Constantly Crying and Overwhelmed

[sparkle557]

Hi,

I’m a 21 year old student and have started my pharmacy placement in August. I never worked in a pharmacy before and had no prior knowledge so it’s a new situation for me. I’m on a 6mth placement before I go back to uni in Jan.

Ever since starting I have been constantly crying (even at work which the manager is getting a bit annoyed at and so is the pharmacist) and at home too. I can’t sleep well I’ve been living off 3/4 hours a sleep a day since august and even on my weekends off I can’t sleep and I’m constantly worrying about the Monday at work.

I have no idea what to do. I can’t afford therapy and due to family reasons I don’t really want to speak to a dr. As I write this it’s a Saturday 6 am and I’m awake- when really I should be having a lie in and catching up on sleep.

At first it was the thoughts of finishing at 6pm which is non negotiable but it makes me feel like I don’t have much time when I get home and the day starts over way too quickly. The manager has had a word with me and has said my attitude is not great as I’m always “rushing” and “excited” to go home before the day is even over. But can you blame me? If something is making you feel overwhelmed, you’re obviously going to rush to your comfort place.

I really need to get through these 6 months to be able to pass my degree and need to get signed off so I need to work hard and collect evidences.

The real question is will this get better? How do I stop myself from hating work to changing my mindset to a positive one Bcs rn it feels impossible. I have nobody to talk to even though everyone says they’re here for you ….they don’t truly understand you.

Even the manager says we’re here for you but are they really…Bcs they don’t understand how I feel and why I feel like this.

Somebody please help Bcs I feel like

I can’t go on

[Call_me_anything]

Yes, it will get better

[sparkle557 in reply to Call_me_anything]

🥺🥺

[Call_me_anything in reply to sparkle557]

Trust me! I can predict future. I have predicted it many times with complete accuracy. I'm not kidding, I'm serious. And I can feel very strongly that your situation is going to get better very soon

[sparkle557 in reply to Call_me_anything]

That means a lot thank you so much!

[Call_me_anything in reply to sparkle557]

How's it going?

[samanthananda in reply to Call_me_anything]

That is very sweet of you to tell someone

[Stippler]

Hello sparkle557 - I hope what I say is ok, I want to draw on my experience. It may be your situation is totally different than mine. You said for family reasons you cannot see a doctor. I felt that way when I was in college. I was having more than my share of emotional problems but I did not want to go to a psychiatrist because it would cause trouble with my family. They had health insurance for me, it would have been covered, but I refused to see a doctor, much less go inpatient. But I really seriously needed help. As I got older, my troubles came along with me. Eventually I had to realize my mental health was more important than my family's pride was. I have been seeing a psychiatrist ever since, and I now have most of my family's support. I don't have to talk with my family members who disapprove of this. If this is what you are concerned about, hopefully this helps. I am not at all saying this is your situation; but it was mine. I hope I am not making presumptions by sharing this with you because that was not my intent. Sending my best wishes.

[sparkle557 in reply to Stippler]

Hi, thanks for replying. Ofc and thank you for sharing. It’s more that my family don’t believe in mental health being sorted out by medication and I guess in this scenario medicine can’t really help me Bcs it’s more about my mindset and not adjusting to the environment fast enough.

However, in the UK finding free therapy is so difficult right now so going to the doctors is kind of useless too. Especially in a case like this where the doctors will probably just laugh and say you just need time to adjust.

Thank you x

[Hidden]

I just wanted to say that maybe this job is just not a good fit for you. Doesn’t sound like a pleasant work environment. How much longer are you planning on working there? Could you possibly try to find another job? And I would let your family know the stress you are under. They should try to be understanding in some capacity.

[sparkle557 in reply to Hidden]

Hi so this is a pharmacy pre Reg placement so I don’t have a choice on where to go but I’m only here for 6 months. If I’m honest the staff are very kind and they’re nice to work with it’s just that everyone’s kind of fed up that I’ve not adjusted as quickly. And obv pharmacy is a very hard core environment and they want me to start making progress in terms of my training and education which is kind of difficult as I’m always upset or not fully enjoying it at the moment.

My family come from a ethnic minority and my dad has had to work hard for everything in life. So me struggling at work to him may just sound like I’m being lazy and want the easy way out. I think he does understand that I’m finding it difficult to adapt because I was letting him know that I can’t sleep well. He told me to stop thinking about work when you are at home and just focus on your time to wind down and relax but it’s a little difficult as work is constantly on my mind and acts like a trigger for my crying 🥲.

[Hidden in reply to sparkle557]

Well I’m so sorry that is what you’re going through. I’m not sure what to say. Try to take one day at a time.

[Agamemnon2022]

You might try 15 mins or so of deep breathing meditation when getting home from work. I have a friend who's a vet and has the same problem when she gets home from work [she's fine at work]. Maybe you could build a pattern for when you get home. She immediately walks the dogs [getting her and the dogs some exercise, which helps with sleeping]. Then she mentally relaxes by playing her electric piano. Next she cooks dinner and lays in bed or on the couch for about an hour and then goes lights out. Just an idea.