sad

[Mommy101]

I know my mom has depression and anxiety and rarely leaves the house The last few years has been tough for her. She always says she is fine, but I know better. She has shared some of her issues and then I worry. I feel I should just distance myself from her, so I don't want to worry more or should I just send her weekly messages to her and tell her some uplifting stories of what I have been doing and letting her know I care and send her a love emoji. ?

[Mommy101]

Thank you. I think I think about only me and how it makes me feel and not her, who has always been my biggest fan

[Willow2022]

As a mom with depression and anxiety I worry all the time about how it effects my kids. I think mine are a bit younger than you so it changes the dynamic a bit but the recommendation is still the same: remind her you love her, remember her illness is not her fault just reach out once in a while. Sometimes knowing someone is out there that cares about you when your illness tells you that you are worthless is the most important thing.

[Mommy101 in reply to Willow2022]

I am 36 and single and have my own home. Never had kids, and she reminds me of that. I have not walked in her shoes, nor has she walked in mine. She lost 2 of my brothers. One to colon cancer and one to opiode addiction. I lost them too and we have talked about it. We both grieved. Me as a sister and her as a mother. Too very different experiences. I guess That as she ages, I will some day face the day that I lose her

[Willow2022 in reply to Mommy101]

I am so sorry to hear that your differences seem to push a wedge between you. Grief is different for everyone and doesn’t have an expiration date. It okay to take care of yourself first. That is not being selfish, that is self care which is so so important.

[Mommy101 in reply to Willow2022]

But should stay in touch by posts or a phone call once in while to not cut off all from her? That would be worse for me not knowing what is going on?

[Willow2022 in reply to Mommy101]

I think that is up to you. Do you feel comfortable with a weekly text/phone call or is too much mentally? If so, stretch it out. I can tell you really care for your mom but you also have to care for yourself.

[Mommy101 in reply to Willow2022]

I was thinking just a post or an emoji, so she knows I am thinking about her

[Lizzo30]

Does she go online ? If so you could tell her about this site ?

[Mommy101 in reply to Lizzo30]

Yes she does. She does not know I am on this site. She is also on this site. We communicate thru facebook in private

[Lizzo30 in reply to Mommy101]

It's good she is connecting then

[Mommy101 in reply to Lizzo30]

She sends me positive posts of how she is doing and getting outside and is on her treadmill for a 1/2 mile per day for the last 4 weeks. I never reply. I don't know why

[Lizzo30 in reply to Mommy101]

She's your Mum and imo you should send her notes, ask her how she is and tell her how you are ,even.if she is depressed it doesn't mean you have to get depressed and worry

[Beta70 in reply to Mommy101]

Then I would congratulate her for making the effort, she will appreciate your support, how hard is that?

[Bella_lee]

Hi @Mommy101 I know it must be hard knowing how tough it has been for your Mom and really not knowing what to do to help her. I believe your Mom would really appreciate you sending her weekly messages and telling her some uplifting stories of what you have been doing and letting her know you care and send her a love emoji.

These are all wonderful things you could do that will be of immense benefit to your Mom.

My suggestion is anytime you think of your mom or worry about her, just do all the above and then trust that your act of love towards your Mom will be love seeds that grow into a beautiful garden of hope, comfort and strength for your Mom.

[Against_the_current]

It's really painful when moms are mentally sick. Mine is borderline with addiction. I go insane over her. Show her support but don't Treat her like she's sick. And support yourself. I was left broken