I’m just scared

[Adamj]

I’m having to be alone for a couple days while my mom is in the hospital again they had to do emergency surgery because she has a bad infection. I feel like I’m in a dream the whole day. I tried forcing myself to sleep the whole day because of it and of course that just made things worse cuz I think my body just kept releasing cortisol to wake my ass up. But I just had to go to the store by myself and I felt like I was in a dream the whole time not real felt like survival mode I was just grabbing shit I liked. And of course my brain has to keep replaying having to call 911 yesterday for my mom and seeing all the blood and discharge from her wound. Idk why I’m so scared to be alone it’s horrible. Though I did go for my walk today and ate. My brain just keeps jumping around feeling like it’s shutting off what I was thinking then I’m looking at something else. I really do think the mental shit is the most distressing when it comes to all of this.

[Blueruth]

CBT would help....

mcgill.ca/counselling/files...

If you let it.

[Adamj in reply to Blueruth]

are you trying to push people away from this site. Do not understand why you have to be so hostile towards me and others. And it’s not just being “frank”

[Blueruth in reply to Adamj]

no it is not frank. It is a tool to help you. If you read it it addresses exactly the problem you are dealing with. You said you feel like you are in survival mode. Asking those questions gets you out of fight or flight by getting you to slow down and think about your circumstances.

[Blueruth in reply to Adamj]

reality is literally everyone has to learn how to protect themselves in emotional situations BEFORE they are emotional. For some like yourself it is harder but that just means it is even more imperative to *prepare*. How do you do that? You make a list of triggers and write a plan while you are not in an emotional state. I used to have a break glass box of self care and questions/thoughts. You can’t put that together in an emotional state.

Could it be the reason you don’t like my comment is probably that you can’t think clearly and just want someone to tell you it is okay? Is one sided conversation the attraction of this forum? Right now you can’t think clearly but you seem to be aware you can’t think clearly too. Just don’t know how to adapt. But you do have moments of clarity. So maybe save the link or another and look at it when you can. I’m telling you you have the power to tell yourself it is okay.

Existentially the alternative to sucking it up and learning is the antithesis of being human. Learning and adapting from it IS what makes humans different from most other species. That’s a lot.

[justgoosethings]

I am the same way, I hate to be alone. My boyfriend just went to college almost 2 weeks ago and the whole first week I cried. I cried when he left this past weekend. It’s been difficult but letting myself experience my emotions and then put it on a back burner almost, and making sure I take care of myself (I literally downloaded a self care app, highly recommended it). And don’t isolate yourself, talk to your friends, complain about how your feeling if you want. It definitely helps me.

[Rose23456]

Hi Adam really sorry to hear you are going through this. Having a mother in the hospital can be worrisome and staying home alone can feel scary. I hope she has a speedy recovery. In the meantime try to take care of yourself and tell yourself everything will turn out alright and you are safe at home. Im happy you you pushed yourself to eat something and take a walk even though you didnt feel like it. Some tips to not feel scared when you are alone are to turn on the tv and call a friend. Having background noise helps not to feel alone.

[Adamj in reply to Rose23456]

thank you I’m tryin to keep myself occupied now

[Driftr]

So sorry to hear about your mom! Im proud of you for going to the store walkong and eating. That right there shows your strength! Im here if you need to talk

[Adamj in reply to Driftr]

thank you

I’m proud of myself too for going and doing it even though I was anxious too

[Driftr in reply to Adamj]

Your very welcome! Hang in there

[Dolphin14]

Adam

Sounds like you saw your mom in a very scary position. This is traumatic. It may have triggered more intense feelings with your own anxieties.

I'm glad you walked and I'm happy to hear you got to the store.

Please take care of yourself. I wish your mom a fast recovery

🐬

[Adamj in reply to Dolphin14]

thank you yea and I still have to see her go through chemo 😞

[Dolphin14 in reply to Adamj]

Your welcome Adam. You know I'm always here for you.

This is a very difficult time. Your emotions are going to be heightened and you need to feel free to express those.

I will be thinking of your mom as she begins her treatment.

Cancer sucks. I just found out yesterday my cherished best friend may have a recurrence. My ❤️ Is broken and I'm scared. I think I know how you feel. We must be feeling some of the same things. 😢

🐬

[Adamj in reply to Dolphin14]

yeah this is sadly my moms second time with breast cancer. She has two type of breast cancer some how. And now was just told I’m going to be alone until atleast Monday

[Dolphin14 in reply to Adamj]

You are not alone. We are here for you. Please reach out.

How is your mom doing?

🐬

[Adamj in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you she seems to be doing okay the last I talked to her she seems somewhat better

[Dolphin14]

I'm happy to hear this. You know you can pm me if you need to talk.

🐬

[Stippler]

It is good you went for a walk. Sending positive energy to you and your Mother. 🙏🙏🙏

[Hidden]

Hello. I hope and pray that both you and your Mom will be all right. These are difficult times all of us are living in these days. Just try to take one day at a time. Keep us posted on how your Mom is doing. Stay strong. We have your back on here.🙂👍