Feeling like a bad person

[Daisy425]

if you’ve been following you know that on Friday I tested “positive” for covid on a home test. The line was extremely faint. I felt fine except for a headache. I then tested the next day using a different type of test and was negative. I went and got a PCR test AND a rapid PCR test that gave me same day results. I read that the rapid test was a NAAT test which is more accurate than an rapid antigen test. My rapid PCR came back negative. I then tested the following morning using a home test and was negative.

My boyfriend and his mom said I could come over despite the fact that my PCR test hasn’t come back. I decided to go. I feel so guilty and like a terrible person but all my tests have been negative and I don’t have symptoms. They were also willing to accept the risk that my PCR hasn’t come back and could come back positive.

the guilt has been eating me alive and j needed fi vent.

[Raggedy-Ann]

good morning. You should give yourself a break. You diligently tested yourself. You don't have anything to feel guilty about. I suggest you sit with it and figure out where that feeling is coming from. Is it a response to being around your family?

[Weatherwoman in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I had Covid in Oct. of 2022. My home tests were Negative, but my PCR test was Positive after three weeks of symptoms. I was Freaked out by the PCR Positive test, and got an appt. (in person) with my doctor. My Dr. checked me (also, I had a Chest X-ray about two days before which was negative for lung, or heart problems). Anyway, my doctor said that I shouldn't worry about the PCR test being positive as she said that some people who have had Covid, and a neg. home test, plus no further symptoms can still test positive for Three Mos. I don't know if that's the case, but I trust my doctor, and hope & pray that she is correct. She told me that I don't need to take another PCR test, & in fact that I shouldn't take another one unless I had any Covid symptoms. So, that's what my doctor said. Pray.

[Hidden]

You did what you were supposed to do in a responsible manner. You tested as much as you could, which majority came back negative. You even mentioned that your bf and his mother were willing to accept that you still could be sick and welcomed you over regardless. I don't see you as the enemy here even though you are feeling like you are the one in the wrong. Perhaps as more time passes and hopefully nobody shows any symptoms of being sick, it will put your mind at ease.

[Daisy425 in reply to Hidden]

thank you. I’m sorry for being such a bother

[Hidden in reply to Daisy425]

Daisy, you're welcome but you are NOT a bother! This is how the anxious mind works. We overthink things and worry over them until we make ourselves feel sick. The struggle is to find that calm, where we can slow things down and not be overwhelmed by such negative thoughts and feelings. I hope your negative resulting tests can help give you some peace of mind!

[Daisy425 in reply to Hidden]

you are so kind, and your words mean so much! It is so challenging because I know I’m most likely not sick. But that one positive test just sticks in the back of my mind. It’s hard to let go of that and move forward.

[Daisy425 in reply to Hidden]

also difficult to make decision when you struggle with being alone. For my mental health it made sense for me to see my boyfriend because I was struggling. Since my tests were negative it seemed like the right decision at the time

[Hidden in reply to Daisy425]

I would have made the same choice, for what it's worth. If I only had 1 positive and 3 or so negatives without really having symptoms or anything, I would go and socialize with my special person. Unfortunately those tests are not very accurate as you can see and hear from many who have been tested with the at-home ones.

[Daisy425 in reply to Hidden]

knowing you would do the same gives me some peace of mind. Thank you! This whole weekend has caused so much anxiety. It’s hard for me to push through it

[Hidden in reply to Daisy425]

You're welcome. Anxiety is horrible but we all seem to have it in one way or another. We just keep going. Sometimes it's not even a push. It's one step at a time, one day at a time, and just keep going forward.

[Daisy425 in reply to Hidden]

you are a blessing and your words mean so much during this difficult time! Thank you so much

[Weatherwoman]

I've been around several people for Mos. so hopefully, my doctor is correct.