I’m 20 and just had a baby and my boyfriend makes me feel like a bad mother

[FtpE]

I know it’s not intentional but words definitely hurt. He makes me feel like I have no clue what I’m doing. Or like I’m hurting my baby. It’s hurts because I love my baby so much I would never hurt her or let her cry. But she wants to be carried constantly and when he’s not around I have to get things done so I have to put her down. The other day I put her down in her bassinet and she began to cry but I was cooking and cleaning and pumping milk. My boyfriend gets home and looks at me. He gave me this look like he was disgusted with me. And said “seriously?!? You just have her fucking crying there” I never thought being a mom would make me feel so lonely.

[compasnet]

I'm sorry but in all due respect to him, YOU sound like a GREAT MOM to me!

[FtpE in reply to compasnet]

thank you honestly you have no clue how much I needed to hear that

[compasnet in reply to FtpE]

YOU're welcome. ...honestly, you deserve it. 🫂(((FtpE and the baby)))🫂

[Genuineguy in reply to FtpE]

Yes, I agree too. You sound like a really lovely mum. His words wouldnt hurt you so much if you weren't a good mum. 🌸🌷🌺

[Dolphin14]

Congratulations on you baby Welcome to motherhood. It's a tough job to take care of a baby and keep a household going. I was a mom at 20 also.

If he walks in the door and says the baby is crying tell him to pick the baby up. Instead of criticizing you he should get his hands right in there.

You are doing a wonderful job It takes time to learn to juggle things. One thing I did was use one of those front carriers you put them in... the name escapes me.,, I was able to get some things done carrying her around.

You got this

🐬

[Hidden]

so I totally understand where hes coming from, but what you learn quickly as a new parent is that babies will cry, and sometimes you just have to let them cry themselves out. You cant be right there 24/7 its just impossible and the child has to get used to that. Or get a carrier so you can walk around with her.

Also tell him next time he doesn't have to yell, there will be plenty of that in the future. Both of you are learning. 20 is young

[catsrock]

You sounds like an amazing mom. He needs to spend some hours alone taking care of the baby so he gets how hard it is.

[Midori]

Your answer should be ' Well, you are here now; you can look after her while I get on with the cooking and cleaning! I haven't been sitting down all day!'

Parenthood is a partnership, both parents should be involved with the care.

Personally, I would not bother with cooking his meal to be ready for him to come home, he can make it himself, or order in, it if he's going to be an AH.

I see it as the first red flag, demeaning you like that. It could be that he's feeling a little jealous of the baby, as she will be taking attention from him.

Keep your eyes open for more red flags, demeaning you is a classic AH move. I had a husband like that, and it only gets worse if you don't set rules.

Cheers, Midori

[Tara52]

its been a long time since I have had an infant to care for but I wore one of those "snugglies" and put my baby in that as I did my housework. It worked out real well. Just a suggestion. BTW you are a very good mom.👍💕