well according to my blood work it’s unlikely that my adrenal glands are causing my symptoms. Then what is wrong with me I can’t handle this shit anymore. I’m just going to list my recent symptoms to see if maybe anyone has any suggestions to maybe ask my doctor about.
Prickly pokey feeling in different parts of my body
Itchy feeling in different parts of body
Tiredness
Headaches that go around my head side of head front of head painful
Heart palpitations random racing heart then fear
Brain fog
Feeling like I’m not real/in a dream
Chest pain especially in ribs and sternum
Dizziness/lightheadedness
Feeling like I’m dying
Vivid dreams/nightmares
Random pains
Sensitivity to smells and sounds
feeling like chemicals surges through me
Feeling like my body frozen not like from temp but like I’m fear
Hot/cold feelings
just feels like my body is malfunctioning and like my brain doesn’t work right anymore
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Adamj
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I shave alluded this before. Pain is actually in the head. If you have a broken leg there is an injury but the sensation of pain is in your head. **don’t confuse that with “your imagining it**. There is research on this. In fact they have successfully cured chronic pain with therapy. So yes I would investigate in therapy because your list of symptoms keeps changing.
How do you just accept it as anxiety when it’s so intense and scary and traumatic. My brain really feels like it’s not working right anymore like It just wont stop. I’ll be laying there close my eyes for a little and my brain switches how it’s thinking and then bam it all comes back. Or I’ll just be getting there and weird things come over me. Like it doesn’t feel like anxiety or fear like I was ever use to before that’s why I’m freaking out. It’s so intense. All I want to do is sleep and I will sleep and then when I wake up I force myself back to sleep and then have my sleep all messed up. It just feels like I’m dying I don’t know what my body wants I woke up and thought omg did I just die my brain and body are just doing weird shit that aint letting up. This is going to kill me. And on top of my shit I have to deal with my mom having bad breast cancer I don’t know what to do anymore my life is passing by and I feel like I’m dying and my life is over. Everyone tells me to get a job but it’s so intense how can I get a job when I’m dealing with these intense feelings. I’m frustrated. Talk therapy doesn’t give me the release like it use to if anything talking about it makes me feel worse.
Like some of my brain this is like not feeling real feeling like I’m in a dream my thoughts will jump around it’s like my brain isn’t turned on right. Or it will be all negative thoughts and then bam my brain calms down and just flips it’s so weird and scary. I feel like I’m insane and crazy.
And I really want to run to the hospital because of how I feel. Like it doesn’t make sense to me these feelings. And it’s very frightening when I’m not thinking of anything and then bam
Dearest Adam, you sleep as an escape but you can't escape from yourself and sowhen you wake up, the nightmare starts all over again. The fear of a new day are
so intensely ingrained in your mind that you can't help but wait for something bad
to happen.
I think about what you are going through and it's so reminiscent of my own struggles
with intense fear and anxiety. Anxiety always has a deep down rooted issue that brings
them to the peak of hopelessness and helplessness. I'm sorry to hear that your mom
is suffering from cancer. This along with your own issues of health anxiety are making you not to be able to think clearly. You are living in a state of panic and fear for yourself
as well as your mom.
Therapy and more therapy are needed during highly stress issues in our lives. We can't
think clearly for ourselves when our mind is cluttered with "what ifs".
The ER is not the place to run to in times like this. The most they can do is give you a
shot to relax you w/o talk therapy and then send you home to the same situation.
I did in-patient at one time for 6 weeks. I couldn't believe in how profusely helpful
it was. Being away from my stressful situation. help all around 24/7, working on myself,
and most of all structure in each and every day. No surprises.
I want so much to help you. I wish I could sit down with you and allow you to truly see
how my mind works now. But it didn't happen overnite. Medication is not a cure all but
can help break this spiraling cycle that you are in.
Your brain is working right, it's trying to protect you right now by allowing you to feel
and express your emotions. Don't give up. I wish your mother my best xx
Do you have therapy, Adam? It may help. I once went into have a brain scan because I was sure there was a tumor or something because I felt so many confusing symptoms but it was all from anxiety. Today is better than it’s been in a while although I do still suffer with social anxiety. I really hope you can say to yourself that it’s just from thoughts racing through intruding which cause the sensations. It may take a bit but dont give up. You can do this.
Yes I do therapy though it doesn’t really seem to help anymore I feel crazy and then when I explain how I’ve been feeling he gets intregd by it because my brain is doing weird shit and I’m feeling weird things
The drs have all cleared you. Now start excercising daily. And pushing yourself a bit more each day. Show yourself your healthy. Build your confidence in the amazing body nature gave you. It seems like you are caught up in some hypochondriac cycle of fear. That you can’t break free of. Excercising daily and increasing your routine. Will slowly make you feel better. What do you have to lose?
