I feel like not living in the current world because it's really hard. I talk to my plush animals. I know I drive my sister crazy sometimes it's just so I can't deal with my reality and my current life it's just too hard to deal with. I guess it's just an escape for me. Because I have these episodes of getting really mad and startled and angry. i feel bad for the people around me. All my self hatred comes back. My therapist told me not to slap myself in the face but I just feel like that's the only thing I could do to myself because I deserve the punishment .I feel like all the negatives in my life are popping out at me its getting harder. Currently seeing a therapist for PTSD severe depression and severe anxiety I haven't been diagnosed with anything else yet. Just wanted to thank everybody here for all your support I really appreciate it.
Always in an inner world: I feel like... - Anxiety and Depre...
Always in an inner world
Geinki
You don't deserve to be punished. You are a good person, Our heads make us think we are not worthy.
I have carry the same diagnosis. It's the past trauma that effects us this way. Continue working with your therapist, things will come together.
If your stuffed animals bring you comfort that's wonderful. We all need comfort. Let your sister think what she wants. You do what's best for you.
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Thank you, Dolphin for your friendship and all your support. One thing I like about stuffed animals is free hugs and they dont criticize like people in my office or out in public. Just wanted to thank you for being a really great friend to me and I'll always be your friend and support you in every way thank you my friend sending me warm hugs love Gigi
Gigi
This message is so special to me. Thank you for your friendship. You are such a kind, caring soul.
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Your friendship means a lot to me. I don't have too many true friends in my life.🥰🥰
They say it's not the number of friends we have but the quality of those friendships that is important.
❤️❤️
Very true. Wishing you the very best, love Gigi🤗🤗
I think you have a kind, gentle caring heart. I really appreciate your friendship I just wish there were more people like you in life
Thank you Gigi. You have a kind caring heart as well. We have both been through so much in this lifetime. With all our struggles we became good people.
I wish you the best also ❤️
You are welcome. Thank you for your kind and caring words, love Gigi💕💕💕💕
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I hope the weather is nice where you are. in California it's unseasonably cold and rainy surprisingly enough please stay safe your friend love Gigi
You stay warm and dry. It's cold here 27 degrees with wind. I am waiting for a tiny bit of snow. Haven't seen any yet
Thats cold. Please try to stay warm and keep bundled up. sending you sunny vibes⛱🏖🏝
I find this forum very interesting. People from all over and all ages. I too carry some deep scars and am in PTSD counseling now. I have had a bad 5 year run with everything that could go wrong and did in my 40s. IT IS a daily battle for me to get through a day mostly due to physical health. However, my mental health does not make matters any better. I also escape! I have been avoiding a lot of people that trigger me and I've come to terms that they weren't really friends anyway. My escape is to my room, three kids and hubby, watching old movies and turning my phone off. I really need that break often. If I nod off, then it's a bonus. I have talked to my closest circle about the mental health troubles....I can't say all supported or all though mental illness was real. There is still this stigma that is insane. My father is on an antidepressant for "other use" versus depression. Even he can't admit it's real. I too have had some breakdowns and in public. I landed on a flight a few weeks ago to come home after medical appointments that were exhausting and seemingly useless. I turned into a really mean person immediately. My husband had to get me home and basically put me to bed. He does a good job at that extra tight hug that relieves stress/panic. If you have a designated hugger, get to them! I also use this small pipe to exhale very slowly which helps repair/stimulate your vagus nerve to do its job. I can't remember the name of the product, but I wear it on a chain around my neck for emergency situations. However, I am of course on other medications too.
My sister I live with not into hugs not very affectionionate. I just get hugs for my plush stuffed animals. I'm so glad he can help you The vargus things sounds interesting. I'm on several medications also I see a therapist on a weekly basis and none of the medication seem to help anymore my psychiatrist is retiring at the end of February I've seen him since 2010 so I'm kind of scared about seeing a new person but all my therapist has been telling me that I should see a new psychiatrist now I'm being forced to which I'm kind of scared of. I'm really glad you have someone to care for you wishing you the very best😊
Hi 012703060610.
Ur in the right place to be understood , as I read ur post it struck me that ur story is very similar to mine & I bet many more here & I came back to reality when U spoke of ur loved ones , I too have my room as my space of zen , I used to be quick to anger too but not these days & it's an ongoing job to not get angry & I admire ur hubby for knowing what to do when U have a crash so to speak, my kids are my everything & got me through the worst & darkest time when my thoughts were I can't cope or wish to be here anymore but I was all they had . Now I'm in a place where I enjoy my life & if ever I'm having a dark moment I do talk to my girls & they listen & help me get back to me. I still have moments & I do believe my eldest is going to buy me a weighted blanket , which aids in calming any anxiety & a feeling of good vibes too.
