Deciding.

[benmaise]

Why can I not decide what I wan't? It doesn't matter if I'm buying clothes or something for my home. I keep changing my mind and can't decide. I am 78 now. Maybe my age doesn't help. I never used to be this bad. I have made mistakes lately and wasted money. I am buying then not liking things. I can't afford to do this anymore. I'm bright enough in other things I do.

[Blueruth]

I don’t know how this is related but our brains actually do share some characteristics with computers. When you age memory actually “fills” up. That’s why a lot of older people don’t try new foods as much. Having said that I’m not there yet but I do the same thing. I don’t shop in stores much because I can’t decide and I spend too much time on one decision. I did that recently and have to return everything. Even worse is packing for a trip. I am on a two night trip where literally the only person I needed to visit was my mother and it took two hours to pack. For two outfits and a coat? And when I got here I realized everything is a shade of grey. Not a single bit of color! AND THEN…I still struggled to decide which grey sweater to wear yesterday!

[benmaise in reply to Blueruth]

Thank you Blueruth. Nice to know someone who has the same problem.😀

[Agora1]

Hi benmaise, looking over your posts from years back, I found you to have high anxiety with health worries. (including worrying about the robin's eggs hatching okay) When our mind is backed with multiple worries on a daily basis, we begin to not trust our own instincts.

More than your age, I think the hesitation in making a decision has more to do with your brain just being too confused by all it's dealing with everyday. My own 30y.o. daughter can't make up her mind about anything. If I ask her a simple question, I rock from one foot to another waiting for the answer. It's like she draws a blank and can't trust herself in deciding.

Hopefully, as you learn to trust yourself, know that you are confident enough to make a wise choice. Use your age in providing you life experience. Keep your brain occupied with positive things each day and not negativity or "what ifs". You can do this. xx

[benmaise in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora 1

[Babe1213]

Hi benmaise, I am just a few weeks short of being 75 now, from Aylesbury in UK. I have been counselling people for many years since 1985. Most of the 'problems' that crop up, I have experienced myself and draw from that experience. It sounds to me like you are a normal 78 year old. As we age our whole lives take on a different set of priorities, this makes us more aware of ourselves, separating our needs from our 'wants'. The question, 'Can I afford it?' will inevitably come to mind. It is no bad thing that you cannot decide. Sadly for us though is that we have become a 'throwaway nation' - - by this, in fashion/clothing we see something we like, want to buy it, but first want to think about it, when we have thought about we go back to the shop, find the item is gone, feel disappointed. Sods law, the 'trend' for the item we wanted has been and gone. So next time we see something we like/want/need, we buy it straight off, then find its not suitable to our needs, we then either have to take back with all the rigmarole of exchange, or put it in our wardrobes. Frustrating or what! Do you have children/grandchildren who can help you shop - my 6 granddaughters aged between 19 - 34, take great delight in clothes shopping with me - doesn't happen very often as I don't clothes shop much - only when I need, but their presence does help me keep my feet on the ground. I also find more mail order ways to shop now when needed, because I can try on in the comfort of my own home. Good to know you are 'bright enough' in other areas, keep up the positives. Please up date us how you are doing.

[benmaise in reply to Babe1213]

Hi Babe 121My daughter is good at advising me. But I still find it hard to finally choose.🤔.

[primrose81]

Hi Benmaise, I am 70 and have always had a problem about making my mind up over most things but I have always had that problem, particularly with clothes - it has to be with catalogues or online with me and then I worry when I order because I am in between sizes sigh it’s all just so frustrating! I know exactly how you feel…

[benmaise in reply to primrose81]

Hi Primrose I'm in between sizes too with clothes. It's a nuisance.