Adam, I’m really sorry you are going through all of this. I know how difficult it is. You are in an “anxiety loop” where you have a fear of fear. Basically, you are afraid of the feelings of fear and the physical manifestations that it produces. You are physically ok, and the doctors have proven that. What I think you need to do is to change how you perceive your physical symptoms by learning to “accept and allow” them. In time, your brain will become re-wired and you won’t become so afraid of those physical symptoms, which in turn will decrease over time. I KNOW this works! Please check out DARE by Barry McDonaugh and The Anxious Truth by Drew Linsalata. They have helped thousands of people in your exact situation. But you have to make that first step to wanting to help yourself overcome the dreaded fear of fear. I wish you luck on your journey and will say a prayer for you (and your mom!)
Adam, perhaps it is time to try inpatient hospitalization to get the help and support you need. As others have said you have been cleared physically so maybe inpatient treatment is the way to go. It helped me in the past. Not only would you get the professional support but peer support as well. I feel for you and do help you get what you need and start to feel better.
These 2 books are what I've been reading & told they will help me with my health anxiety. Maybe they can help you. Our minds are very powerful, & your mind os stuck in a fight or flight response. I have experienced this. I am still trying to get over it. Basically time, & learning about myself through reading & hearing other people's experience os all that helped me recently. I'm getting a little better, so hopefully things like this can help you, too.
I read most of the intro in the second book. One thing that caught my idea was about choosing to live now. You aren’t denying the pain. Just figuring how to make it less important (easier said than done). I’m an Oliver sacks fan so all this is quite interesting to me.
The last two episodes in this series connect mental and physical pain. They cite the study I mentioned. In the last story he found relief for his back pain through therapy.
Really all the things you described can be hypothyroidism but it would have shown up in your blood work.
Really, Adam, it anxiety. Anxiety can give you all those symptoms and the headache too because you keep obsessing over it. You keep looking and searching to find something wrong with you physically to explain all this. But truth is and this is a truth you have to accept You are perfectly healthy. And your body is doing what it's supposed to be doing. Anxiety just has taken hold of you. And yes I get what you mean about accepting your symptoms of anxiety. No one wants to invite the vampire in. Vampire being anxiety. Yes it is scary The sensations are scary and can be very traumatic. But the sensations are just sensations. Just like thoughts or just thoughts. They can't hurt you. I mean look at you You have survived all of your panic attacks and anxiety attacks. You are still here. No one has ever died of a panic attack or an anxiety attack. Yes they're mad uncomfortable. But you can get through it. Accepting is just one part of it. You just have to accept that okay these sensations are happening it's part of the anxiety but I know I can get through this. It's a self-talk that needs to change. But you get so frightened and you freak out logical brain takes a step out and you're left with anxiety brain. And it tells you that you're going to die you need to rush to the ER. But the ER all they're going to do is give you like some Valium in a shot and yeah you'll feel good for a few hours and then you're back where you started. You just have to trust that your body's doing what's supposed to at least for the most part. You have a clean bill of health. And tell your therapist that the sensations bother you and explain why they bother you. And for him to give you some advice on how to handle this. Rather than be coming intrigued. Cuz you're starting to feel like you're a zoo animal being studied. You would just like some guidance and and help on how to deal with this. You are actually doing very good I saw your post earlier about how you got a haircut and you went to Dollar tree. Yes you were in survivor mode and you were trying to hang on as best as you can. You stepped outside of your comfort zone. Congratulations to you on that. Yeah I know it doesn't feel like a win to you. But it is a win. You did something that you really didn't want to do or thought you couldn't do but you did it and you survived. So write that down in a journal so you can look back on that and you can remind yourself yeah I did that and I am proud of myself for doing that.
You are going to get through this. And you can get through this. Why? Because you've been here before. And since you have been here before that means you can get out again. Just means you may have to take a different route this time around. You learn from your mistakes and it makes you smarter and more knowledgeable. So that when this comes up again you a champ and you know how to deal with it and you won't panic again. I'm right there with you.
I'm beginning to think that you are hyper aware of how your body is working, and worry about pain, rashes, etc. then when the doc can't find anything you worry about that too, round and round it goes, but I think you need to think outside the box for a change, and work on distraction instead.
Adamj, you always think there is something physically wrong, you keep getting SO many exams and tests, ALL with NEGATIVE results, thank goodness! May I ask, would you be relieved if a doctor found something bad?? Seriously. You know you are physically Fine. Let it go. Focus on your great physical health and just Let It Go. Or I ask the question of you again... Would you be "relieved" if a doctor DID find something terribly wrong going on inside your body????? I have had cancer twice. It "could" return anytime I suppose, but I haven't run to a doctor or hospital in years over it. I was "cleared". I will deal with it, IF it ever comes back.
It would be the best help for you to chamnel your energy on a better future, and make it happen. Medically, you are FINE. Mentally, you are a bit of a wreck, but can be repaired if you try. Accept that, can you? It's ALL up to you. Dragging around a suitcase of "crap" will only get heavier.... and heavier.... and heavier. Go to a thrift shop and literally buy a new suitcase to ONLY be filled with POSITIVE words, pictures, and notes to Yourself. Look in THAT suitcase often. Add to it daily. Open it often
Throw all the positive slips of paper in the air like confetti, and let them "rain" on you.
Maybe also volunteer at a nursing home, or a children's hospital cancer ward. There you will find people who truly have medical problems, and you will see that You Don't. Ok???
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xx
Anxiety and medication what to do
