Freefall (free write about my current struggles, count them)

[Against_the_current]

Wake up and anxiety begins

Who's she hitting ur dms?

If i follow her am i crazy?

Spiders on my curtains, am i lazy?

Depressed or lazy? Feeling jaded lately.

As If i don't have enough in my head

And i have to clean my room and make my bed

Spiders please go away

I'm too depressed to clean, don't stay.

How to tell my roommate im not avoiding her and cleaning

I just had problems with my health and healing

Thought it was just anxiety

But my lymph nod took the best of me

Woke up with allergy

Anti-histamins making me sleepy

Have to spend money i don't have on my sick gum

On my lymph nod won't be no fun

Nightmares every night

Finally i fell asleep with no fight

And my dad woke me up

To ask about my data

Cause he forgot it, does it matter

And to say finally sends me money

And i just woke up feeling no funny

I overthink now

I should have sayed "thank you"

I should have sayed "thank you"

But i was sleepy and still worried he s sending me less

Am i an ungrateful pest

Or do i finally see

Doubt and Overthinking

Meanwhile he in my dms

Am i thinking what to say? Yes

I feel like a pest

I'm doing nothing, i'm doing less

And still i feel on a constant test

And still im so stressed

I have no work, no school and i'm on constant stress

What's wrong with me? Yes

A lot i guess

[Hidden]

💔💔💔💔💔

[Call_me_anything]

🙌🙌🙌

[Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

seems really difficult to deal with, I know what it's like to have these thoughts pestering you from the moment you wake up but it sounds like you're doing a really good job handling it, not sure many people in your situation would have the strength that you do! Keep it up, you're doing great, it will get better and I hope it happens soon.🤞

[Against_the_current in reply to Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

Thank you so much! Feels so good to have recognition

[Hidden]

wow! You express your pain so well. I'm sorry you're going through all that. I hope it felt good to get that out. Writing out what I'm going through helps me.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. For real writing helps

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

glad it helps you!

[Genuineguy]

You have alot of talent and put alot of feeling in to what you say. Keep writing.