Anyone have issues with flakes?

[puppyplaytime]

When someone flakes-out on me, I get really upset. My adrenaline goes up and I don't know how to react. Sometimes I've overreacted, and other times I wish I had stood up for myself more.

My parents raised me to show up on time, return phone calls, don't cancel at the last minute, etc., but it seems everybody flakes nowadays without giving it much thought. This has nothing to do with close relationships. It's mostly casual friends cancelling plans, people at work rescheduling meetings multiple times, people not getting back to me in time when I request something in order to do my job...

Anybody get really upset about that kind of stuff?...And if so, what do you attribute it to, and how do you deal with your stress?

[MadBunny]

Tell me about it. 🙄 I too was raised to do the same. It's second nature to me. It happens when dealing with businesses and organisations too. My husband had a situation where he was waiting for 6 weeks for a reply to his messages and e mails. He finally got an answer, and there were reasons for the delay , but they could have let him know earlier, out of politeness. There seems to be less consideration and respect for others these days- a lack of courtesy and good manners. Maybe times have changed and these things aren't so important to people these days. Is it deliberate? Or is it simply because they don't realise how their behaviour can impact on others ?Maybe it's because I'm getting older (I'm 65). I haven't found a solution except to try and keep calm and not let it get to me. Would it be worth trying to have a friendly word with your coworkers , explaining the difficulties they cause for you ? Could it be possible they're not aware of the problems they cause ?

[AnxiousSilver]

"My parents raised me to show up on time, "

Growing up.. I was raised to be on time to a tee.

If you aren't in the 5 min range, you better have a good reason.

.

My dad was huge on this, cuz he didn't have the patience to wait around.

& This was more along the line of meeting in person somewhere. Phone, email, ETC was a lot more relaxed.

But if 2 people in my family agree to meet at such and such place and at ______ time, you will be there. (or you better have one heck of an excuse)

That just how it always was in my family.

I think some of that was due to my dad's military training. IDK.

[Midori in reply to AnxiousSilver]

I think you are right. My father was Military, and was a stickler for manners.

Cheers, Midori

[AnxiousSilver]

"When someone flakes-out on me, I get really upset. My adrenaline goes up and I don't know how to react."

If it's a meet-up, then I don't blame you one bit.

Phone or email, that I can be relaxed on, cuz there are times (especially if I'm having a bad anxiety day) that I'm guilty of this myself.

.

"it seems everybody flakes nowadays without giving it much thought. "

I think a lot of it has to do with smartphones.

There's too much "attention grabbing with notifications" (BTW I try to keep most of mine off) that distract people.

.

I've said it before and I'll say it again PPT, "you and I" have lived life before and after the Internet was a thing, so both of us knows how the world works with or without it in our lives, and how it changed things after it became mainstream.

[MadBunny in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Me too.

[Midori in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Hear Hear!

[AnxiousSilver]

" It's mostly casual friends cancelling plans, people at work rescheduling meetings multiple times, people not getting back to me in time when I request something in order to do my job..."

If a casual friend is constantly doing that, then they aren't a "friend", they are an "acquaintance".

[puppyplaytime in reply to AnxiousSilver]

For sure. I'm giving them too much credit.

[Midori]

I don't think people are taught that if they observe the formalities people won't think less of them, but I think also that the more permissive methods of upbringing tend to breed entitled kids, who don't think the niceties apply to them.

Cheers, Midori