New and looking for support

[Pinkpencil]

Long story short, my mom died nearly two years ago and the GAD and depression I suffered from before she died is worse. I take Prozac and just recently started Abilify and sometimes I feel like I'm on a different planet. I'm in college and I have a hard time making friends due to the fact that I get so anxious, so I feel even more paranoid about everyone hating me and stuff like that.

I just get so frustrated because I just want to be 'normal', whatever that means, and have friends and enjoy my youth while I have it but I feel like I'm losing it to depression and anxiety and my family isn't super supportive. There have been times when I feel like I've recovered and I feel confident and good about myself but I guess this is just a slump I'm in. It feels bad regardless.

I want to meet people who feel the same way I do, so that I don't feel so alone.

[redrabbitniner]

Hey there! Be patient with yourself. My Dad died over one year ago and it can still be hard. Grief is not linear and can touch us for many years. College can be challenging too! Therapy, focusing on school and creating some fun and down time would all be good goals!! Give yourself some grace and try to be patient!!

[CindyKatherine]

Hello Pinkpencil, I can relate to your situation. I lost my dad in 2020 and it was terrible—prior and post-experience. I sometimes do think of how different and sweeter life could have been with him being here. Also, seeing my mom all by herself sometimes calls forth pitying thoughts for her. But, is it not distressing too to me? But, I am obliged and must take care of my mom which is my chief responsibility. And, for my dad, I still do miss him but what can I do now, I must continue without him. I admit it is sometimes stressful when the thoughts come but I try not to dwell there too long. I do force my mind. It is with painstaking effort, prayer, and meditation.

I wish you all the best.

Stay peaceful.

[designguy]

Hello and welcome. You might check with a counselor at your school to see if they can recommend a therapist who uses group therapy as part of their therapy. Being in a group can be helpful in sharing and realizing how "normal" you really are and how others deal with issues. Another thing to consider is that you might actually be suffering from social anxiety disorder and possibly low-self-esteem you can find out more about it on youtube. If it fits for you you would do well to find a therapist that specifically treats it and work with them. A lot of times they will incorporate group and exposure therapy in to it. Your school counselor might also be able to recommend a social anxiety therapist.