grief

[LonelySunflower]

I remember writing in one of these groups about 4 years ago about not being able to be there for my brother during his cancer journey due to anxiety and panic attacks. I didn’t want to stress him with my stupid rollercoaster emotions. He was so brave he battled cancer, but now he is gone. A day before he died he told me to not cut myself ever again. To live my life fully and be happy I was healthy. I saw him dye. You know what the paramedics said I was the calmest out of all my family. I tried so hard to be there for him during his last moments. I miss him so much and I would of given my life for his because he deserves to live longer. He was only 21 years old. Now here I am still struggling with stupid anxiety and depression and I feel miserable not being able to control myself.

[FelicityT]

I am in an almost similar situation as yours. My mother is undergoing cancer treatment and I am living in a different country for my higher studies. It's hard. I can understand your feelings. Even I go thru similar feelings but I never show it to my mom. I told all my family members, not to cry in front of her or show any sign of sadness. Keep her happy at all times. In my culture, we always address death as "someone's suffering ended". This is how we make peace when our loved ones are gone. They were struggling, but now they are at peace and they don't need to face any trouble anymore. Try to be in a group of friends or closed ones. Never stay alone in such a time. That's what helps me. Take care 💕💕

[101315 in reply to FelicityT]

I admire your resolve and insight.

[101315]

My condolences for your loss. Your brother must have cared a great deal about you. Often those facing an impossible future have the most clarity. Even from inevitable death he wished you to live your life for the both of you. Honour his bravery and survive against all odds. Be proud to have such strength in your family.

[Hidden]

Honey-- u gave him the ultmate gift......he asked u not to cut because he loved u and cared and knew its like a anxious dog u love so much chewing on his leg...he or she cant help it anymore than a beleovd dog has seizres......so u have ups and downs..

sooooo what

brothers dont care......because of u....

he didnt ahve anohter pia brother

he had a sister.....he loved and filled his life like a mountain meadow full of vulnerable flowers....

trust me........u filled him so he could face anhting

and uncarng people never greive

u grieve becasue not of weakness but the bond

ill guarentee u he knows.....and heard all the love u have for him still......

honey....what a huge huge honor to have a sister who misses u.......

what a ginormous gift...........he knows...ill guarentee u hes right with u like the movie Ghost.....holding ur hand.....so proud ot have such a sister.......(v mean ones)

give it some time but ....honey....he hears u sooo good.....i promisse ....

brothers dont hink he way most people think they do....

yr stilll ....his sister........