Turning 46....omg: Being 46 and not... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Turning 46....omg

lovedogs51511 profile image

Being 46 and not having the same things as ppl my age should have is depressing. I barely have the basics. I don't even know what to do this year. Living day to day scares me being on disability and only working 11 days a month doesn't leave me enough to survive on. I'm terrified of ever being homeless. I feel lost and have no options to have a better life. I'm depressed and feel ill never ever get a car again. I can't even save money for a car cause I'm paying 15 bucks to take lyft to work. Its 15 bucks to go 4.5 miles!!! Another 15 bucks to go home. Its ridiculous. I totally feel hopeless. The bus doesn't run late at night in this city. The bus here is pathetic. I guess it will be another damn year of nothing but more and more struggles!!! Gee can't wait for that. Sorry everybody life has always been extremely shitty and its the same year after year. I am happy to be working part time and be in this small condo. I like the area I'm in. Still haven't found a rescue dog yet. Maybe that's what's got me down. Just praying I find a good dog who wants love and to be SPOILED!!! Anyhoo, I apologize for the self pity. Just down is all.

43 Replies

Awe sugar... you bring tears to my eyes 😭 I've never been in your shoes and I don't know how heavy that feeling is ☹️ when I get in similar moods, I resort to my phone looking for support or for something to change my mindset like uplifting stories about people helping people, dogs helping people, people helping dogs, animals helping animals... I try to look for things that lift my moods. It can be hard, it can be frustrating, but in the end you might find something that'll help you out. Try going to melrobbins.com and see if that'll help you... I'm not sure if that link will get you there, but I use YouTube a lot because when I go to a website where my families are using quite a lot, it really depresses me. And that's why I use YouTube a lot, for the visual stimulation and the sound stimulation and so forth. I hope this helps sugar, it has helped me through the toughest times. I wish you well, and hope that this new year will bring you much happiness and a life that you've never experienced before...

Thank you hun!!! I appreciate that you took the time to write me. My family won't even call or even care. I feel so worthless! I know its just another day so I guess no big deal. Ill check out that website. I look at silly dogs and their funny personalities. Dogs are extremely funny!!😄😄 I hope your right about this year. I just need a car desperately and family won't help so I'm stuck riding a scooter in the cold weather or taking lyft. Life is crap!! Wish I could have a nice life before I die but not going to happen. Oh well. Hope your doing great in that new home you moved into!!! Thanks again 😊 have a really great night!!

Sending you so many hugs my friend.

Thanks Michael!! Need those hugs!! Sending HUGS back to ya!!!

It IS hard comparing ourselves to others! I can relate for SURE. Here's hoping we can seek strength in who & where we are knowing we are working hard & doing our gosh-darn best. Love & hugs & wishes a dog finds you soon! They can be such sweet creatures of joy!

I'm glad you can relate cause everyone I see is financially stable, have brand new cars, great paying jobs and nice house. I'm in a tiny condo, no car, barely making it day to day. So frustrating!!! I sure hope we both have a better year!! Your totally right....we're doing our best that's all we can do! I went to the shelter with my mom and only one dog available and it was a boxer but barked too much for where I live. Sucks. I just can't wait to find one to be my best friend since I have no friends. But a dog is all I want. Ppl I can do without since they all judge me except you guys on here. That's why I come here cause for once I don't get judged in seconds and ppl instantly hate me. I don't have to say or do anything but ppl still hate my guts so a dog is all I want!!! They are sweet creatures like you said. Nothing but love ❤


This is the lady I wanted to let you know about.... I'm new to following her... I'm hoping she can give you a little bit of help...?

Oh that's great !!!😄 Ill definitely check it out!! Thank you KrazyCase!!

Things can get better. Have you tried finding online work? Are there any church groups in your area? Sometimes they have services for transport or can put you in contact with more affordable services. I don't know where you live ,but besides animal shelters try contacting petfinder.com.

I have looked at petfinder. I still go by the shelter and paws that's close to me. Iv e even looked at Craigslist to save a dog. It may take some time to find one because ppl adopt fast around here. Dogs don't stay in shelters long here. Lots of adoptions going on which is great. I'm in Utah and I'm non Mormon so I'm not close to churches except an LDS church and im definitely staying far away from that!!! Once it warms up I can ride my embarrassing scooter to work and CNA class. Winter has been to chilly to get on that thing! Anyways, just hope things do get better. I can't stand to have one more year of Hell!!! I'm so beyond tired of nothing but negative things in life!!!

