Mom is triggering me and i hate hearing her and i'm scared If she's inadequate and drinking

[Against_the_current]

I was sleeping(it's 6pm,napping)and mom called and she dropped something in sis eye and i was like "leave the phone, you're gonna blind her". And she sounded weird, it's 6pm it's early for drinking. I hope it's just my anxiety. I hate mom. I hate mom calling

[fauxartist]

Dealing with a dysfunctional parent who is actively drinking is a nightmare at any age, but when you're trapped in the situation because you're still living at home, it's impossible some days. I'm sorry you're going through this, but it may help if you check out some sites like Alateen or Aloanon depending on how old you are,... can give you an outlet. Sometimes sharing with others about dealing with alcoholic parents, can help take some of the fear and anger out of it...

al-anon.org/for-members/gro...

[Against_the_current in reply to fauxartist]

Yeah, it's terrible. Thanks for resources, so sad mom doesn't want help

[fauxartist in reply to Against_the_current]

That's the key... they have to want help.... no one can help them. When someone is active in their drinking or drugging.... it's a very selfish state of mind. Their personalities are changed, all the filters are gone...and as for those on the outside....they feel abandoned emotionally and are angry that that parent, friend, spouse, etc., doesn't care enough about them to stop. But addiction isn't a switch you can easily turn off and on, and getting to the first step of admitting you have a problem is like climbing Mount Everest.

So those two resources are just a few of many that are online to help people dealing with a dysfunctional person, and how to disassociate yourself from their addiction. We have to learn to live our lives and not try to rescue or hope in vain someone will just change. It's the definition of insanity, doing something over and over and hoping for different results. You're not the cause of this, it's not your fault, and it's a very sad and difficult situation you're in, but you're not alone here.... my mother lived on pills, anger, and cruelty, I know what it's like, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

[bethelbee in reply to fauxartist]

Great reply. I had a friend who was an alcoholic. A couple of us friends didn't even realize it for quite a while until one night when she was supposed to meet us for dinner and didn't show. She was one who was always punctual. We went to her house and found her passed out in a chair with a strong scent of alcohol and an ashtray full fo butts, didn't know she smoked either. She hid it all well. One Saturday she and I were supposed to take the train up to NYC to see a show and when I went to pick her up that morning she was already drunk. Unfortunately she lost her battle and was found by a neighbor who hadn't seen her in a couple days. She must have died in her sleep... It's hard watching someone decline like that but we knew we couldn't do anything for her. She had to want it for herself.

[fauxartist in reply to bethelbee]

I'm sorry for your loss, and yes... drinking will eventually kill you... that's a fact for most of us. Most people can have a social or casual drink, but if you're pre-disposed to alcoholism... one drink is too many.... you just don't stop, and as another here said, it's accumulative and escalates... Most try to hide their true addictions and live in shame. But eventually, like you shared, sadly, it catches up and takes over.

[bethelbee in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for your reply!

[fauxartist in reply to bethelbee]

anytime...

[Starrlight]

❤️

[alat]

I don't know if it is appropriate to say that I admire your protection of your sister and your strength, but I do. I hope and I know you can get through this. If you ever needed to talk, you can DM me on here.

[Against_the_current in reply to alat]

Thank you!

[emmi331]

As an alcoholic who's been in recovery for 24 years, I can affirm that 6pm is not too late to start drinking! In my last days as an active alcoholic, I was often pouring a drink at 9 in the morning.

If Mom is alcoholic, her condition will only get worse, since alcoholism is progressive. I strongly recommend you attend Alanon or Alateen meetings if they are available. There is also online support.

My mother was alcoholic, too, so I know the kind of hell you're living in.

[fauxartist in reply to emmi331]

Another friend in recovery... awesome, ... thank you for your honesty ... there's a few of us here for sure.

It does run in families... my grandmother, and grandfather,....my mother took 'mothers little helpers' like candy from her doctor, so she justified her addiction because they were prescribed.

[Against_the_current in reply to emmi331]

Don't say this

[Against_the_current in reply to Against_the_current]

Please If you're going to comment on how she will get worse, don't. I'm warning. Don't. I can't do anything. Just panic. Or kill myself in despair. Don't tell me

[Against_the_current]

Please If you're going to comment on how she will get worse, don't. I'm warning. Don't. I can't do anything. Just panic. Or kill myself in despair. Don't tell me

[emmi331 in reply to Against_the_current]

It was not my intent to upset you, especially since I was identifying with you. I will not make further comments on the nature of alcoholism. Take care....