… life might be trying to teach me the same lesson again

[Bentleybexley39]

I have calmed down, took 6 days but I am calm and in my depressed mind. I think I repeated a past life mistake and I’m just now realizing it. In 2016 I reported my manager to HR for many things and the retaliation from HR about killed me. All said and done she moved to a new department and I kept my job but the whole department turned on me. The whole situation took a huge mental tole to the point I had to take 12 weeks of FMLA leave. That decision to report her changed my entire view on my life and how I view and interpret everything. And I feel like my choice to do that ruined everything

Well…. I have been mentally and emotionally beaten down by the marketing team at my new job to the point of screaming at the top of my lungs and shaking from the anger and crying for hours in my closet. Last week I snapped. I sent a reply all email them and my boss requesting to be pulled from the project due to their blatant attacks and harassment. Their treatment and disrespect has severally shown itself as mental and emotional abuse. I also stated that it goes against the company code of contact and values (provided hyperlinks).

My boss pulled me from the project and talked with me multiple times that day. Saying he supported me and he would get me off their projects and he was glad I copied them on the email I sent. He made me feel like he had my back.

Friday was quiet but I had stuff to do. Then yesterday I still didn’t hear from him but had an impromptu meeting with HR. And I found out that he is the one who reported it. He still won’t talk to me, like at all. Not even about my other projects.

Based off of what happened last time. When management pulls back they are building a case to use against you …. So I think I’m fucked again. I have emails, screenshots, and voice recordings < all things I learned from the past experience. They are to short staffed to fire me, at least that is what it looks like and what others have said, but I’m new (7 months in) and easy to toss. I have documentation that on 3/3 I verbally expressed my concerns to my boss about that team. And his response “make them your best friends.” Ummm I’m sorry, that is not what should have been said.

I am not a trouble maker. But when he had many many chances to put them in their place and defend me or show support he didn’t. So I made a choice in anger. But, if I didn’t I would be crying in my closet right now from the additional abuse and pressure they attack me with. So now I’m depressed and paranoid. Mental illness is a bitch. Idk what to do.

So…. I’m on my own against the HR department of a Fortune 500 company… this looks like I majorly fucked up. I hate this job and have since I started in January. All my past posts prove that, but I need a job for money. So I’m waiting to see what kind of attacks will be thrown at me this time. HR is never there for the employee which is why I went to my boss rather than HR. So he fucked me with that first move….

I’m working on my resume because this doesn’t look like anything positive will come my way

Is there an angel who has HR experience on how I can get through this?

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Oh dear. I'm so very sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how attacked and lonely you feel in all this. No advice from me other than to validate your feelings. They are all very real. (Btw, good for you for admitting your mistake.👏 Doing this speaks volumes about your character)