I bet its a cute condo? I disagree about most people your age seemingly having "more". Do you really want the same things that everyone else has/wants? Will you be satisfied then?What if you never get it. Will you feel bad for the rest of your life? I just want peace of mind, nourishment and a place to lay my head. I work everyday to manifest it.

It is a cute condo looking out into a resort community. I like That's its on the second level. Iv e always had 1st floor so its nice on 2nd level. Ill never have a house I wish I had cause then I could have an awesome German shepherd not stuck getting small dog. Hope to find a medium sized that will be acceptable under the rules. I wish I could get pit bull but can't here which is bullshit. I'd like a car and I don't mean a new one just an old one that runs and won't break down right away. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Simple things like finding a great rescue and a car would change my life for the good. Paying Lyft 90 bucks to get to work and class is killing me. A car would give me the freedom and ability to get to work. Then I would be satisfied 😄😄

Do you have a humane Society in the area? Salvation Army? I think your wonderful to be going to class to be a CNA. Why should you be embarrassed about riding the scooter.On the contrary, you should be proud of yourself for being determined.

Oh thank you! Your too kind! 😄 I went to the humane society which is a small shelter but only 1 dog there today. A boxer that barks a lot. I'm in a small condo with close neighbors I have to worry about unfortunately. The shelter here is wonderful and adopts out dogs really fast. Same with PAWS! Good adopters for all our rescue dogs. Can't wait to find right one😄😄 Iv e been a caregiver/CNA for years but lost my certification in Vegas a year ago so I'm back in classes to recertify. I'm working right now as just a caregiver until certified at an Alzheimer's unit in an assisted living facility. Can be stressful at times but residents are great. You can get hit a lot like I did last week. Overall its ok. I'm having serious learning and memory problems so not so sure I can even pass the class to be certified. I should join in with living with the residents!!!😄😄😄 I can't believe the frustration I have with trying to learn and comprehend even the simplest things. Memory is almost gone completely!😳😬 I'm rambling sorry. Thanks for writing and saying such nice things!! Hope your doing great!!!

Don't give up. I have a feeling you will pass. I am placing you on my morning prayer list for two things: you pass your test and you find your dog.

Oh thank you so much!!! I need all the prayers I can get!!😄 Hope you have a great night. Prayers for you too froggymom88!!!!

Thank you. We can all use prayers.

Find a dog! It will make all the difference in your life.

I totally agree!! I'm praying hard to find the right dog that can live in a small condo. Dogs get adopted so fast here in this city. Shelters here do really great things for our rescues!!!

I have 5 rescues that I got off the street. Each one is an angel in my life. Good Luck!

Nice!! That's so cool!!! Rescues make the best dogs!! Hope you have a great day!

Thanks so much!

I’m down too and I hear you my beautiful friend. I am in a anxious/depression state because I’m just feeling scared and alone...I own no home, I do own two cars but no job but I’ve got a beautiful dog... there’s always someone who has it better and someone who has it worse... hang I there I wish I could help. ❤️

Txnut60 profile image
Txnut60 in reply to Starrlight

Text me anytime!

Thanks Starr! Life is going worse by the day!! 😭😭 Now my work only scheduled me for four days next month. Ill never get a car! I'm hopeless and do not want to live anymore!!! So I know depression way to well. Hope you feel better too!

hope you find loverly dog.dont worry about self pitty,you are just saying how it is,hope

things change for you.me and my late sister allways had peekenese,,we had 6 at one

time.they are lovely dogs,we would put 6 food trays for them.peeks decied who eats first

and will sit watching while he finishes,then rush for their food,its wonderfull to watch.when we went to bed as soon as lights out they whould run round the house,playing,if you switched lights on quick all would be asleep,we never court them

at it but could here them playing.sadly have no dog now,so you have one for me and enjoy.

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to

Thank you! I hope to find great dog too. I'm alone so it will be nice to find best friend again!! Those dogs seem pretty silly😄😄 Hope you can find a furry friend too🐾🐾🐾 they are great company and each dog has such a funny personality!!!

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Kacey, happy birthday to you! I still love you and sure do miss you!

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to

Thank you thank you bestie!!!! How nice of you😄😄 your so SWEET Lisa!!! You made my week😊😊 hope your doing GREAT!! Love you!!

