I am here for the first time. I want to explain my username. My husband gave me a kitten, we named her Misty. She is my best friend. Hence my username.
I need a friend. Neither of my daughters (27 & 33) want to speak to me. I need a friend who has ben through this or someone who can just text with me when I feel down. I had anxiety and depression 25yrs ago, and was able to overcome them. I want to do the same again.
Looking forward to texting with people and sharing ideas. Below is my ideal retirement home.
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Mistykitten
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I went thru an intensive counseling program called TERRAP--(based out of Menlo Park CA. There are still classes I believe). They helped me most. Territorial Apprehensiveness retraining. The panic and agoraphobia was settled by exposure therapy. I would go for a walk. I would walk for as long as I wasn't panicky. The moment I started to feel anxious, I stopped, turned around and went back to a "safe place". Like my home, or a good friend. The next day I would walk the same way, but go 1 block more. or until I felt anxious. Then stop and go back to my safe place. Each day I would add on what I could. Even if I could only go 2 steps further than the day before. the fact is I went further. So I rejoiced in that accomplishment. I did the same thing in the Car and soon I was driving the highways in San Diego CA, without any anxiety, and working full time. The key is not to push it to the point that you have a full blown panic attack. Expose yourself to a little more each day or each week, every person is different. I also had a wonderful support person, my husband. he was wonderful through all this. I believe in exposure therapy, it really worked for me. Skeeble, if you have more questions, I would be happy to answer anything for you as best I can. I wish you only the best and know, you can overcome this, and the anxiety will go away once you have the tools you need to get rid of it. If you start thinking about being anxious, chances are you feel a little anxious right? But I learned that I could not be in my safe place (or anywhere) and make myself have a full blown panic attack. it just doesn't work that way. The anxiety triggers have to be there. Expose yourself to the triggers, slowly and they slowly go away. Warmest regards. Mistykitten
Yes it is. I used the same exposure techniques I explained in my 1st post. I would go to the mall and my wonderful husband would walk 50ft or so behind me. I felt alone, but knew he was there if I needed him. If I went into a store, he would stop and wait for me go come out of the store, but be in plain sight somI could see him right when I came out of the store. I graduated up to leaving him in the food court whilevI went as far ascI could, comfortably. Finally I overcame. I have faith you can do the same. In your
Oh I can relate our one son doesn't speak to us, we have 4 grown kids. Also he has a son, our grandson & don't see him. So sad, heartbreaking & stinks 100%. I'm here for you. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!
I get up everyday crying. I can't seem to function until around 2pm. How did you keep from picking up the phone and calling? She speaks to he dad, but not to me. She has just shut the door in my face, so I am having to guess at what she is angry about.
Ours is a long story, I had no desire to call him, he's very arrogant. We know it isn't us. Maybe you should try to call her or write a letter to her. I so wish this works out for you. I get the pain even though we have shut the door, it still hurts. A mother's love is so powerful isn't it? They can stomp on you and it doesn't matter, you love them with all your heart. I really hope this works out for you, in the meantime if you'd like you can pm me, I'm here for you! May you find the peace you need. Love, light, joy & hugs!
I've written letters, tried to call eft msg. She called her dad and told him to tell me not to call, txt, write or anything. She will call when she is ready to talk to me, I am falling apart, the crying is starting again. I have agreed to go with my husband to his fishing club just to get out of the house. I'm not really looking forward to this, but I don't want to stay home alone with my thoughts
Anyways, so, it sounds really sad to have your daughters not want to talk to you. Do you have any idea why this may be the case? If so, you may be able to fix things between you two.
I will not give you my mobile number, as I am under 18 and must keep myself safe not that I consider you dangerous, but... okay, I’ll stop. But feel free to PM me here on HealthUnlocked, as I will always answer and be open. I check this site every day.
Welcome to the community! It’s a wonderful place, with lots of nice people. Some people I know from other communities on HealthUnlocked are also here, so it’s always a nice surprise when that happens.
Well done for overcoming depression and anxiety all those years ago, that’s still something I haven’t managed yet. I’ve barely even started. In fact, unfortunately, my mother is now taking me to A&E because the school is worried that I might not let myself survive the weekend 😐 Their worries are accurate and necessary, but I just hate A&E. It’s five hours of waiting in a noisy, crowded place, only to get help that doesn’t really help.
And that retirement home looks fabulous! I’d love to retire there. So peaceful and quiet (unlike A&E)!
You are correct in not giving out your ph #!! Do not share it with ANYONE please. That's what this site is for. My girls not talking to me is like there has been a death n my family. I can't stop crying. I have to shake this off, leave Carrie alone, and maybe she will realize I did the best I could with regards to parenting her. Remember, your mom just wants the best for you.... and it sounds like you realize that. Take care, text me anytime.
Perhaps you could write them a letter/text them that you’re going to start respecting their wishes to not to talk to you, but that you’re always open and would be happy to talk if they would like to, and that even if you guys don’t talk, you’ll always be there for them as a friend, a mother, and a person. You could tell them that you did do your best, as well. I can imagine that your daughters not wanting to talk to you would be like a family death, and it must be so hard to deal with. I cried and felt really sad when someone in my family I’d never even met died, so I just can’t imagine what it’d be like to have someone you knew die, or for it to feel like that. My great-grandmother died when I was two, and I would always feed her pannacotta and give her flowers. Because I was two, when she died, I had no idea what happened, so I just moved on from it, and now, I’m sad that she died, but I never really mourned. Is that really cold-hearted? I don’t know. Anyways, best wishes.
It's not cold hearted. And I wrote her a letter, and now I am sure I am blocked on Facebook. Her dad texted her on my behalf, she is just not ready to talk. It took me 5 yrs to get pregnant with each of my daughters. I was on fertility drugs. These girls were so wanted, and now I feel I'm disposable to them. It took her over 15 yrs to finally say something to me. how long will I have to wait to hear that she never wants to see me again?
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xx
FRIEND IN NEED
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