sad 😢

This is really getting to me. I went to a family members funeral on Saturday and while I was there, people came up to me telling me about how disappointed my mother is that I don’t have any children. She really wants grandchildren and it seems as if she’ll pass away without having the experience of a grandparent. I can’t express how hurt and humiliated I am.. 💔

[Hidden]

They meant well but shouldn't have said that to you.

It's not your job to meet all of your mother's expectations.

As the byproduct of parents who had me when they were definitely not ready, I can say take all the time you need - even if that means you never want to have kids. Your mother may not like it, but she'll still love you.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I understand but it’s just the fact that she’s been talking to so many people about it. I almost lost my father this year on my birthday and my mother came out of the blue and said “how would you feel if he had passed away and you never gave him grandchildren?” That stung. Really hard. I would love to have kids but i would have to meet the right guy first. This is exhausting 😪

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yikes, that shouldn't have happened to you either. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your father's near death experience.

You're doing the right thing by not forcing a family. Wishing you the best of luck in your search for Mr. Right - even if he's not right now ☮️❣️

[Bluedoglady]

no one should say that to you and I am sorry they lack to understand having a child is not a decision that should be taken lightly. Remember you are living for yourself and not your parents or other family members. I’m sorry your family isn’t showing you respect or empathy. At the end of the day the way you live your life is truly yours to choose and I support your decision to wait till you find a good partner.

[Hidden in reply to Bluedoglady]

that means a lot. Thank you for your kind words and understanding.

[OrangeCountry]

I agree with Bluedoglady, no one should have even thought of making that comment to you. I find that so disrespectful towards you, and I am so sorry that you had to experience it! I support your decision to wait as well. You are the only person that knows when the time is right, and you've got to do what makes you happy.

[Hidden in reply to OrangeCountry]

thaaaaank you so much 💝

[hypercat54]

I would have a word with your mother and ask her not to do that as it makes you feel uncomfortable.

When relations ask you either just change the subject or try and laugh it off. Or ask them instead why don't they have more or something similar.

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

I’ve told her not to do that before. I just gave yo do it again I suppose

[Oshunlvr]

I think that is absolutely terrible of your mom to do that to you. You should not feel bad at all. We cannot live our lives for others, that's why some of us are here. We worry about what others want more than what we want. You will know when you're ready/not ready, if you want/ don't want, if you can/ cannot have kids.This is a touchy subject for me because we both had infertility problems and couldn't have kids. I was extremely private at the time and didn't share it with family. After I started to tell the closest about it, It gave me great pleasure to see the looks on people's face when they asked about children and I responded that we couldn't. Talk about embarrassment! You could see them trying to slide under the table!!

Don't put up with that Behavior.

[Hidden in reply to Oshunlvr]

you’re absolutely right. I confronted her about it but of course she denied ever saying that. But I don’t believe her not one but because she’s said it multiple time before and others have approached me before about the same thing because she has spoken to them about it as well.

[WickNeo]

Shame on your mom and shame on those family members for disrespecting you and your deceased relative at a funeral.

I’m not sure I could be polite enough to just stare at them as if they had two heads while walking away rather than screaming go away. My typical response is to be blunt and say, “That’s none of your business.”

I’m sorry you had to experience that.

[Hidden in reply to WickNeo]

thanks… I’m using that line next time. It’s none of their business for sure

[PurpleOstrich]

Blow them off. As someone who didn’t find a person soon I know how it stings, but remember they are COMPLETELY out of line and rude to make that comment to you. Not worth giving any energy to. It’s your life and they don’t know anything about your personal anything and have no right to make a personal comment like that.