I live alone and my elderly Mother puts all her worries on me
She is overseas
I told her you put all your worries onto me and she lashed out
She always has to punish me
I am fifty unemployed and unmarried and I am trying to pass a Diploma and requalify back in Law
As I have no one she can be hurtful but she has friends and relatives but can take her anger out on me
Her trauma is not yours to carry. It's healthy to set boundaries with people. Like they tell us on an airplane, it's important that you put your mask on first before you can help anyone else with theirs. If it's too much, it's fair to tell her how it makes you feel. You get to decide how you want to be treated. Remind her that you love her, and that she's important to you, but that when she projects her worries this way, it makes you feel _________ and that's why you can't allow it.
Good on you for setting a boundary. That's really hard to do. Best of luck on passing your diploma, love! We're rooting for you!!
Thank you for reply
I am very sad given the treatment she puts on me but never to others
I have been trying for three years to pass this Diploma and find a years experience
I spent my forties looking after a mentally unwell Father
Now since 2012 my Mother becoming demanding
I hope you are ok
How are you
I think what is making me sad is the three years that have gone
Also the fact I did not get the training to become a Solicitors
Told that I speak like a child and I am emotionally dependent on her
I think sadness at putting a Narcissistic Mother first to my own detriment
You're putting in the work and I think you're incredible. Don't stop moving forward. You got this!
Have you looked to support groups for extra support with narcissistic parents?
I hope you are well
Thank you for reply
This is a very good idea
Extra support fir those who have Narcissistic parents
How are you managing in Lock Down
You Can respond to me here I always need someone to talk about to I am married with 3 kids but always feel alone I’m sorry you are going through this
Hi- I just wanted to reach out and see how you are. I just saw this post.
Hi
I think it is important here to allow your mother to be angry and for her to tell you about her worries. Your job is to step back and in your own mind keep saying to yourself “this is her stuff not mine” you have done nothing wrong. If it becomes too intense limit the contact you have with her.
But always remember she has her life and you have yours. You have put into place a great future for yourself, don’t allow anyone to spoil that. Be a caring person and do as much as you can, but be aware that other people can affect your life negatively.
Ask yourself if you want to be in control of your own life or if you want your mother to be in control.
Take back your power and think about what you want to do about this situation.
I hope this helps ❤️
Good Afternoon
I hope you are well
Thank you for your advice
It is true
Out of loneliness I let her call all the time
This is why it is like this
People on this site have been very good to me
How are you managing in Lockdown
Hi
Well it’s hard and I am getting a bit bored but trying to stay positive. How are you, are you managing to get much studying done?
Hi
Finding lots of jobs and projects I have been putting off for ages and then completing them very very slowly.
Watching the birds and plotting revenge on the squirrel who keeps stealing my fat square holders
Writing a few words for my next book and then throwing them away because they are not good enough.
Thinking about lots of things but very slowly, I have lots of time. I don’t want to run out of jobs and ideas.
Good luck in you job search, you have loads and loads and loads of time. Lol.
❤️
Sounds like you need to put up boundaries and limits for yourself... Your only a door mat if you let that happen... People only treat you like you let them... Feel better about yourself and this won't happen.... Live on your feet, not your knees..... Be proud of who you are... ♥
*Hugs from a stranger who cares* I hope the thought counts and you feel listened to by so many here in this community
Totally not fair...obviously only you can decide what you do with your mother. But well done on your studies. I hope you're successful.
I hope you are managing
I am learning to take full responsibility of my own life
Even though I have struggled to pass the Diploma in Wills and Probate
I understand why I have marginally failed
I will continue to try
How are you
I am always happy to talk you can always pm me . You will do your diploma and re train in law ...
Hello
How are you
How are managing in Lockdown
Thank you for having faith in me
I will try and I will persevere
You will do your course I cannot get mine right but only as not adding enough information mine is in mental health rushing to do never works .
I am not feeling great maybe stressed just feel odd .
I work and have worked so no thoughts re lock down as key worker .
You can do anything if you believe in yourself 
My Ex has a new girlfriend I wish him well .
Your words are very kind
Thank you
How are coping ?
I did not understand your reply
Are you worried about your back and ability to keep your job and your mortgage?
What is causing you to be stressed in a panic
Hi Roukaya, just read your post and wanted to send you hugs. I too find myself in a not to dissimilar situation. I am here to talk if you want to xXx
I'm here
Very interested
Welcome mat out
Door unlocked
I don't press
Please is anyone on to talk?!?
I can't talk to anyone
Just Wanting to Talk about Friend who has left me
How Should I Talk To Her?
