very anxious due to having dental imp... - Anxiety and Depre...

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very anxious due to having dental implants tomorrow

Roukaya profile image
11 Replies

I am due to have Dental Implant Surgery tomorrow

Today I reflected in my life and at the treatment received from my Mother in the past

Also I am trying to re enter law but due to lack of experience and the age it is increasing difficult

There is nothing like facing your greatest fear to see how in hindsight how life’s lessons have either taught us what is important

I expect I am trying to find employment but the teeth and implants are a fear I have to face

Mum is tired of seeing my applications being rejected because law is incredibly competitive

She has come for two months and for the first month I was quiet

But this morning due to me telling her that her friend damaged one of her properties all hell broke loose

I am a rotten daughter and simply not good enough

I have to walk on egg shells as she came to support me for the dental treatment

11 Replies
Agora1 profile image

Remember Roukaya that this is your life and not your mothers.

When all is said and done, you and you alone are responsible for the

choices you make in life. We are not here to please others including our

moms. Good Luck with your implant surgery tomorrow.

The "smile" you see looking back on you will give you the confidence and

self esteem in going forward. I wish you well :) xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Agora1

thanks for reply

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Agora1

I am a child’s in my Mothers eyes

As Hypercat said , I can never reason with a Narcissist

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Roukaya

I too was a child to my mother. She never treated my sister like that.

I was told what to do and what was expected of me from early childhood

to adult. It wasn't until I made and stuck to the decisions I made for myself

in adulthood that I was truly happy.

I never waivered even through the insults and belittling. She is gone now

and I am the person I was meant to be. I respected my mother when she

was alive. It's sad when I think back in how she couldn't be proud of me while

she was here. Be true to yourself. :) xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Agora1

my Mother is giving me the silent angry treatment.

Good advice to make decisions and to take responsibility for the decisions we make .

I have been trying since 2000 to qualify as a Solicitor this did not work out

I have since restudied in 2017 and obtained a Probate Law Diploma and I am currently studying for Conveyancing and Landlord and Tenant

I am having Dental implant treatment tomorrow and my Mother is angry I told her how she treated me in the past

The reality is that I must face a choice to keep trying in law or give up and do something related to what I have studied

I have wanted to practice law for years but due to competition and candidates who have better educational attainment, I am rejected

I realise you understand and have achieved your aims and this is a great sense of fulfilment

I have been a good daughter but today when I confronted her treatment, she exploded

I have to walk on eggshells until she goes back in a month

I will never be good enough but I will need to make a decision whether to give up trying to qualify in law

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Roukaya

I do understand Roukaya..could it be your mother's influence that is interferring

in getting what you want? My mother always wanted me to follow in her footsteps

as an executive secretary to a large firm. It was not my cup of tea although I would

have been qualified.

I choose the medical field, less pay, longer hours but I was happy.

When we can't get exactly what we dreamed of wanting all our lives, maybe

taking a sub speciality in that field will be just as satisfying for you.

My best to you :) xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Agora1

thank you for reply

I am trying to find a very humour and entry level role to start again

Even this is near impossible

in reply to Roukaya

It may be beneficial to avoid the para legal and enter at the FCILEx level and then transition across once you have acquired full standing. There are LLCs that are struggling for supervised FCILEx conveyancing staff in places like Cornwall and the more rural parts of the north east of England.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to


Thank you for your reply

I am waiting to attend the dental implant treatment.

I am trying to qualify for the CLC Licensed Probate Practitioner route and studying for the CLC in Conveyancing and Landlord and Tenant.

I am simply seeking a qualifying work experience but you seem very knowledgeable.

Are you Fellow of the Cilex

MaggieSylvie profile image

Hello Roukaya, Good to hear from you again. I have learned that when dealing with a narcissist, it is best not to confront what they did or said but to take care of yourself in the present moment. Sometimes, it's best to say nothing in response to them. If they respond badly to your asking a question i.e. Would you like to go into the town today?, you can just shrug and say "Well, I only asked. It's fine if you don't want .... What would you like to do?"

You have had a lot of disappointment with your studies and you have had some really good advice here today, so I'm not going to comment further.

I hope you can find a way to enjoy the next few weeks with your mother.😊Keep smiling!

MaggieSylvie profile image

I forgot to say Good luck with your dental implants; you are very brave, and they are expensive, but I am sure that in the end you will be glad you did it.

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