I believe I have social anxiety and I'd really just like to share my struggles.

[DemureRose]

So I'm going to start off by saying that I am new here. I have never done anything like this before but after I realized how much I am keeping bottled up I figured I needed an outlet. Again I say I have never shared my feelings like this so bear with me.

When I was a little girl I was always considered the shy and quiet girl. I always had my nose in a book and if I didn't know you, you wouldn't hear me talk. But people had it wrong. I was quiet yes but I wasn't really shy. I loved talking to my parents, cousins, and friends, just not strangers. My friends always joked that once I got comfortable I would never shut up. Stereotypically for a quiet girl, I had bad stage fright. I wouldn't get an upset stomach but I would dread any sort of play or assembly. That lasted for many years but has gotten better.

I started to notice that nervousness show up at inappropriate times around a two years ago. I was sitting in class around the second week of school and the time came for role call. It was Spanish class (obviously not my favorite) and we had to say "here" in Spanish. It was so stressful for me! I kept muttering the word over and over practicing how to say it. When the time came for me to say it, my heart was beating super fast and my hands were sweaty. Of course it was no big deal but I stayed in that condition the rest of class. This type of behavior happened when I had to walk to turn something in, answer a question in class or walk by someone in the hallways. I had to stop going out because I would just worry the entire time about anything and everything. Going out in public alone was out of the question because I just worried I'd be approached by a stranger. But I want to do things! I want to go hang out with friends without stressing. I want to go to the store alone without rehearsing casual conversational techniques. It was (and still is) very frustrating. I started to wonder what was wrong with me and began to look into anxiety disorders. I looked at every type and settled on social anxiety. The symptoms and thoughts were frighteningly exactly what I felt. I have not been professionally diagnosed, I know I should but its difficult. I am a very private and untrusting person. I don't share my thoughts or feelings with anyone so seeking help is hard for me. Maybe someday I will be able to get enough courage to do it.

I didn't plan on asking any questions but turns out I have some. First of all, anyone who has social anxiety, how do you cope? How do you handle social situations like proms or a night out with friends? Do you take medication and how much does it really help? What are some personal tips you have for managing it?

Sorry I rambled but it does feel so good to have just let all of this off my chest. Thanks.

[Tanklove]

First of all let me say that you have already made the first steps in finding help! You have reached out here in this support group and we are here to support you! I do not suffer from social anxiety so I cannot speak on the topic however I do know how hard it is to reach for help. Getting a proper diagnosis is very important. I find that learning what is going on mentally is important and aids in treating it. You have already started the first steps and by seeking professional help you are investing into yourself further. We are here to help you and give you that push you need to seek help! You can do it!

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome to you.

I’m glad you found us here.

I have social anxiety and it is very difficult.

So much for me stems around people, fear of being judged.

I coped for many years, not realising , thinking the way I was, that everyone was the same ,and to be fair it got much worse after a breakdown I had four years ago. For some reason it became much more highlighted, I am still learning about it all, and learning to manage it.,

I struggle around neighbours a lot, and can avoid going out if they are in the garden, some days are much worse than others, keeping me isolated. It is debilitation. The strange thing to me is that I can occasionally still go on trips alone, not all the time but I can do it, and I do. Out of my area I feel more comfortable, as the fear of seeing people I know, subsides when I’m out of town...there are many other things around social anxiety that affect me, family gatherings are so so difficult, just a visit can be so difficult.

I had to give up work four years ago due to having a break down, my job was extremely social, I travelled a fair bit and I was in a management position, a very stressful position...I gave talks to conferences, now I can’t believe I did that, looking back on it the anxiety I struggled with at theat time, I thought everyone felt the same, I now realise .not to that extent..

I’m working on the social anxiety constantly and finding out more as I go along. I feel like knowledge of it is power. It’s a work in progress.

This is a snippet of things in respect of me and social anxiety. There is so much more..I guess in lots of ways we can be very individual in it and how it affects us...I have dealt with different situations in different ways..some functions I have simply given apologies, as the anxiety around it would be too much and to make my early excuses has felt the best option. Others I’ve attended I have my ‘get out early’clause, or plan b...each invite can be a different scenarious. It has somewhat made me isolated. Only venturing near people on days I feel I could cope with the interaction ..because on a bad day if interaction doesn’t go well, I can ruminate about it for days and get so anxious I’m exhausted...so often avoidance of people is how I cope, it’s difficult.

I take medication for palpitations and high blood pressure , I guess these symptoms are as a result of social anxiety. I’ve had therapies, I’ve been in a course of mindfulness, which I feel is helpful. It takes time for that to help in any way. It helps me at night to go to sleep,

I hope it helps you being here,

Every good wish 🌹🌺🌹🌺

[DemureRose in reply to Hidden]

I waited too long to respond I’m sure but I was rereading some replies and I guess I missed yours 2 months ago. The way you explained how it was for you really helped me out because it made me get a better understand of it all. I really appreciate it. Thank you!

[lovedogs51511]

Hello and welcome to this wonderful site full of caring, understanding and helpful folks who have all great advice. I was also a very shy kid never speaking a word. I'm 46 almost and I'm now hiding in my condo most of the day. Since taking a bit of cbd oil my depression is lessened and anxiety is still bad but I can go outside

[lovedogs51511 in reply to lovedogs51511]

Oops sent that on accident. I can go outside now but its hard. You may not be this bad but I've been seriously crippled with horrific anxiety since very little. Since around 3 or 4. 40 years of hiding. Wasting my life away. Iv e been sexually molested and picked on by ppl since around daycare on. Even as an adult. That does horrible things to my anxiety levels. Personally I'm sick of ppl but yet I'm still nice to everyone. I cannot figure out why I give ppl my time. I love everyone on here. This is been a blessing to talk with others dealing with the same issues. You'll never feel alone on here. We're all on here to give and receive help from others. Sorry for rambling. Good luck getting help from a Dr and hope you feel better soon!! Have a nice day😄✌

[hopeful0907]

I remember those feelings well and still struggle with social anxiety when in large crowds of people. I think it is awesome that you are opening up, and that is a huge step in the right direction so BRAVO!!!!! Some of the things I do is practice deep breathing, it helps to stay calm. When it comes to conversation, try to relax and let others do most of the talking, most people really only want to be heard. When you speak just remember you are not obligated to go deep so keep it casual, weather, interests, ect. I allowed my anxiety to keep me away from people and events for a LONG time and I wish I hadn't! I promise if you reach out to a professional you will not regret it. I got counseling and it really changed my life! I do not have to take medication, but it is a good option for some because sometimes anxiety is related to imbalances in the brain. One thing about anxiety is it shows up whenever it wants and keeps coming back stronger, so getting help early is helpful. You sound like a great person, don't let this thing define you, take the steps you need to tame the beast.