Hanging on edge of a cliff again 🙄

hello ive reached the final process in my house sale aftee the wait on surveys etc now the ordeal on news about mortgage lenders backing out more trauma and its set my emotional well being back and aftee a week of no alcohol i ended up javing a few drinks 🙄so i realise im not cured or normal and need AA support group anyone else turns to drink with anxiety be nice to here from you 🙄🌟i have to stay well for my cat pixiebob

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Yes it's really awful news - both my son and daughter are in the process of buying houses and don't know how this will affect them - yes both at the same time can you believe it. I know what you mean about hitting the bottle, am having a tipple now. Thinking of you xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

thank you 🤗🌟

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The news gets you depressed doesnt it?

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They are 32 and 34. Son and family due to get evicted and have found a house, just waiting on the mortgage to be approved

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

We have been threatened with being evicted here as well and so has a colleague who had cried as she was frightened!

We have put in a homeless application to the city council who told us to stay put until we find something else ourselves or we get evicted by the courts.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

oh poor you. Good luck with everything. Landlord changing use: wants more people in and to charge more. is the way it's going now.

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They said to us they want us out for redevelopment as well!

Earlier on i spoke to one of our friends who has been through this who says it takes ages to evict through the legal procedure.

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Fingers crossed for you

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What I feel is the best way forward is to take things a step at a time.

This afternoon at 1pm we have a viewing at a place in Canton which might be the one so fingers crossed!

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

Redevelopment plans can take ages, too. Everything has slowed down now, not just the NHS.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I ccaccanccaccantccaccanccaccant

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

TTyTTypTTyTTypi

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

With respect to the health service they were never very efficient even when times were good!

[Arymretep]

Hang on in there M, you can do this 😘

[Hidden in reply to Arymretep]

hi M thanks theres only so much one can take, but kinda good news my buyer said been in touch with her lenders they said wil honour it, well they can change mind any time, xx

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If all the news does is upset you switch it off and walk away!

Earlier on today myself and my friends said how much of life is beyond our control like us getting evicted is a situation thats beyond our control but we do control our behaviour towards it like making time to look for places every day and the city council is helping us as well.

[aequitas1983]

Be kind to yourself in regards to the drinking. It takes time, support, and always your own desire. We can want to not drink....but I failed several times before I ever pulled away. I would do well for a bit and then fall back to it. The important part is getting back on the sobriety horse and going back to achieving Day 1 and onward. Let each and everyday be a huge achievement. Whether it's Day 1 or Day 430. Meanwhile, I think it's important to find what would be a huge help to keeping you on that path. I think identifying the moments between stress and the drink.....having a game plan. "When I feel emotionally stressed, instead of reaching for alcohol, I'll go grab a relaxing tea to sip and forget about everything that's outside of my control." Just an example sentence. Even then, if only a few drinks, I wouldn't be so harsh on yourself. Tomorrow is another day to be free of drinking....and then again the day after....on and on. Make those days add up. Something that made a lot of difference for me were mocktails or NA beers. I had a few moments where I thought to myself, "Oh, I better stop drinking....I have work tomorrow." And that was a great moment....because I wasn't drinking any alcohol....the drinks just had that taste that satiated the mind's want for a drink. So maybe it's the sensations (fizziness in some of those drinks) that can help.

I also find that documenting my drinking and non-drinking days helped. When I began my cessation, I would write down the days I drank and the days I didn't. I would write down how many drinks I had (and since I was quitting....it was far less than my "bad drinking" times). Just because you drank today.....the days you didn't drink prior and the days you won't drink going forward....let's say another week.....that's one day out of 15. That's pretty darn good and I think focusing more on the success (14 days) rather than the slip up (1 day) is way more important. Celebrate the good....really immerse in that. When we feel good, our brain chemicals reflect that. I would also always have the NA options available (they make NA wine, beer, and spirits....the spirits are less than desirable that I've found...the beer and wine are actually great to good) to reach for first. See if that meets your needs over having a stocked alcoholic option around.

