and made me much more sympathetic to women dealing with menopause. Oh the joys of aging - lol.
sleepy dreams to ya,
That was deep to read, but I want to thank you for sharing all of that.
I sorry to hear that you are going through a setback, but I appreciate that you shared all of that, and I hope that you (hopefully) feel better soon. 
.
& Of course, please keep us updated.
Yes I know it was a bit of a slog to read through it and thanks for your support, I will continue to update.
"Yes I know it was a bit of a slog to read"
Not at all.
I thought that everything that you wrote was important and useful.
Thanks much, I appreciate it.
Hang in there, like you said life is always ups and downs, we can always get better at handling those
I agree, it's about developing more emotional resiliency, thanks.
sorry you had a relapse and dealing with the stupid Bs with the meds and the lack of availability and all that. But, you’ve been doing great so you know what tell the relapse/set back to go F off. Marching forward. You got this!!
I will and thanks much for the support! Onward and upward!
you’re welcome. No sinking, swimming only. 🙌🏻
I got my water-wings on so no sinking - lol!
I totally understand the unrealistic expectations gambit.🙋🤦 guilty af on so many levels. Goes along with not being able to give myself credit where it's due. I have a lot of issues with perfectionism that are technically built-in failure schemes of negative reinforcement cycles. In the process of breaking them after the financial disaster of last month. Trauma is no joke and all my chickens have come home to roost...I don't get to ignore my past anymore. I've been forced to face it NOW.
Anyway I'm sorry you're going through this challenge with your hormones. I'm going through perimenopause and it's a BITCH!! My cycles come every 21 days or 3-9 months. Horrible rollercoaster of hormone driven hell every single month!! Don't know if I'm coming or going. TRD symptoms mimic perimenopause symptoms and the crazy hormone fluctuations wreak havoc on my mental state. I've been considering HRT when I see my obgyn this year. It's not easy to figure out which of my ailments is currently hijacking my brain. Depression, trauma, my depleted lady parts or anxiety... it's a grab bag of shit prizes. So I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from and the frustration and uncertainty it triggers. Hopefully you get some answers at your trt appointment this week.
I'm glad you're feeling like you're more resilient, though. TMS is a life saver but it's still up to us to keep working on ourselves. I've found its my #1 integral part of staying mentally stable but it does require all my other strategies and tools to cope and thrive and keep moving forward.
For me, TMS remains the 🗝️🔐 key that opens the 🚪 door to my success. I still have to walk through the door and accept the challenge of becoming fully healed. I require monthly TMS session (s) to stay in remission. It's not a failure or shortcoming. That's the correct "dose" my brain needs.
Keep us posted on your trt appointment results. I hope 🙏 they can stabilize your symptoms.
P.S. I guess I had to realize TMS won't eliminate my TRD or anxiety problems like 🪄✨ 🎩 magic. TMS alone will not banish my symptoms and never have to deal with depression again. Part of me WANTED that to be true. Like lots of folks are mislead to believe pills cure depression. No. WE are the cure. We have to do the hard messy inner work and tame our ego/inner child so our true nature can be heard. It's all WITHIN us....🧩🧲🧠
I can definitely relate to your post, love the "it's a grab bag of shit prizes" it's kind of like playing whack a mole at times. I completely agree that we are the cure and have to do the messy work to reclaim our authentic selves. Sounds like you have gained a lot of wisdom through your ordeals, I appreciate your support.
Love YouTube and the anxiety guy and MANY others. I'm watching Paul Stamets and the Fungi mushroom world right now. Fascinating subject with psylocybin treatment in mental health. Always trying to learn!! Keep posting your updates... love hearing from you.
Whack a mole... 😂 LMAO 🤣
I just came across this and thought you might like it, let me know if you do any micro-dosing and how it works out for you.
drmaya.com/plant/?ref=berna...
microdosing is a poke and hope endeavor for me as my shrooms always come from the same person but I don't know their potency or supply chain. But generally speaking 0.5-1.0 gram is a good microdose for me where I can feel a little bit of effect but am still fully functional. Over a gram, especially since I haven't had any in over a year now, will give more of a "high" or psychedelic somatic experience where you'll feel it in your body and mind. My brain gets REALLY clear and feels lighter in weight and brighter, like zero shadows or darkness. It's pretty cool. I get chatty and things are just FUN or funny. I laughed until I cried once when the Bush's Baked Beans Dog commercial caught my attention. The dog talks and watching his mouth move with the words SLAYED me!🤣🤣 It was an experience I never forgot... obviously.
I love shrooms. I use medical marijuana daily. I've always had a recreational proclivity for them. I don't believe that's a coincidence at all. I knew innately long ago that my "wiring" is conducive for psychedelic therapy success. It's just ironic that my recreational usage will become my prescribed medication in the near future.