It used to be scary dealing with my emotions but now I try to pass on my experiences to try help others that may be feeling as I did . Again that's this group all over , hundreds & hundreds of people from all parts of the world suffering but here ur understood as so many suffer the same , I've been here 3yrs next March & I'm so grateful to have found this & I'm surprised it's not recognised or recommended by GP's & therapists too. Its a great go to , well its definitely my go to place
I wish U love &light on ur journey
Thank you my friend🥰💕💕💕💕💕
Thank you DodgeDhanda. You are so selfless. Wish you were my neighbor. I was off the site for awhile dealing with my own misery around an additional diagnosis. I feel that we don't have all that much time on this planet and that I have no idea why people are so mean. We can't even be civil to one another in the same country. Part of my condition is around inflammation of my esophogus and I get into bouts of inability to breathe. I just learned my stomach isn't working either, it is paralyzed which is why I spent 3 years not knowing what was going on with my GI tract. No one thought to look at motility until I paid for a study out of pocket. With this, I am in special vocal therapy as are many long COVID cases. I hate going to various therapies. I love my counselor and voice counselor. Not so much on regular PT and Pelvic floor. We do a lot of breathing exercises. I had never really believed in them much but through a video guided breathing session with my therapist, I actually fell asleep. For anyone who catches this, rotezen is the off-the-grid approach that allows you to reduce from the noise, and reinvigorate the transformation you are undergoing. I use a breathing pipe (shifter) as well. I have been able to replicate a night time routine to aid in rest. Beats upping a dose of any drug at this point! Attaching link. I have no affiliation, just wanted to share what is helping me now.
Wow U are a warrior & a super strong warrior at that & never let anyone say anything less . I can't even begin to think what it must've been like going through everything U've been through & STILL going through . Physical therapy isn't good , if it was we would be at the gym everyday lol as for the pelvic floor I find the bed all nice & comfortable is a good time to get that done.
As for those that are mean , well cut those people away & the space that's left from cutting out toxic people U fill with love & good & kind people , why ? Cuz ur in control as to who enters ur heart not the haters .
Hope & wishing a Merry Christmas & 2023 is Ur year & ur gonna achieve far more than U feel U can but U will cuz ur a WARRIOR !!!
U got this Numbers ( too long to type the title U chose so I changed it , hope U don't mind ) 😉
Hi, Im glad you have a great support system at home. Ptsd is one of the hardest. Earplugs work ok for me I think the lady i deal with at work knows i have earplugs and she slams things down harder. Sending you peaceful vibes
If we're nuts for choosing to talk to our animal friends, I gotta join the club. My baby is a comfort to me too.
Sign me up for nuts also. I've always walked around the house speaking to my pets.
I have a few stuffed animals. Whatever brings us comfort.
❤️🐬
🥰🥰🥰🤗🤗
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Am sorry, there nothing wrong with you not crazy, you are survivor you are able know something is wrong, am sure you may not trust people so that's the reason you talk little stuff friends that's ok. Trust you got people who care I for one care am here if you like to chat. You take care 💕
Thank you, Moncarr, Im here for you, too💕💕💕💕
Thanks alot. I hope you had a great day today
You are welcome Sending you warm hugs💕💕💕💕💕
Awwww thanks and am sending them back to you. Did you have a good day, and how you feeling today.
Hi GG.
I understand what ur saying & ur right this a horrible place to live or be in right now & I bet there are billions of us who feel the same way & I'll tell U this having those feelings are perfectly fine , not cuz ur a bad person but due to the simple fact that every & all emotions we have deserve to be seen & heard & it's ok if anger comes to the fore as its part of us . I have learned over the years that my emotions that are seen as negative are just as legitimate as the good smile happy emotions .
The thing I have learned & I work on it all the time is when my anger is at the front I talk to it & listen to why it's here & I tell my anger that I see it & recognise it & ask what I can do & I do all of that silently , when I'm with other people & once I've heard it & accepted that it needed the light I ask it to calm down & go back so the calm & light back in & that is what I do . I have to practice it now but before I got sick nearly 20 years ago I was a very chilled person & my anger lasted milliseconds as my brain was fast at working at speed but after BOOM it was bad & I lost that chill I used to have & was always set on angry & my fuse was extra short but with extra explosives & it was me that allowed it to get so bad but it was my kids that faced the brunt of it & I couldn't see the woods for the trees .
Then I recieved that light bulb moment of grinding all my behaviour to a full stop & do things a different way , it took time to read anything I could on any forum of what happens & why it happens & then try to break it down to understand why am I like that & it was only when I truly started to understand me , was I able to start to effect the change I wanted , again a very slow process cuz my instinct was to go the opposite way & it was only when I managed to shift the way my brain worked things out was the change for the best .
I was at it for years but I must say the 2 years of lockdown helped me so much to make good changes for me & it just so happened that the very weekend before lockdown here , my daughter bought home her chihuahua she rescued & she was heaven sent too. As I bonded with Foxxy ( dogs name ) I spoke to her more & more & it helped me so much I can't put in to words & I like who I am now & I accept my faults & allow them to pop up now & again , I no longer self sabotage as much as I used to in fact it rare that I don't look for the positive in any situation & focus more there than the opposite. I did forgive myself & I learned to love myself & each morning I wake up I'm thankful for everything in my life .
For me its my daughters top then family , friends , my online HU friends here & that's all I need tbh. I still try to learn about what I need to do to make my life forfilled more too.
So love U for U GG
Dodge thank you. love you for being you, too🥰💕💕💕
Thank you for sharing with me🥰🥰🥰🥰
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