Please be mindful with your words

I was just sitting in my kitchen having a cup of coffee and my apartment was completely quiet. My guests left early this morning so I'm home alone and didn't even bother to turn on the TV because I know all I'll hear is about all the crap that has happened in New York and my surrounding area. Not a day goes by where you don't hear about a shooting or a subway attack. So sometimes I'll sit here quietly, have my coffee and stare out the window to the trees. But then my mind starts to "travel". It often travels through time like a defective time machine..... Okay, so I'll get to the point before I lose you (LOL!). My thoughts today were about "words" and the power they can posses. Words can very often make or break the person on the receiving end. Why?, why are words so powerful. Why is it that our minds have the ability to absorb words like a war-time poisonous gas. Of course we also have the ability to deflect painful words like a bullet proof vest but for some of us that "vest" is not enough or doesn't exist. We can spend a lifetime mending the damage that words can cause. Many years ago I worked as a volunteer with abused and neglected children (before I was diagnosed with depression) and I learned a great deal about words and the power behind them. Many children where never victims of physical abuse, instead they were victims of psychological abuse caused by words. Not just words from strangers or insignificant people, but from loved ones. From people who were supposed to care and protect them. As a man in his 50's I have always had a difficult time mending the damage I suffered from "words", or as I often call it.... "word shrapnel". My mother, although she died at a very young age, was very physically abusive with my brother and I. We would get beatings for the slightest mishaps. But I don't think about those beatings too often. I've been too busy in life trying to remove the "shrapnel" still lodged in my heart from all the "word grenades'". If I had one wish, it would be to give the gift of mindfulness to each and every one of us who often forget the great power behind words when we interact with our children. Especially when we have to discipline them. So there you have it my friends, my thoughts while sitting here drinking coffee. "The tongue like a sharp knife... Kills without drawing blood.”.... Buddha

[Roxylox]

Very true, all of that.

[Hb2003]

that is very true 🙏

[Dolphin14]

The Buddha had it right. This is so true

I agree 100%

🐬

[Mrspjsmom]

What a wonderful post! I have my share of word shrapnel that still pops up. But I tried to be very careful with my children. They are 33 and 29 now and I have never told them to "shut up". Instead I used the words "be quiet". When I was a child every time my mother told me to shut up it really bothered me. I felt like I didn't matter and was being dismissed. I never wanted them to feel that way.

[Hidden in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Telling a child to"shut up" especially when you do it in a public setting where the child may be especially embarrassed can be such a horrible thing. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a supermarket or some other public place when you often hear a parent tell a child to "shut up"!! I will always immediately look at the facial reaction of a child and you can instantly see the pain and embarrassment in the child's eyes. Always breaks my heart to no end. And if you dare stand up to defend that child, it turns out to be a bad day for everyone. My son is now 27 and will soon celebrate his 28th birthday. Although I have never put my hands on him as a child, in order to discipline, I have certainly thrown my fair share of word grenades at him. I'm sure this is, at least in part, why we haven't spoken in over 3 years. Every time I witness a parent berate a child I see my son's face, every single time. And every single time I have to bite my tongue and hide my tears. Thanks for your comments, and thank you for understanding

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Hidden]

I was really glad to read your post. People don't realize they should choose their words carefully. Or they are so wrapped up in their own stress they snap and don't notice their children's reaction. I've seen it too. Breaks my heart.

[Hidden]

Good post. I try to be mindful of what I say and think before I speak, but if I’m getting very angry or nervous about something well then there’s times I’ve said things that were better left unsaid. I try to apologize but sometimes there’s words you can’t take back. And honestly we can’t always censor ourselves. There are times when it’s actually a good thing to be rather stern and angry if you’re trying to stand up for yourself or set some boundaries. Being nice doesn’t always help you be heard.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're absolutely right..... some bells can't be un-rung

[Barleythere]

Thank you for sharing, and you are so right. I wouldn't like to share all of my stories, but I will say that I never understood that rhyme that kids would say... sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me. I would think that's a bunch of crap. I always thought I would rather get switches, beatings and such, those last about a wek to 2 months. I do remember some of those. Not as much as all the words I have been called through my childhood to my adulthood.