It's my Mothers birthday tomorrow and i was asking if/when she was around. She said she was but added "whys that?"Now my initial thought was, has she forgotten what tomorrow is? Is she playing games?
She said it would be nice to meet and that she wanted to see how many people remembered and this is what got to me.
And i said the way she went about it wasnt okay. Did i overreact and jump to assumptions here?
But she later went on to say, she didn't want to mention to tomorrow to anyone and when i ask if she purposely didnt want to mention to anyone that tomorrow was her birthday just to see if people remembered she said no, it was more to see if people bothered and how in the last 3 years she recieve few cards.
Now obviously theres more to why she feels the way she feels and to some degree i can understand but all the above really doesn't feel okay with me and i said if she can't see an issue how she dealt with today, then thats a big issue and all she said was "not an issue to others. My own stuff"
I feel as if i might of jumped and overreacted here but if i did, the underlying reason why is the big issue here.
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Shanm2
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When you get there you may get it or you may be surrounded by people that remember your b day and throw a big party every year. But mostly the only time I see unsolicited happy b-day messages is on Facebook and I am not on Facebook anymore. It is nice that you remembered. i'm sure she appreciates it. I wouldn't make a deal of it... it sucks to get old.
Are you saying you consider yourself old, Blueruth? If you are, that means I’m writing to you from the grave. People your age are still babes to me. 😁When I was your age I was a babe.
Thank you Blueruth for your reply, it made me look at it differently and i'm sorry if you have felt this way. Getting old is scary but as i understand it, lonely too. As it is my Mother and i relationship has been strained for along time and i think this contributed to my above statement. I hope you are doing okay today best wishes
it doesn’t have to be lonely. I presented some of the negatives but if you can be healthy in your 60s you are young enough to make a whole new, less expensive life anywhere including a nomad life which has a whole community of like minded folks. They range in age from 40s-80s(!). By then you probably don’t have dependents so you only have to choose who you want to be around. That’s the good news. If your mom starts choosing new friends and environments support her!
Btw, most mother and daughter relationships are fraught for some length of time. Mine has been. I moved in fact. Keep and open mind. She is lucky to have you.
I don’t know your mothers age, but I do know as we age and at some point we feel neglected or marginalized. It’s important to be remembered at any age. She’s your mom, it’s her birthday, placate her a little.
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best wishes 
I'm so frustrated rn. How am i supposed to heal with a family like that? 
Update/checking in
Today's my birthday and no one remembered.
My mother’s birthday tomorrow 
