He comes into town for work almost every Monday. We have spent nearly every Monday evening/night together since November…. It’s like we click and get each other. Then Tuesday morning comes, he is not the same as the night before. I feel hurt every Tuesday, not used. Hurt. Because it will be 6 days until I even get a text from him or if I do it’s pictures and videos of him showing off with friends having an amazing time. He knows I’m not on social media, it’s like he is sending me his highlight reel of all the good things. And I feel hurt, because I know I’m not on his mind at all. He just wants to show off and brag like he does on social media. He never texts to just say “hi, how’s your day going?” Never “thinking about you.” Never “I miss you.” I’m not a thought…. Ever
Last night he said he does better communicating with people in person…. Ummm I see him less than 24h a week. So that’s all the communication I get. *side note - he is NOT married.
Tuesdays are hard because it’s makes me believe that everything he said on Monday was a lie, and then not hearing from him or seeing him for another week makes me believe even more that it was all a lie. On Mondays he tells me “he is gonna fly in and take me to this cool place or we will go here and there.” He pulls out his phone and starts looking at flights like he is really gonna do it. And he never does. He tells me how great I’m doing in my new job. He pumps me up with so much self confidence and I like who I am around him. But…. Then Tuesday comes.
This Tuesday pain has been going on for the last few months. He told me that he sees that I’m trying to push him away; when in reality I’m trying to protect myself from the pain. I believe that actions speak louder than words and because of that, I wake up on Tuesday with the realization that Monday was a lie. And I have to deal with the pain of my expectations being shredded just like the week before. Getting over and working through the hurt is easier when I am slammed with work. But at night I lay in bed and think back to the night before, and I don’t smile… I’m sad.
Everyone wants to be wanted. To be thought of. To not feel forgotten or alone. No one wants for someone to walk away and not even look back….. and he never looks back.
I know I am internalizing this so much. And have created a Narrative in my head of irrational fears from past trauma and strong abandonment issues…. I have come close many times to just canceling things. But I’m lonely, and he is incapable of being alone ever. He wants to do stuff and I want to experience new things, so the Mondays work for us….. it’s just the Tuesdays… where I force myself back to the mundane life I live……
He left me because of my depression... I’m 20 and he is 27
My ex messaged me
Don’t know what to do 
always here just to vent .
Severe attachment problems in relationships
