feeling like a bad person : why do... - Anxiety and Depre...

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feeling like a bad person

LIFE72 profile image
10 Replies

why do people, family, to be more specific, turn any argument around to make it seem like it’s my fault.

the worst part is; it works, my mind starts having stupid thoughts

especially since my depression and anxiety feed only negativity.

I have physical chronic pain

I just don’t like life

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LIFE72 profile image
LIFE72
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10 Replies
BlueAgave profile image
BlueAgave

Perhaps because you say you have negative thoughts that it just seems as if they think it's your fault. Sometimes I tend to interpret things the wrong way when really it's just my negative perception. Not sure if this helps, but I wish you the best.

LIFE72 profile image
LIFE72 in reply to BlueAgave

haven’t seen it from that angle. Thank you

Mister24 profile image
Mister24

I have experienced this exact thing from family, friends, and co-workers. I too struggle with either interpreting the situation in a positive way, or relieving stress from these situations and often end up feeling responsible for the less than desirable outcome. "YOU" are "NOT" at fault or to blame for having these feelings. What I am being told from less negative sources is that there are methods of seeing things from a perspective that steers your mind toward positives. How to do this I do not know but am willing to try methods to change perceptions as early as possible prior to the onset of negativity.

-My personal experience has been feeling categorized in a negative light in such a way that I do not feel "good enough" (meeting others approval) and living up to or fitting into their view/plan/hope for my life while simultaneously doing nothing or providing little help.

LIFE72 profile image
LIFE72

Thank you. You’re so right. Pretend nobody said anything and that’s that. 😉

cashew78 profile image
cashew78

Hello, I'm going to provide an alternative take on what responses I see here; they are important and they are good, but what if it truly isn't you... it's them? I only say this because your post brought up a lot of things I've personally been working through... and it's with a family that isn't particularly mature, has a number of personal issues they deflect onto others, and genuinely don't understand how to be supportive or respect boundaries. If you can find a copy at the local library, "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson may be worth a look through. If some of what she describes feels applicable, then it's one more puzzle piece in place. If it doesn't sound like it applies, great! you have one less thing to worry about. For me it validated a number of things I had figured out in my own situation and illuminated some other things I wasn't aware of. I hope this doesn't apply to you at all; my situation is such that the environment I grew up in basically helped sabotage parts of my life which I now am having to work hard to navigate. Good luck.

LIFE72 profile image
LIFE72 in reply to cashew78

Wow, I’m so sorry. That’s horrible! Thank you for such good advice. I wish you the best as well.

optimismrus profile image
optimismrus

Family are really hard to deal with. I'm sorry if you have to rely on them. If you don't need to rely on them, take care of yourself. I'm glad you can vent here and recommend you find others that will accept you just as you are. Mtgs, church communities, therapy, etc. are all ways to help you grow into the person you want to be. Don't expect approval from your family. Approving of yourself is the answer. Best wishes

LIFE72 profile image
LIFE72 in reply to optimismrus

Thank you, joining is the best thing I did 🫶

Cavalierrubie profile image
Cavalierrubie

l find when people are guilty they off load on you and they become the victim. Some nasty people are very good at it and prey on you if they know you are vulnerable. My advice is to keep away from people that don’t make you happy or encourage you. They are not true friends. True friends give love at all costs and in all situations.

LIFE72 profile image
LIFE72 in reply to Cavalierrubie

Thank you 🙏

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