trigger -

[Starrlight]

“It’s all good” ,I used to say. Learn and take from any situation I guess. I need to believe in something bigger than I have been I need to be more spiritual It’s so hard to get thinking more positive but I’m trying. Not successful so far Today I keep thinking of dying to be evading as a way out. I know it’s not the way. It is not for sure. It just pops up intrusively I’m in so much pain emotionally and physically. Taking it one moment at a time in the present. I feel like I’m barely controlling my mind. Fear of loss of control. If you are struggling , let’s find something now to think on that comforts and leave the dying idea to deal with tomorrow. I can’t let myself give that thought power but it’s just part of what I have to deal with today.

[RemySue]

So sorry. I've had a few good days, depressed today. All I can do is think of the good things, be grateful, do little things that I like to do. It's exhausting. Hope you feel better soon.

[Starrlight in reply to RemySue]

You feel better too, hang in there.

[Nothing_but_books]

I'm having a terrible day too. I pushed myself today to see some improvement around me, and now I'm in awful pain.

All I had to look forward to just disappeared: I got a phone call that I won't have any company tonight, or any meal either.

I needed to find a way to deal with the panic.

Then I realized this isn't -- by far -- the first time I've been here. Wow, the bad news is the good news. I searched through my old HU posts, and I've got a huge supply of support, plus ideas how to care for myself.

I found a movie on Hoopla to watch tonight. A comedy.

I don't know what else to do, but it's a start.

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I want to do that too, find a movie to watch. That’s all I want to do.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

A nice cup of tea and a happy movie. Me too. I hope it helps.

I found The Hard Way on Hoopla to watch tonight. (Hoopla lets you get movies for free with your library card.)

Here's my post asking for cheerful movies:

healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

[DislocatedPlayground in reply to Nothing_but_books]

What comedy are you going to watch?

[Nothing_but_books in reply to DislocatedPlayground]

The Hard Way. Michael J. Fox and James Woods.

[Joshgw]

I'm so sorry. I have suicidal thoughts all the time, so I know how you feel. And it's hard to escape those thoughts and gain perspective. It's the emotional pain that's so devastating and we look for a way out. I have a 12 yr old son so I think of him and it teats me apart. On the one hand I'm in so much pain, I just want to die, on the other I want to live to be his dad and if I killed myself it would kill him, ruin is life.

But I know exactly how you feel. When that emotional pain comes (and mine never really goes away) it is impossible to control it and we just go down that rabbit hole. I just let it happen. I could sob for hours. I don't have the strength to do anything else. But if you can find a way to think of something else, that's great. Do something simple like the dishes to focus on something else.

[MaggieSylvie]

Sounds like you need to get out in the sunshine and see the life around you. 😊

[Starrlight in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Yeah could be. I’m feeling good spending time with my son and we just watched a groundhog eating grass in our backyard

[AnxiousSilver]

"I can’t let myself give that thought power but it’s just part of what I have to deal with today. "

Starrlight. We've all been "there".

.

If you can, try to get some fresh air.

If you're not in the mood for that, then try to make one goal for yourself today. It could be anything.

It could be shower today, or ear something that's in your fridge, ETC. Just that feeling of accomplishing "something", can help sometimes.

[Starrlight in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Thank you

[mentalstrength30]

you are so much stronger than you know.

[Starrlight in reply to mentalstrength30]

❤️

[Tigerlilly7]

Hello starrlight

Sorry you are struggling.

I struggling also myself today.

I been trying to trust that the universe has a greater plan for me and that things happen for a reason ect

My situation atm I just don’t feel connection with anyone which makes me feel very sad and lonely. I have spoken to many people recently but feel they all end in me not being able to connect with them.

I feel I’m just ignored and no one cares ect

So if I believe the universe has a great plan then what am I to learn from this?

Because today all I can seem to learn from this is I shouldn’t talk to people or get to know people and I’m to be lonely in this world.

It’s good to find things to be greatful for, even the little things.

Sorry I not very positive today, I’m interested in your thoughts on there being something bigger? And how we can learn from situations. How do you think I can learn from mine

[Starrlight in reply to Tigerlilly7]

Yes things to be grateful for is good, and I think the bigger than myself is God but my faith isn’t the strongest. I think we can both learn to be compassionate towards ourselves. Try to put us first with care. Love ya!

[samack in reply to Starrlight]

I feel unable to see there is a greater plan too. Maybe there isn't any for some of us. But we keep on trooping. Question: what is the line between self compassion and self pity? That is to say, having self compassion without positive thinking developed. Positivity is harder for me to attain.

[Starrlight in reply to Tigerlilly7]

Look at everything as a teaching ask what good can I take away from this situation…and deep healing through nature or in creative work you do like art or writing…

[fauxartist]

Our world of depression leads us often down a path of despair and a feeling of a loss of hope. It's just the nature of the beast. And wanting it to end is understandable... who wants to feel this way. But you keep sharing kiddo... keep putting it out there for support to know your not alone.

I had to change up some routines to get myself out of the drudgery of the daily blahs of fighting the good fight of living with Long Covid and depression. And it ain't easy to battle insult to injury at my age. Nobody has the answers for me, or the solution for me, only I can make the choices to do something different. I have had to take more meds to help with the health issues, but that also helps to curb the added weight to my existing condition when I feel better health wise. I didn't do anything for years but work, it's all I knew... I lost myself when I could no longer do that... I had to find my own solutions to help with a temporary situation. My first love was art... so I found something I could do with my current limitations. It's not a cure-all... but it's positive and helps me tremendously. Find your niche...do something that makes you happisher...even for a while.

I just kept reaching out... and that was the key...

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

Awesome share. I so appreciate you and hearing your story. Maybe I will get back into art but for now I write. Love ya!

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

Writing is good... very good... I'm watching a documentary of this guy who spent 10 years on the street, and years in prison, and then out of the blue wrote a bestseller autobiographical about his life... so... there ya go... we just never know until we try.

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

Wow! Beautiful what’s the name of the documentary?

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

It's on Netflix called : Barbaric Genius

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

Thanks! ❤️

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

❤️

[Midori]

Don't try to force yourself into a belief system, let it come naturally. Do some research first to see what fits your mindset best.

Cheers, Midori

[Starrlight in reply to Midori]

❤️