Kind of new here

[BastCat]

I've had horrible anxiety and depression for years and lately discovered I have heart failure along with a bunch of other problems. Doctors say I'm too young to be having these problems and don't fit any of the (so called) profiles but that doesn't make anything better. I think they mean well but saying things the wrong way. My mother said something to me today..."If you had a more positive attitude you would start feeling better." I don't know how she could say that. I don't know which is worse, her insensitivity, the horrible hurt or the extreme anger I got from it.

Besides the other problems I mentioned I also have severe neuropathy, dental & eyesight problems, tinnitus and other things caused from the mixtures of chemo I had years ago. I'm in horrible pain all the time and can't have anything for pain other than Tylenol because of the recently detected heart failure which they also say is late side effects of the chemo. Things were bad enough but now living the last year has been even worse since the heart failure. Taking several different heart meds, having to measure all my fluids input and output. Taking blood pressure twice a-day and weighing myself everyday. Eating the same few completely saltless foods every day for the last year, writing down and measuring practically everything I do is drive me crazy. I don't get more than an hour's sleep per day and I can't have any medication for sleep because of my heart. They tried me on a couple different and SSRI's and those didn't help a bit but also backfired. Now I also have bad akathisia and withdrawals from that and don't have any support. I did manage to make it out of my house for about the 4th time in a year and a doctor gave me klonopin to take 2 mg before bedtime and that's not helping me sleep and taking 1 mg during the day which seems to be making me more anxious. Does any of this make any sense? I live alone. Can't even talk on the phone the anxiety is so bad so when I do communicate with my mother it's by text or email even though she lives 5 minutes away. I don't have a life and already feel dead inside if there wasn't so much extreme anxiety and turmoil inside my head all the time. I break down crying, break down laugh. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not looking for sympathy but I don't see any hope or answers. I never knew what Akathisia was but the extreme restlessness and agitation got so much worse when that started and those are some of the side effects.

but

Basically I'm just wondering If I should be feeling all this constant anxiety and anger and depression 24 hours every day and am I overreacting to what my mother said?

Is everything I've written split up? I don't think it's my phone I think it's this app because the same thing was happening yesterday and hasn't been happening anywhere else. Sorry.

[Starrlight]

((((((((BastCat))))))) ❤️

[Louie35]

I'm sorry you are going through this, reach out to people you trust, open up!!! Its important for you to be proactive, see if you can find any help with social services, find a support group, tell your doctors everything and ask your mom for help, tell her how you feel, your struggles!!! Don't carry all of this alone!!!

[PapaDocs]

I am sorry for what you are going through, BastCat. The conditions are a bit overwhelming. I do not want to give you a false hope but I saw a documentary years back about people with debilitating conditions turn around with a really good vegetarian diet. I think they tried it in Australia and people who joined in the program lost some of their conditions but it took around five years. The effects of the chems might be reversed over time. Please do not be offended, I just want to help. You might want to experiment with growing your own organic food. Medications might help in the short time but a healthy lifestyle in the long run is really the best medicine of all.