I had 2 courses of TMS, 36 sessions each, 3,years apart, and neither one did anything for me (my therapist talked me into doing the second series because TMS was supposedly tweaked and improved from the first series). I laughed when I saw you say "And maybe i'm trying to be positive about the TMS" because that's what they get you to do., try to talk you into believing it's doing something for you. They did the same with me. But some people say they benefitted, and we have to believe them. Don't really know what to think about TMS, but I certainly would never recommend it or do it again.
what a kind and honest feedback. Thanks for sharing. Hope ur well though despite that experience and trying other things that benefit you. Prayers up.
Good luck with your appointment today!💓
Thanks for thinking of me, it went well and we discussed things and we're going to dee how i'm doing at the end of this week and then maybe make some changes. I go back for treatment tomorrow. I'm actually feeling better some, I think the substitute they gave me last week for the HCG is starting to make a difference, i'm not do fatigued or brain foggy today and my anxiety is reduced some, hope it's a good sign and continues.
How are you doing, weren't you doing a touch up treatment?
👍 I go once a month now... maybe changing to every 3-4 wks. But it's helping keep me stable for longer periods. Don't wanna ride the TRD rollercoaster 🎢 anymore
That is great, i'm glad you are finding it still helpful and keeping you stable.
I'm doing better and doing two sessions a week, i'm not sure how much longer I have to go, they have talked about maybe extending it but we'll see. My HCG substitute is kicking in and helping, i also found out that I am under-medicated for my hypothyroidism and should double the dosage amount of my med which helps explain more my setback. I'm still amazed at how much our endocrine system affects our mental health and how critical it is to get it balanced out.
Congratulations on getting things sorted out! Relying on insurance coverage for meds is a frustrating endeavor. Never know when they just decide to quit covering our prescriptions and then the patient is left stranded cold turkey. Not a healthy way to transition people from med to med!!
Every system in our bodies effects our mental health. Have you started researching the microbiome and gut brain axis and the Vagus nerve? We DEFINITELY ARE WHAT WE EAT!!! Between psychedelics and how our "second Brain"🧠 from our digestive system influences our actual brain chemistry 🧪⚗️, we're about to see incredible advances in depression and anxiety treatment.
Yes, i'm aware of the whole gut microbiome thing and totally agree about how important healthy quality food is to us humans. I try to eat mostly healthy organic foods and a balanced diet, i've even done a sibo diet and healed it and suspect I need to do it again. I also supplement with probiotics and even prebiotics and digestive enzymes. I'm also gluten sensitive so I restrict the amount of gluten I eat, thankfully there are some good gluten substitute foods available anymore.
Me too. Whole organic foods are the best for our bodies and brains and it's taken me well over a decade of learning and changing habits to achieve any sense of permanence.
My friend has leaky gut syndrome and I had my gallbladder removed Aug '22 and had a C. Diff Colitis infection back in 2012, so I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND the digestive complications!!! Food has been a combative foe and adversary many times over during my lifetime. Luckily I'm back in the 'friend zone' hopefully a permanent residency this time with very little conflict.🤞
I'm on a low dose antibiotic oral medication for my INSANE perimenopause acne so I eat a lot of pre/probiotics too. Kombucha, sauerkraut, Greek yogurt, probiotic cottage cheese... tons of fruit and veggies. Gotta keep feeding the good microbiome critters...or I get yeast infections from the med. And that sucks!!😫🤷🤦
It's good that you understand the consequence of taking the antibiotics and countering it with the pre/probiotic foods. I use to have chronic sinusitis and found out it was from abusing antibiotics and my junk food diet, heavy on the sugar and pastries and deserts. I was so naive. Had candida fungal overgrowth, not fun and yes that sucks too. Cutting out all but the occasional wheat has helped and limiting sugar. Did the diet from hell a couple of times, no sugar, no dairy, no wheat, no alcohol, limited fruits. It got to where tap water tasted sweet.
Best decision ever was to (nearly) eliminate our added sugar intake. It's been about 10 months since we made this Life altering dietary choice. We'd both been headed in the 'whole foods/organic' direction for years. Reading about the microbiome/gut brain axis/vagus nerve, blue zone, Mediterranean and anti inflammatory diets and EVERYTHING related to mental health support brought us to this logical conclusion....No ADDED SUGAR!!
Our history with the horrible western diet of junk, ultra processed, greasy fast food with little or no fruits and veggies was the norm for us until my health started declining rapidly in 2013. In the US we don't teach our kids nutritional value or dietary health benefits. It's appalling that our society has regressed in so many ways. Overall we're a juvenile society with an adolescent mentality AT BEST!! Immediate gratification or something for nothing or outright unabashed unwarranted entitlement with no regard for logic, education or knowledge.
Forget about science or cold hard facts... we're repressed, stunted and emotionally out of touch with reality as a country. The pandemic exacerbated all our disfunctional shortcomings and I think our society is on the brink of HUGE radical shifts in global economic balance and power. I think we're living in the beginning of the End Game. Climate change and🌡️ weather ☁️ patterns, natural disasters, war and economic inflation... they're all escalating and our ignorance will be our ultimate downfall.
Whoo hoo...how did I get off on a tangent!!??🤭🤣 gotta get out the door with the doggies now!!
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