Im Struggling, i dont see an end

[212880]

im struggling really bad, with anger and extreme sadness. I have cptsd and i am unable to afford medical insurance. I have been on my own since i could remember, i dont have family for i was in foster care. I cant afford to miss work but i cannot function anymore. Im letting myself go and i keep waking up drenched in my own tears, i just want it all to stop. I am so alone in my battle constantly looking for someone to take the weight off my shoulders and save me from this life. I have been battling for years, at times its manageable but others i cant even get ready in the morning because tears just keep streaming down my face. I dont know how to navigate this world and things seem to just get harder and more expensive. I never had time to heal from all the abuse although i tried, therapy, meditation, medication, psychiatry, out patient, in patient. Maybe i am a lost cause and dont belong in this society. The world stops for no one but i just need a break….

[StardustHunter7]

Hi, I've been there. I'm still there, but I promise there is something out there to make this manageable. Stop looking at Normal therapy, start looking at things similar to hypnotherapy. Start keeping your brain busy. With extreme sadness it's hard to get control of emotions... put on music you listen to when you're in a good mood. Sometimes that helps to trick my brain into calming down. I wish I could say more, but you aren't alone because it's still unmanageable some days 🥰

[Ryanlion]

No way are you a lost cause. It sounds to me that all this crying is you actually beginning to heal. I went into therapy 20 years sgo. Although i remembered the abuse i couldnt feel much at all. In order to truly heal we need to feel our feelings. The feelings didnt surface for me until 20 years later when my mother died. Now theyre pouring out of me. I too dont have much support because i dont have anyone who truly cares about me now my mother is gone. Its so painful & a lonely journey . I joined a 12 step program Al Anon to give me support I have found members who are willing to listen, help & understand. Ultimately we are the ones who have to save ourdelves. You have had a very difficult life it seems & you need lots of love. Unfortunately we cant buy it in a bottle, i wish we could. Have you heard of SELF HAVENING, its a start, its on You Tube, it shows you how to do it on yourself. Remember you are worth it just because we have shit parents or shit starts in life we are as deserving of a good life too. If you have faith use it, if you dont, try to find it. I agree with the other member, try out of the box healing modalities like hypnotherapy, EFT, scour You tube for newer and quicker therapies. I know you must be exhausted at times so be kind & compassionate to yourself. If you like animals, get a pet to love & it will love you back especially if you rehome one. We may not heal completely but we can heal enough to enjoy life again. Neve give up on yourself, have you heard that Diamonds are created under extreme pressure. You are a diamond.

[designguy]

It sounds like you could benefit from finding a therapist that specializes in treating trauma/c-ptsd and work with them. Mine used emdr as part of the therapy which was very helpful for my healing and is proven to be very effective for treating trauma/c-ptsd. The other thing which is the most important but so many of us never learned how to do it is to love and accept yourself unconditionally wherever you are on your journey. I also found Somatic Therapy very helpful for getting in touch with and processing all of the stored anger, shame and grief stored in my body and letting it go which was very healing. There is also a lot of good info on youtube for healing that you might check out.

[Babe1213]

Hi 212880. I feel your pain, and want to reach out and hug you, but computers don't do that. You don't say where you are, and could be anywhere in the world. therefore my advice will be limited You need to talk, to explore your life, and reasoning behind your struggles and you need to find someone who can help facilitate and counsel. I suggest wherever you are you walk into an Episcopal church and ask the minister to help you. This is their calling, they are duty bound by confidentiality. It was an Anglican priest who helped me through my trauma. no good going to church of Rome as you will be judged. Other denominations not very helpful where I am in UK. We also have Samaritans here in UK - I am not suggestion you are suicidal, but they do have extensive information of where to find help. The other thing you can do is try some immediate meditation, finding a secure place set apart from anyone else. Play some calming music which you like, and allow yourself to self minister your entire body, bit by bit, by listening to your five senses. Do please let us know how you are getting on and keep in touch. If I can be more help please let me know where you are in the world and I will try to find local help for you.

[MidnightBriarRose]

Hello, 212880…..I am so sorry you are going through this. But please know that you are not alone, as many have gone through and felt like they just don’t belong in a society that doesn’t have anywhere near the kindness, compassion and understanding that they should. But you are never alone, as in a world of billions of people, there are always others out there that will understand and offer a helping hand of support. So if I can be of any help to you, please don’t hesitate to ask, or private message me on here. May God Bless and Keep You in All that You Do.

🌿🌹🌿❤️🌿🌹🌿