Sis is sick and her teacher said "she's gonna end her from exams when she's back" and i'm panicing

[Against_the_current]

She texted me this some hours ago. I didn't get a notification and noticed some hours ago and she's not seeing (probably is asleep) and i worry what i Replied. I'm not okay myself and every interaction with family triggers me. Sis needed me and i screwed up

Plus granma called. I was trying to avoid her these days because mom left me as a baby to her and in psychology it's dangerous to feel granma as a mom but granma is really attached to me and it's creepy. I asked her to removed some pics that are triggering to me and sis, she said we have touched them. My God 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[SoporRose]

I’m not sure what your post is trying to convey. What does “end her from exams” mean? Not let her take them?

If your sister has been ill, might she be unprepared for her exams? What do you think you should have done? Your sister is old enough now to learn to talk to her teachers on her own behalf.

Ideally you would have had your mom be a decent parent for you, but since she wasn't, it seems as if you were lucky to have had your grandmother step up. I understand that her affection for you can be overwhelming, but I think it’s important to remember she stepped up for you when your mom abandoned you and to hold on to the positive as well as the negative to help keep some balance in your mind.

I’m afraid I really don’t understand what is going on with the photos.

You can’t be there for your sister every second. You didn’t screw up. Your provide your sister with a lot of support and counsel, and that is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thanks

[Hidden]

Yes, I agree. You can’t do everything for your sister. She needs to learn how to be responsible for herself. It’s not your job to always have to save her.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

I needed this

[Genuineguy]

Hi Against, you obviously care very much for your sister and have a big heart for her. But I promise you your sis can learn the skills to be ok and cope. It isnt our responsibility to make everything ok for one another. I know you want to and you are very loving, but that is just so much too much pressure on you. You didnt do anything wrong by missing her call. We all do that at times when we are sleeping or doing other things. I do this all the time but try get back to friends and family when I can. Im sure others are the same.

My therapist told me that when we get in touch with one another when we are struggling, it is only human beings trying to negotiate what to do. It isnt a demand or expectation that we HAVE to be there. And it is reasonable we cant always be there for one another straight away. This is because we are not always able and we understand that. But if we can be there for others then it should be because we are in a healthy place and are ready to be there. This takes time so its ok if we cant be there at times because we need to care for ourselves before we can help others.

Im sure there have been other times you havent been able to answer a call or message from others, even your sis, and they still trust you.

Youre doing a great job Against managing family life, university and your new accomodation. Please keep trying to care for yourself and take time for you because you deserve that too. It is good for you and your family to be ok with sleeping if you need to even if that means replying to a message later. Youre still a good sis 🙂💙

[Against_the_current in reply to Genuineguy]

Beautifully explained. Thank you so much 🙏💙