My advice might not reflect what programs such as Celebrating Recovery or AA reflect, but it is what has worked for me. Each of us will have something that works better. But I will say I think you should cut yourself a little slack for a slip up. You saw your slip up, you spoke about it, you want to do better.....that's all good progress. Keep it up! Personally speaking, I think you're doing a great job.

[Hidden in reply to aequitas1983]

hello again, thanks so much great advice, i had chamomile tea yesterday morning and this morning, ill relex more when my house sale goes through, luckily my buyers assured me her lender is still honouring it, my heart was pounding when i woke still worrying tho about other things, it came in my head to go swimming and get health foccussed again, ill start it up again, ill get the monthly pass then ill make myself go regular to get my moneys worth like i did last winter lol 😁ive got lot stuff to move out my house so that will keep me busy i have 3 weeks, its not easy for me to get alcohol in now i live with mam i told her last week ive stopped drinking so dont want to disapoint her, once my house goes ill have no where to go to drink either so that be better, ill do deep breathing and try be positive and trust in fate, i think its the sugar in the non alcohol beer thats a comfort ill get some in then i can turn to that, as well as the tea, 😁🤗

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

One lesson i have learned is that theres no point in upsetting myself over things that are beyond my control and i prioritise my fights nowadays as well and not that much is worth starting a fight over is what i have discovered.

Today myself and my sister in law went to that viewing in Canton at 1pm and i have put an offer in saying i am interested and i feel if the place is for me it wont go by me!

We enjoyed lunch out at a chinese there as well.

Baby is well and sends her best to Prince Pixie!

[Itzallgood1]

Just make sure you gave everything in writing from the banks. Hope your sale goes thru without a hitch 🙂

[Hidden in reply to Itzallgood1]

Thats a valuable lesson i have learned is when things are promised get them in writing!

[Itzallgood1 in reply to Hidden]

Me too unfortunately

[MaggieSylvie]

Twinklystar, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I don't think there is anything you can do about the property process. Just sit tight and get yourself distracted, hopefully without alcohol. We are all in a horrendous stew here in the UK, especially if not yet retired. Certainly, something has to happen but it is pretty much out of our hands. I hope your sale continues to go through. That will be your first stage, and I seem to remember that you are not in a tearing hurry to take it to the next stage. For many people it will be a case of resetting their wish lists. You ARE normal - don't think you aren't. You just don't really get on with alcohol. At least if you head off to your local AA, you will have the company of others who may be in a similar position, which should help with what you must be feeling now. And have lots of cuddles with Pixie.🤗🤗🤗

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

What i do is tell myself how theres more struggling than not which helps and take steps to help myself like making the homeless application a few weeks ago and they got in contact this afternoon to confirm the appointment on 12 October and to ask me can i send in more information for them which i have done which is in my control.

Today myself and my sister in law went to that viewing in Canton and turned it into a nice day out and we had a chinese at a place there called the Happy Gathering which we both enjoyed and a walk around Llandaff fields which was nice and i have put in an offer on the place and said im interested and just waiting for them to come back to me which is out of my hands now.

I feel if the place is for me it wont go by me!

I have booked to go swimming on Saturday at 1pm which is another nice thing to look forward to!

Legal procedures like getting evicted were never exactly efficient even when times were good.

With me what i find is sitting at home doesnt help matters and i feel better getting out and about even if its just to the local park.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

Yes, it's best to keep active, particularly to set things in place for making the progress you want. I hope it all goes well for you.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I do feel strongly that if its for thee it wont go by thee!

With those places i never got a couple of weeks ago when i look back i feel not getting them was a blessing in disguise now i have had time to think things through.

One of them was at a gated development called Adventurers Quay in Cardiff Bay that we went to and it didnt work out but we werent upset over it though as I had heard stories that their management company are bankrupt so i feel by accident not getting that one was a blessing in disguise.

There was a place on Whitchurch Road we had gone to which we lost out on and i was disappointed but now time has gone by i feel that was a blessing in disguise as well as i wouldnt have been happy there!

One of my friends feels how when things dont happen its a blessing in disguise and often when you look back yes it is!