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How do I tell my friends and family about my struggles?

carno90 profile image
5 Replies

I have finally decided to confront my depression head on after more than 10 years. I have been talking to a therapist, started meditating, and have been looking into changing my lifestyle (I.e. better diet and more exercise and reading more, too). I'm also looking to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss medication. How do I tell those closest to me about this? I still feel tremendous shame about it and I don't want to be treated any different. I'm just looking for support. Any suggestions?

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carno90 profile image
carno90
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tamka38 profile image
tamka38

I think u should talk to your therapist about that. Because once u tell they is no going back and in my experience they start feeling sorry for u and watching everything move u take might make u paranoid or anxious and than they might get sad too

I would probably just say hey lately I been having more bad days than good and some times I just want to be alone by myself and say if u don’t hear from me in a couple of days is not that I don’t care is that I just need a little time to myself and I will reach out to u if I need u because for me I want space and I want to be left alone u have to figure out what u want if u going to tell them

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970

You don't have to let anyone know unless you want to. Are they supportive or have the contributed to where you are now? Toxic people often cannot understand, and even those who aren't have a hard time grasping how it feels unless they have been there. I have found in my experience that I have friends who I speak to before I let my family know what is happening. They tend to be more supportive. Perhaps your therapist can explore this with you. Good luck! I am glad you are getting help. It sounds like you are on the right track.

BlueBelle06 profile image
BlueBelle06

It’s feel it’s ok to open up to those you trust. Realize that if they have not personally experienced depression, they may not know what to say. Try to remove any expectations so you aren’t disappointed and think about why you want to share. Are you looking for support, is this helping you accept your diagnosis etc. i wish you well 🌸

melantha profile image
melantha

Wow that sounds just like me actually. I too have been struggling with depression for about ten years and I am just now finally confronting it. I started seeing a therapist a few months ago and also finally talked to my doctor to get on a medication.

I’ve always found depression really, really difficult to talk about, and that’s why I never wanted to do therapy before (well that and me being painfully shy). It wasn’t until my anxiety got super out of hand that it finally pushed me to make an appointment. It’s much easier to talk about the anxiety so that’s where I started. I now need to start getting into talking about the depression, but that’s going to be difficult :/

As far as friends and family go, I’d only tell them what you are comfortable with. If they don’t really need to know and it would make you feel awkward then you certainly don’t have to. That being said, opening up and being honest about what you’re going through can be quite rewarding. I’ve found that several people I know also struggle with bad anxiety and a few have even gone through therapy for it too. Mental health problems are actually far more common than you think. It’s just not something people always like to openly talk about. You’ll be surprised just how much some people understand, but there are also others that don’t. It’s often hard for people who don’t have these issues to truly understand it. Some people don’t even “believe” in depression, but as you and I know it is very real. So it really depends on the person I guess. Share as much or as little as you are comfortable with, and just remember that you always have this online community of people who do 100% understand :)

Jacaroo profile image
Jacaroo

Wow! That's incredible that you are taking your mental health very seriously! Speaking from having mental health issues in the past and also being a family of someone who struggles with depression. I would want to know. The way you mentioned this seems like you want to be open about it. This is an area of resource, love, support and encouragement that you aren't tapping into. You never know, someone in this circle may also feel the same way and would love to connect with you.

I feel like people don't realize that "normal" people struggle because we are silent. If people treat you differently, then you can deal with that. This is part of who you are and I think you will do a great job in handling misunderstandings etc. The truth is that there are times that someone does need to be "watching over us" because maybe we aren't safe. I see it as an opportunity for growth for you and for them. Being open and vulnerable is the only way I know of to have REAL relationships. No hiding necessary. If someone is being weird, let them know. Encourage them to get educated and if necessary, you can let them know that you feel like you shouldn't have told them. That maybe they weren't ready for it.

Yay for you! Genuinely! YAY for you on getting some help :) Allow your loved ones to walk alongside you--- that's my 2 cents!

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