New and looking for support

[Bambi1985]

Hello everyone. I've been suffering with anxiety for about 4 years now and was finally actually diagnosed with it recently. I hope to find some support here as there aren't many people in my life who understand what I'm going through, they just think I'm being dramatic. I'm so tired of being scared everyday that something is wrong with me as my anxiety tends to center around my health even though nothing has been found that's wrong so far besides having a bout of BPPV (vertigo). I hope to compare stories and symptoms and try to find some comfort. So it's nice to be here with you all, I'm sorry for everyone experiencing all this crap, it sucks.

[TheFightGoesOn]

I can't say that I'm going through BPPV as you are.

I do suffer from anxiety pretty badly, however. Have been for a pretty long time too. It's not easy.

There are moments where I honestly feel that my heart is going to literally just fly out of my chest & I'm never going to breathe. That I'm going to completely drown.

Especially this past few days. A lot has been going on. Even when I know that I really can't just walk away because I have a small child at home, I find a way to be able to. I find something for her to do just so that I can take a step away just so that I can try to come up for that breath of air that I really need. If I don't & if I didn't, I don't know if I would (would've) been able to do anything else that day.

I gave my toddler some computer time while I step outside onto my deck, just where I was still able to see her but still able to be alone where she could not me have the meltdown that I needed to have. I was able to come up for air & just let it all flow out into one great big wave of crying. I had to. It was pent up for a very long time.

Sometimes the things we take to ease & the little things we do to manage it doesn't always work & we do need that one meltdown just for us to be able to not drown & suffocate ourselves to death from so much anxiety build-up.

Maybe you do need that one day for yourself. It does make you feel better. Coming here does help too. Even if you don't get to find the exact person to relate completely with you. They are hard to come by. I've been searching too. There's a lot that I need relating with actually. At least we might be able to meet someone who can at least relate to the actual feelings we have that come with the anxiety.

I do hope that something comes to mind to help. If not that one big meltdown for yourself, maybe just writing until everything you feel is out on paper or computer screen. Listening to music to relate to it. Drawing. Reading a book to escape to a whole new world just for you. Anything, something, an outlet just for you alone. And most important, deep, long, in & out breathing.

I'll be thinking of you, hoping that something or someone will be able to help. Good luck & please, feel better soon.

[Hidden]

Have you ever tried medication?

[Bambi1985 in reply to Hidden]

No, it has too many side effects and I don't want to be on something long term.

[Hidden in reply to Bambi1985]

I know many people that got no side affects from lexepro

[Bambi1985 in reply to Hidden]

Oh okay, I'll read into it. Thanks