A good therapist is hard to find

[Raggedy-Ann]

When I lived in a big city I tried different therapists for decades. It's hard to find someone who knows how to treat someone with a major depressive disorder. Think happy thoughts doesn't cut it. Finding a good therapist that I can connect with is so amazing. Now I am in a smaller community and it's take what I get. I am on therapist number 4 in 7 years. None of them know how to help me. I just go to therapy so I can get my medications filled. I feel so alone. I've had times I've called the helplines and one person was helpful while another gave me a bum's rush. Nobody wants to hear about how painful my life is. I am just ticking off my time.

[Blueruth]

”think happy thoughts” never worked for me either. I need something active like exercises or structure

what about seeking a type of treatment instead of a therapist? Some are classes too like CBT. Perhaps a different structure would help… and talking to others in similar situations. We can probably give you some ideas. You can see someone online too.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Blueruth]

Hello. Thank you for the idea of an online therapist. I was in a CBT but I couldn't remember all the acronyms or build on skills. A series of events makes it hard for me to remember ...anything, even in the moment. This is helpful. I've never really had peers dealing with similar issues.

[Blueruth in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

It is practice too. I went to DBT classes which are similar. You would probably get a binder and handouts which would help with memory. I really connected with brenè brown teachings. There is a structured program which I didn’t do and therapists. Maybe others have ideas too. They all have something to teach you. It is finding the one you are ready for.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Blueruth]

Excuse the interruption please?

How do you seek a "type of treatment"?

Do you mean looking for a therapist who specializes?

Or where do you find the classes? And peer support. I'm not succeeding at finding classes or support. Once a month doesn't do it.

[Blueruth in reply to Nothing_but_books]

psychology today has a directory where you can specify type of treatment. The list is really long but you could work off the list and google to find out what they are. In my area dbt classes were at the mental hospital. Brene brown has her own program and training. You can find a directory. The therapist in your area may offer the workshops. There is also an online program with a book on brene’s website.

Those are just examples. If you have a therapist right now you could ask them for recommendations. Since they know you they may have a suggestion . Do what feels good to you

psychologytoday.com

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Blueruth]

Thanks for the link. I guess it's me. I'm getting nowhere. Should I be looking at the "get help" section at the top of the page? Hardly anything turns up. What am I doing wrong?

[Blueruth in reply to Nothing_but_books]

look in the directory and the select the filter for “type”. Little roundabout way of getting there…

[Blueruth in reply to Nothing_but_books]

psychologytoday.com/us/type...

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Blueruth]

Thank you so much. I'm trying there now.

[Raggedy-Ann]

I love Brene Brown. I did DBT and made it through about half of the classes until I needed to be hospitalized. I signed up for Master Class I like Chris Voss, he offers interesting ways to communicate. Thank you for some ideas on how to augment my therapy.

[Kainan in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

yes, his class is a good one. I also would recommend Daniel pink’s masterclass

[Hidden]

I went through DBT for a year. It did help me, but mainly because I had a social worker who was really great with me. Then I had some people who were not so great. It can be difficult to find someone who really cares and they aren’t just going through the motions. I think some therapists get burned out. Sometimes I feel like I’d rather have a few good friends to talk to then see a therapist constantly. Try to get yourself involved in something you feel passionate about. Life is too short to feel like your wasting time in therapy that isn’t helping you.

[NickieLane in reply to Hidden]

what is DBT. I live in Georgia. I never heard of it.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to NickieLane]

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. = changing the negative narrative in your head, stop being your worst bully.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to Hidden]

I have had the burnouts, I won't waste my time with that. I had a therapist who talked about her very intimate personal problems and would take personal calls during our sessions. I have a few good friends I try not to share about my sadness too often. I don't have any friends where I live now. My favorite thing was a women's group. This year I focused on my garden/yard. It has been very gratifying. I wish I had friends here.

[NickieLane in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

I don’t have friends either. I was a deputy sheriff and was the only female so now I have no woman to talk to. My dad tells me to always keep a close friend. Law enforcement is a brotherhood and once you are out then they don’t know you anymore.

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to NickieLane]

It is really admirable that you worked in law enforcement. It also sucks to be ostracized. I have no ideas about making friends. I have gone to great lengths to meet people. I saw other people making friends at events I organized. I am the awkward one who says weird things.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Very true. When I was a kid I went through 2 therapists. Finally in my teens my mom found a diamond in the rough. She was an elderly woman but she was compassionate and understanding. She even stuck with me after my insurance decided I was not getting better fast enough. She took me on as her volunteer time. And made me her last client of the day so I would get 2hrs with her! She was so sweet and we got along so well. Unfortunately she got diagnosed with cognitive brain disorder. And had to give up her practice.

I see a therapist now after my setback. She's nice but she's no where near the level of my last therapist. I mean when I was reporting my progress of going out. She mentioned if I still needed therapy. Like yeah I do, theres a bunch of other issues im dealing with. We are just focusing on anxiety cause that is disruptive to my life. I still have trust issues, family issues, body image issues etc. She's a nice lady but we really don't have the same connection. I don't think Ill ever will find a therapist like my last therapist. So the one I have now, Will have to do.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Thank you, you understand.

[designguy]

I'm not sure where you live but in the US there are many different kinds of therapists available with many different treatment modalities. Part of successful therapy is determining what type of therapy is appropriate for you at the time and finding one that fits it. The majority of therapists have websites or information on referral sites that you can check out first to see if they are appropriate for you. Also don't be afraid to fire your therapist if they aren't right for you and find one that is. You are in charge of your healing not a therapist.

[Raggedy-Ann]

I live in small town America where there are few choices and I am limited to who takes my insurance.