I just wish I knew why I kept getting worse

[Adamj]

I just wish I knew why I keep getting worse and then feeling worse feeling weird strange things. I really feel like I’m crazy and insane. Todays been hell just with mental symptoms feeling like I can’t think feeling like my memory keeps jumping feeling like my Brian just shuts off I’ll be thinking about something then bam my brain forgets what I was just thinking. It’s so frustrating and scary. I still keep convincing myself something is wrong with me. I just feel sick and Ill mentally and physically. I’ve been eating regularly been exercising all for over a week now. Also my brain is like just go to the hospital or urgent care but they’ll just say it’s anxiety. My mom and girlfriend are getting so frustrated with me because they say they’re tired of seeing me suffer I’m like sorry I feel so shit no matter what I do I can’t really even explain how I feel.

I keep getting chills too ugh and of course I’ve come across another post about someone having weird symptoms and it ended up being heart stuff

I can sit here and say I can see how irrational my mind is but like I cannot stop it during the day or even after I eat. A lot of people think I have to much time to think which I do agree but I do not know what to do to distract myself

I also tried the olly stress release gummies so idk if that could’ve exasperated things or what.

Yes I did contact my doctors

Also maybe one day I’ll find someone going through this like I am and the weirdness or maybe someone will find my “crazy” posts and see they’re not alone

[Agora1]

Hi Adamj I too feel bad when I see your posts in how much you are suffering each day.It's hard for anyone even in the family/friends to relate to something they've never experienced. At least here on this forum, you know that you're not alone.

I use to suffer badly myself. It is hard to think of anything but your own physical and

mental issues. Like you, I was always aware in how far I was from a hospital when leaving

home. I would feel secure when I would see a Hospital Zone sign while driving. (you know

just in case)

It's a terrible way to live my friend. The one thing I did right is not labeling myself as

mentally ill. Once we put that idea in our minds, we seem to have to live up to that stigma.

And that's not the case.

Something causes us to react to our Mind/Body state and until we address the problem,

our doubts and what ifs go on. Medication and going to the ER isn't enough. Therapy and

more therapy (with the right therapist) can direct you down a different path, a healthier

path. Right now you as many of us are going in a circle each day, thinking the same and doing

the same thing and wishing for a different outcome.

It "ain't" going to happen unless something changes within us. Let me reassure you that you

are not crazy, not insane, but are a young man who is just so overwhelmed with life right now

that you can't think straight. Know that it won't always be like this. One day, you will know

peace again and be able to go forward with your wife and family. xx

[Adamj in reply to Agora1]

I hope so I guess I am really badly overwhelmed. I also have this feeling that I really won’t get better and it’s horrible.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Adamj]

Adam

You can't lose hope. It's all we have as we struggle through this.

Exercise really helps me. I need it everyday in some form. I'm so glad you are doing this.

If you know part of your problem is too much free time you have to find something to fill in these gaps. I know many suggestions have been sent your way. You have to pick something and do it. Discipline and motivation are needed and we lack those when we are suffering from anxiety or depression.

However, we can do more than we think. For me a list worked. Give yourself an " assignment" accomplish something and check it off. Then sit down and think about how you feel. Were you anxious at a 10/10 scale? Ok..... tomorrow you may feel the same. But with time that 10/10 with decrease. When you see the positive results you will become less frightened.

Have you ever thought of volunteering? It doesn't have to be with humans. There are many pet shelters that would love to have you. Animals are so healing.

Hang in there, never give up on yourself

🐬

[AnonymousUsername13]

Not much to add to the other posts, but remember, we can create psychosomatic symptoms, if i think my chest hurts enough, it will genuinely start hurting. You have to distract your mind. Go to the doctor to rule out anything health wise, then u will know for sure it's all mental. That's when a therapist can help, or I've been watching "therapy in a nutshell" on YouTube, with lots of great advice from a range of different situations. It just takes time. I know that's not what u want to hear. Prayer & reading the Bible has helped me a ton, so seek out a higher power of some sort, if u are so inclined, & that can help u, too. Ur mind thinks u are under threat. It takes time & convincing that u aren't, so it returns to default mode. It will happen eventually.

[TrustYourSoul]

You may "feel" you are getting worse, because you continuously SAY you are. You cannot improve until You keep practicing thinking better thoughts. It takes practice, just like anything else we try to master and be great at. Practice, practice, practice!

For today, I will add that you need to go out and buy either a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle, OR, a coloring book and crayons or markers. All of your negative thinking, and Overthinking only involves the left side of your brain. It is important for mental balance to engage the right, or "creative" side of your brain. This can only happen by "creating" something, such as the puzzle, coloring book, growing and caring for a garden, holding and playing with a pet, swinging on the swings at a local park and really listening to the birds, or deciding what a cloud looks like ..... Do Something creative and you will find great "breakthrough" relief.

[NicL11]

I completely understand what you’re going through, Adam. I was diagnosed about four years ago and I felt the same thing. Every little thing that I felt wrong I was convinced I was going to die. It got so bad that I was scared to leave my house.

I went to the ER twice with elevated heart rate (200 bpm) and then went to a therapist. I was given medication and it works.

I still have bad days, like today for example, where the thoughts of death creep in and it seems like I’m going crazy. Normally I pray and have a good cry in order to cope when I get anxious but sometimes I have to go to my mother and explain everything and even have her hold me before I feel relief.

I find talking to other people who are going through the same thing really helpful because it helps me know other people have overcome it day by day. I also color a lot which really helps me focus on something else, if that’s something you might like.

You’ll get through it, I promise!!

[TrustYourSoul]

Adam, did you follow through with my suggestions? Seriously, you need to stop thinking/overthinking, and constantly telling yourself negative things. Engaging your right brain and doing creative things will stop you from obsessing. All of your many medical tests have come back fine. You are physically healthy and young. Start "creating" and turning to the other side of your brain...Often. Turn all of your negative and destructive thoughts around, keep a slight smile on your face to improve your endorphins, and you WILL start living. It works. Doing your very best to TRY, is solely up to you. Good luck.🙋‍♀️