First day with my family and mom is a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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First day with my family and mom is already drinking and defending Russia

Against_the_current profile image

I hate her. I hate it. I hate my family. I hate being born. 1 day and mom's already drinking and saying Putin could save the world from the nassist ukrainians. What the hell? Fck communist brain washing. And drinking. Made her a drunk zombie. The war has nothing to do with this and Ukraine is the victim. How dare she speak this communist bullshit. I don't think Putin is communist either. Actually the Last communist ruler gave Krym to Ukraine and Putin doesn't accept it and is violating. How can she do this. Drinking and defending communism. On the first day. I was planning on staying 2 weeks at home. I can't even call them without getting a Major mental trauma. I can't anymore. I should probably lock myself in my accomodation and never talk to my family again. Please help 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Against_the_current
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10 Replies
Marysblue profile image
Marysblue

I'm sorry you're having to deal with something like this. Can you find a crisis line to call and talk to? Families can really trigger you. Maybe Al-Anon would help. I don't know what to tell you but I hate youre having to deal with this.Try to hang in there with them, I went away from my family on a vacation and stayed by myself in a room. I wished I had stayed and dealt with it.that was years ago.

Can you tell anyone in the family, and can you talk about how you feel and just use I statements.. I am disappointed or I m upset when you drink , I feel anxious when you talk like that.

Against_the_current profile image
Against_the_current in reply toMarysblue

I don't have any privacy here and If they hear me, i'm doomed

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth

Sounds like what America has become since 2017. My family is not divided like that thankfully. I have met plenty who do have to deal with misinformation. It is infuriating. My advice would be to come to a truce to completely ban the topic from family discussion. You aren’t going to convince them. They aren’t going to convince you. Instead it will just tear apart your family. If they will not agree at this time then I think I would get out of the house. Pretty much anytime the conversation is a drunk conversation is a good time to leave. You don’t have to leave forever. Just get yourself out of that toxic environment.

tofler profile image
tofler

Your family situation and family dynamics sound rather unhealthy and they're likely to be having a big impact on your mental health (your posts seem to refer to family issues quite often). As Blueruth has suggested above, is there anything you can do to put more distance between yourself and this unhealthy environment, so that you're reducing how much you're exposed to it? It sounds like you maybe need a break from your family?

Against_the_current profile image
Against_the_current in reply totofler

I was in my accomodation but they picked me to go on a trip and i'm losing it. Mom has a birthday and nameday next week, then Easter. But i can't make it. I want to go back to my accomodation and stay there. But i'm kinda worried about sis too

Midori profile image
Midori

I am so sorry you are having this trouble with your family. I don't know the politics in Bulgaria, unfortunately and we aren't encouraged to post political stuff here, but In UK particularly we are keeping an eye on it.

I hoped you would be happier now you have moved away from home, but I think with your mother's drinking and her opinions, you might be better to stay away for awhile, if possible.

Get your head into a better frame of mind, and stronger, before you go back there. Try not to phone either.

if you can make a friend or two outside your family, you may be able to establish a life outside your family, which I think you sorely need.

Cheers, Midori

MCAJ profile image
MCAJ

You have your own life and thoughts, you don’t need to think like her. Just explain you are there to see your family and leave politics on the side. Try other conversations. If it doesn’t work, then go stay with friends.

emmi331 profile image
emmi331

When Mom comes up with these comments, please remember that's the alcohol talking. People say insane things when they're drunk. Turn a deaf ear, leave the room, go for a walk. And call AA, who should be able to direct you to an Alanon meeting. People living in a home that's dysfunctional due to alcoholism need all the help they can get! I ought to know; I grew up with two alcoholic parents and am a recovering alcoholic myself.

Daveacr1959 profile image
Daveacr1959

I agree with what you said except one thing.. you hate your mom . Drinking is bad and many are addicted. Many are self medicating, still no excuses. Hate the drinking but not your mom . She is the only mom you will ever have. If she had taken her eyes off you for 1 minute, at the wrong time. When you were a baby or toddler, you would be dead or in a wheelchair. Anyone who has raised children knows this. Give her credit for loving you enough to keep you safe as a baby and toddler and young child. Give her credit for the sleepless nights and diapers. Give her love for something?

Let her know you love her but hate her drinking.

Try some daily breathing exercises free on you tube you like. Try 30-40 minutes of daily cardio exercise to help burn off steam and relaxation. If you are really brave try a cool shower or bath. Working your way to cold . Love has the power to help you and your mom . And it starts with you just loving her. No matter her faults.

Feazaz profile image
Feazaz

thanks for info

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