Need a good friend

[Phoenix11]

Im in desperate need of someone to lean on for advice. Someone that is there all the time. Someone to keep me out of my own head. Therapy is good and all but once a week doesn't cut it. I need other opinions from someone I can trust not to judge me.

[Peacely]

You've come to the right place there are lots of friends out here in this place.

[Phoenix11 in reply to Peacely]

Thanks. I don't understand the concept of love yourself. Make yourself be enough. I have mentally been alone for most my life and I just can't do it anymore.

[Hidden]

Welcome to the forums! Many of us are struggling as well and find these boards as a safe place to vent/post/ask advice, etc.

[Phoenix11 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I've never done this before. I'm like a toddler that doesn't know how to make friends or start conversations.

[Hidden in reply to Phoenix11]

That's all right. I am new here too and have already had wonderful support and replies to my fears and anxieties. You did it right; you made a post! Now, you will see people responding to you with different words of encouragement and wisdom to help you navigate. All of us started out not knowing who is here but joining this site anyway and many have made posts along the way like you have.

[Welsa in reply to Phoenix11]

I’m also new, and just joining made me feel heaps better.

You will see similar stories to your own and it will help you realise your not alone.

always talk no matter how big or small,

Rant out what ever you need too and you will release those tensions.

Well done for seeking help it’s a great step forwards.

[Rituals]

Hi Phonenix11 this is a safe place to vent/chat. I get stuck myself. What do you struggle with?

[Phoenix11 in reply to Rituals]

Well.. I am told I'm clingy and emotionally fragile... I can be fine one minute then all of a sudden get this pit in my stomach and start going through all the current things going on in my life and I just overthink and can't stop. Then it leads to a full blown panic attack. I last out when I get news I don't like. I used to just shut down and ghost people to avoid my extreme reactions. Then they get mad I ghosted. I'm in an abusive marriage I don't know how to leave. I have a kid I don't want to grow up like I did who is also emotionally sensitive. I can't figure out choices that won't hurt others (I'm also a people pleaser). I just feel lost. My therapist just tells me to go to my happy place in my head bit I've been living there forever already just to keep going. I played an online game. Made a friend for 4 years... fell for him.. and now he is seeing someone else because I wasn't a healthy relationship. I don't connect with people easily and this was the first time I did and now my abandonment issues skyrocketed. I sit at work and tears just fall. I can't even control that anymore. My friend who was my safe place broke my final pieces. I just can't seem to find light at the end of the tunnel. Everything is a mess.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Phoenix11]

Hey. Me too.

[Phoenix11 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

You too?

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Phoenix11]

Your reply to Weelon could pretty much have been written by me. Minor exceptions, but the same basic story. For what it's worth, you're not alone.

[Phoenix11 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thanks. It's exhausting. I just want to hide away in a ball till I feel better.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Phoenix11]

I know. Sometimes a long rest helps.

Dragging myself out of hiding and getting things done helps sometimes too. I've had good luck keeping a "success" record -- writing down each-and-every thing I accomplish in a day. It's easy to push yourself and then not feel as though it did any good otherwise.

[Rituals in reply to Phoenix11]

Try to put all your energy into your child. Do it for them. Turn the lashing out, attacks & emotions into positive energy. Your purpose is your child. It’s hard to be positive if everything around you is negative. Do one thing at a time & take back your control, you can do this. You can make more friends, or apologise to them & explain. If they don’t get you or want to, just walk away. Vent off is a good way of getting it off your chest but try & find your peace.

[Agora1]

Hi Phoenix11, Someone once told me that I too needed a good friend

but what they said after that took me by surprise...

"And that friend is you" It cut like a knife at first because I thought

they were going to say that they would stand by me. It was a rude

awakening but an awakening nevertheless.

From that moment on, I knew that no one could ever help me like I

could help myself. No one could ever feel the emotions I experience

but myself. And....no one could ever love me like I could love myself.

Be kind to YOU...before you can be kind to others. Love you, before you

can love others...Words of Wisdom from a long time friend xx

[Phoenix11]

Thanks. It's just that I've been keeping myself going for so long im tired of doing it alone.

[Mohammad-341]

U can connect with me. I had been thru these conditions. I may b able to understand u.

[AnxiousSilver]

Welcome.