What do you say? Any suggestions?

[LW475]

HI my valued community of friends. I was curious if anyone had suggestions on how to respond to statements like: "You want me to live because you are selfish. I hate this life." "Why should I live...to make you happy?" Then when I say - because we love you, what you are going through will pass, you can overcome, there is happiness ahead... she will say "No there is not. I've done this before. I hate this world. I'm forced to be here because you "all" want me here for your own selfish reasons. " I don't know how to respond to this. I just keep telling her "I love you. Hang on. Life has lots of happy moments and tough moments... I'm here for you." I don't know what else to say. I don't want it to seem "selfish" to say things like "I will be devastated if you ever were gone..." When I did say that in the past she would say "that's your selfishness. I should live to make YOU happy?" Then I'm like - I want you to be happy ..........and she's like "I'm not. I never will be."

[Hidden]

she sounds exactly like I did when I was experiencing severe depression.

She's focusing on her perception that her life will always be miserable. That means she's not focused on today and that's where her mind needs to be.

What I did when I was feeling suicidal is I'd tell myself if I was still sad I could always end it the next day, and I'd say this to myself everyday. "If i can just get through this there's always tomorrow". Sounds morbid but I'm still here today so it worked for me.

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

Wow I could have written your response because that's basically how I have lived my life! I bet I am older than you so further proof it works.

[LW475 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so very much. <3

[Megapanda]

Frightened turtle has made some great points . Feeling guilty and shame is pretty common with depression . I would let her know that you are there for her and you are willing to listen . And she is not alone and it's okay not to feel happy ( or whatever emotions she is feeling ) I wouldn't use world's like I want you to ... It add pressure ( I know you don't mean it like that ) . Does she open up to you about what is going on or is she getting any other help ?

Here is a video that might help

youtu.be/sn8UME5kik4(Not working as expected?)

There YouTube channel has quite a few good videos on depression and other mental health topics

youtube.com/c/Psych2go

[LW475 in reply to Megapanda]

Thank you so much. This helps me <3

[LW475]

Thank you everyone for your support and guidance. This helps me tremendously.