Misscarrige not over 4 month on

[Afrohair]

I lost my baby in September and I’m finding myself getting really upset lately over seeing other babies I can’t even look at them and today I was in hospital about a health condition and it’s where unfortunately for me pregnant women are and there also put together with people who have lost their babies on the other side is my unit gynaecology.today I saw two happy mums walking out with their pregnancy packs one walk out crying and I really felt for her cause I saw a bit of a bump so knew it was to do with a baby then went to sit for a coffee 4 medical staff and one showing her friends new baby off on her mobile but it was practically flaunted in my direction I didn’t know where to look just put my head down in dispair my mum saw look on my face then she started talking about someone else’s baby it’s difficult for me cause my mums got an illness called dementia and every time I tell her I don’t like talking about babies she forgets that I lost my baby or says it stops hurting soon well it hasent stopped it still hurts and I have children so I’m sorry if it offends anyone but people with children still hurt if they loose a baby it doesn’t hurt any less and would really appreciate not to be stigmatised and classed as being ungrateful i just want a moan then I’ll be ok for a bit ❤️

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[Booklover0219]

I think it must be quite normal to feel so sad and lost right now. I’m so very sorry. You’ve suffered a deeply terrible loss and I can understand why you are still grieving. Do you have access to grief counseling?

[Afrohair in reply to Booklover0219]

I had someone call me at one point but since then I’ve had nothing I think because a few months have passed now x

[cecelia66]

You've suffered a great loss. Your'e grieving and it's perfectly normal to be feeling everything you do. Unfortunately when it comes to miscarriage a lot of people have that "just get over it" attitude, but that's their lack of sensitivity. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. There's no timeline to grieving; it takes however long it takes. If you could find a miscarriage support group I think you'd find a lot of women who understand exactly what you're going through. So sorry for your loss.

[Afrohair in reply to cecelia66]

The annoying thing is I keep thinking how far along I’ll be every moment I don’t think I’ll ever forget it because I’m counting down due date.next it will be birthday I’m finding it so difficult I would have been ready to hold my baby March 16 and it’s gone so fast to think my daughter would have had another sibling here it’s so heartbreaking I feel like people who have kids have all the stigma of oh when are you having another where as people without kids can avoid anyone with children people with children are already in the circle of seeing more children every day

[cecelia66 in reply to Afrohair]

I don't think you'll ever forget either. We don't forget these kind of things. Who would? Over time though, the loss becomes less painful, less all consuming. Do you journal? Just writing about what your feeling might help you through it. Some women even write to their babies telling them everything they meant to them. How much they were loved, looked forward to, who their siblings are. It's a way of acknowledging everything you imagined for the baby and what they meant to you.

[Afrohair in reply to cecelia66]

I did write it down when it first happened but that much happened I’ve not completed the journal entry yet as I find it heart breaking to even write but I did originally want it on paper I can’t remember why at the time but it just made sense to grieve I guess I haven’t finished because I’m still grieving

[Hidden]

Hi! I have never had a miscarriage, so I don't truly know what this feeling is like. When I was younger, my mom became pregnant with a child, which we soon figured out was a girl. This was very exciting for someone who already had 2 brothers. After some time we realized that the baby wasn't acting right, so my mother went to the doctor. When she came home and told me about the miscarriage, I was overwhelmed with sadness. This was my last chance to have a sister, and she was gone. She hadn't officially been there, but she already felt like mine. A while later my mom was pregnant again, this time with a boy. He was born healthy, but the doctor explained to my mom that if her miscarried baby had been born, this one would not have been. This is when I realized that everything honestly happens for a reason. When that precious baby died I had no idea why, but God did. He was in control the whole time. He is watching over you, so trust that He has a reason for everything.

[Afrohair in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou for your comforting words x

[Hidden in reply to Afrohair]

❤

[chaoticjoy3]

I am so sorry you are going through this.... The pain of miscarriage is so difficult. I know that I never realized how deeply it can hurt until I went through it. I would suggest talking to a counselor, someone who can help you to find way to cope with the grief. Remember, you suffered the loss of a child, and there will be a grieving process, it takes time. Those of us who have faced this can attest to that. It has been many years for me and I can tell you that the emotional healing didn't happen over night, but in time the pain got less and less..... Praying for you, keep talking to us, we will help where we can.

[Afrohair in reply to chaoticjoy3]

I was very dismissive till it happened to me it’s nothing like what they say your led to believe you don’t see your baby and it’s like a period I saw my baby and I haemorrhage I was led into an ambulance after 12 hours of heart wrenching labour . my bed is still stained with a pool of blood as I lost the baby at home and every time I change it I’m reminded of it her grave lay outside in my garden getting cold I really feel I can’t talk to anyone outside I’ve had counsellors before and it’s never really helped I think it’s my mind set and time like you say I had someone early on but they don’t last they withdraw in a few weeks and let you get on with it

[chaoticjoy3 in reply to Afrohair]

I can relate, sometimes it just seems like no one can help. Your story is heartbreaking and very traumatic, I don't think it would hurt to reach out to a counselor again. Another though is that you may possibly be suffering from postpartum depression. Even though you didn't carry the baby full term, it is highly possible that you are dealing with not only the grief from the loss but also a hormonal or chemical imbalance. Have you talked with your OBGYN about this. I had PPD with my first two kids. The first time around it took me a long time to recognize what was going on. I was just sad all the time. Once I contacted my doctor and I began medication I felt so much better. And it wasn't medication that I had to be on a long time, just long enough to settle things down, to help me find joy again. Are you able to make a call to your regular doctor and see what they have to say? I know this is so difficult but remember we are here to listen, and your doctors are there to help you through this.... I will continue to pray for you....

[Afrohair in reply to chaoticjoy3]

I think my doctor thinks I’m anxious as that’s all she’s said about my emotional state I may go and speak to her but I find it hard to reach out as I’ve already got so many health problems I feel like I’m pestering them

[chaoticjoy3 in reply to Afrohair]

I'm sorry she is making you feel this way. Please reach out again, I know it may seem pesty but it is not, and please don't let them make you feel that way. You are not alone in this, and if she is not willing to help, ask for a referral, maybe even a different counselor would have different ideas on how to help you through this. You are not alone, keep talking to us also, we are here to listen. Prayers