I don't know if this was a good idea... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I don't know if this was a good idea...

SilentSinger55
SilentSinger55

So, I'm having some issues again and my mom is threatening to send me back to treatment if it persists. (I'm 16 btw) Whenever I've had issues regarding my mental health, my mom has read my journals to try and get a sense of where I am emotionally. It's always bothered me because that is my personal business but this time, I think it might help. I won't go too far into it because I already made a post about it in the appropriate group, but I've been having some issues with eating and might be developing an eating disorder. My mom thinks I'm just trying to lose weight or get some attention so I wrote her a letter, in my own journal, about how I haven't been doing well for months. I also gave her permission to read anything I've written because it might help her understand me better. I don't know if this was a good idea because she might not even see it. If she does, she might get mad at me for not going to her when I wasn't doing well but I haven't had the best relationship with her for a while and I didn't feel safe going to her. I don't know. What do you think?

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I think that was brave and took a lot of courage to do. And smart. It’s important to let someone know what’s going on with you. Especially when it comes to mental health, ther is no joke. She cares about you and wants what’s best for you it may be hard to see it know because of your age now but as you get older you will appreciate her that you did. I think you need to try to reach out to her and talk to her about how you feel and possibly seek out a therapist someone to talk to. Just food for thought .

I am supposed to talk to my therapist in next week about what's going on but right now it's not really my choice. I don't really think I'm ready to seek help from my therapist and honestly don't feel that comfortable talking to her. Thank you, though. I really appreciate your thoughts!

Understood

Your mom should respect your boundaries. It's not okay to share feelings this way, I think.

I wrote poems and posted in social media. Most of them were sad or even suicidal. My mother and sister did read them, and like these posts (what a mockery). But they never talk to me about the poems. And once my sister was mad at me, because I “don't share my feelings with them”, she asked “Why are you so closed?!”. But my poems still are there. Why don't she ask me about the meanings of them? Why am I feeling like that? What does cause these thoughts? And so on.

I have the reasons why I never share feelings with my relatives, but this is another story.

So, if you donʼt discuss your feelings and thoughts, is this measure useful and really helps your mother to understand you?

I don't blame you. It's okay to seek out and try to understand what helps and what doesn't.

I think it is good that your wrote it down now hopefully she sees it. I know for me, it seems to be easier for me to write down what I am feeling than try to express them to others. I know of no one that is experiencing mental health so when I have tried to get people, especially those close to me, to understand it was a no go. I wish you nothing but the best of luck especially since you are so young and instead of enjoying life, you are fighting this battle.

I think that's a very sensible and mature idea of yours to write your Mum a letter and allow her to read your journey when you find it difficult to talk with her. Even if your Mum does get mad, it's probably because she's worrying about you and loves you very much even if she rarely or never tells you so. It might be wise to write in the journal or on the letter please don't get angry/mad/upset with me it makes me feel worse/makes matters worse. Please be calm with me it's more helpful. I don't want us to fall out/argue. Worth a try if you haven't already said that in letter/journal. Sometimes writing a letter is easier especially if you can express your feelings better on paper than speaking out. x

This was actually very helpful and I am actually going to be adding those things to the letter. Thank you!!❤

Hidden
Hidden

What do you mean about being safe?

SilentSinger55
SilentSinger55 in reply to Hidden

I guess the way my mom is approaching the situation doesn't really make me feel that she is going to react in a very positive way. She has a very aggressive way of approaching situations like these and I know its probably just her motherly instinct but it really does drive me away. She doesn't physically harm me, if that's what your asking. Thank you for the concern, though.❤

Hidden
Hidden

I think you need a third party who is neutral, which a therapist could b that person. She(he) can help you and give your mom insight. You might find it easier to talk to someone who doesnt know you. Give therapy a try.

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