Happy birthday, pretty blue eyed girl! You don’t look a day over 26!!!!! In the wise words of mama anxiety, make it shine!!!!!! I love you girlie!!!! Xoxoxo

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to

Thank you also!!! Very kind of you!! 26 lol silly!!! Cracked me up 😄😄😄 Just going to lunch with my parents! That will be nice. Love you too 😄😄😊 Hope your doing GREAT!!!!!

lovedogs, JANUARY 18TH is a special day I couldn't forget.

Happy Birthday my friend. Time to celebrate with your virtual

family. Love you x Best Wishes in the coming year :) xx

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply to Agora1

Omg thank you so very much!! Your too SWEET!!😄 Best wishes to you too for your special day!! Do anything exciting for your day? I'm just going to lunch with parents which will be nice. I love you too!! Thanks again!! Made my day😄😊

Heyyy at 44 I hear you. I am jobless, no permanent residence, childless, and I just came back from my mom’s wake who I was not talking to even though her last messages to me were both I love and miss you, I feel like the lowest of lows.

At the wake I saw a cousin I had not seen in over 25 years. Her and my mother connected over the past 7 years during the time in which my cousin was diagnosed with a life threatening illness. She told me that there are days where she can’t deal with other people’s complaints. That she thinks if I with my illness am able to walk around with a smile on my face how much can I see others so sad.

As a chronic anxiety suffer and a person who voices most of my complaints big and small I was so amazed by her courage and wisdom. She was strong and her presence radiated, “ I am here” I think to myself quite often my problems are here but I’m somewhere in the background behind them. I have no choice now to change that dynamic. It will be me first and my problems second.

I see you as a success. You are 46 and have a place to live. You have the courage to find a way to travel and work part time with a disability. You are honest with your emotions and are able to write about how you feel to other anxiety sufferers.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Tikirob

((((((((Tikirob)))))))) Hug for ya

Tikirob profile image
Tikirob in reply to Starrlight

Thanks, needed that!

You betcha! Did you see the blood wolf moon in NYC?

Yes I did it was incredible. It was a very quiet night I wrote a journal about it:

The moon was dark red with a kite string in the opposite end of two stars. Clouds hovered low in less familiar shapes as if they were cuddling. It was cold and gusty and the quietest night in the city. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Manhattan. It was four subway stops away but with quiet dark thoughts it seemed like Connecticut. I prayed and talked to God and wished away at the lunar eclipse hoping to become clairvoyant. Faith was in the dark spots of the marooned craters amongst the slight glow of under lit rust. I put my thoughts and prayed for my mom. A lone geese’s ‘squawk’ then came out from the connected apartments. With opera glasses I tried to see if there was a lost squadron behind it ( but the birds were unlit). I prayed one more time hoping to leave the vibe of the blood moon in such a way I could have peace with the rest of the night. I was the only one awake on the world for that moment. So I went inside with my face frozen to try and go to sleep.

Thank you tikirob!! I totally feel ya!! I feel so much like you!! Aren't you still in your apt? That's all I have too. I finally have a car now which will help me go get different job since the Mormon clique at work are pushing me out at work right now. Ppl said that's what typically will happen here in Utah. If your non Mormon they will not accept you. The 20 year olds I work with are in a clique and refuse to help or talk to me at work. So now I can do homecare and get away from the evil ppl at my current work!! I'm so sorry your feeling like you do cause I've felt exactly the same way,for 45 years!!! Lower than pond scum all my life and still do but I struggle to feel any better than pond scum. Ill say prayers for your cousin. I agree with ya about how others feeling so sick with an illness but hold it together but I guess I just complain to much and shouldn't cause there's always somebody hurting or feeling worse! Hugs tikirob!!! Thanks for your sharing!! 💗😊😄✌

Happy happy birthday beautiful friend!!!!!!!!! I am wishing you moments of smiles joy peace and more peace.

Thank you Starr!! I got an older car from parents they got me for my bday!! Ill still make payments but all I wanted was there help to get into a cheap older car to go find different job. I'm beyond grateful and so very happy I don't have to ride that damn scooter anymore!!! Hugs!!!

happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear lovedogs happy birthday to you. hip hip hooray hip hip hooray.have a special day you deserve it.

Hugs to you thank you I'm smiling!! Big smile! Thanks kenster1!! Parents got me an older car that looks pretty nice for how old it,is. So grateful!!! Hope you have an awesome day kenster1!!!😄😄

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