Trigger warning: a suicide and bad ptsd dream

[Starrlight]

I have to get this out. I dreamt about my youngest having a noose around his neck and I screamed for him to take it off. I was so mad and sad.

In real life which seems like a dream on a Spring night my brother ended it by hanging himself.

So I think I am worried in waking life subconsciously that my kids will do something to hurt themselves or be in trouble. And I feel a loss of control over it.

The weird part about the dream though was it was like my son was taunting me with his actions, by messing around with the noose where I could see him. But I think that is because he likes to trick people and be funny.

Thanks for listening.

[c-mac]

That sounds troubling. Sleep is supposed to be helping -- what is this?!

Just reassuring you that there is no relationship between that one momentarily bad choice in the past and the bright future of your son.

[Starrlight in reply to c-mac]

Thank you. I guess it’s like my biggest fear. I am still grieving I guess since it’s around the death date.

What do you mean what is this?

[Roxylox in reply to Starrlight]

Maybe too much Magnesium?

[Starrlight in reply to Roxylox]

Hmmm okay thanks

[c-mac in reply to Starrlight]

"What is this" -- I meant, "How dare you, Sleep, to not be restful and restorative!" Just jokingly giving Sleep a hard time for giving us bad dreams.

[Starrlight in reply to c-mac]

Haha I love it 😆

[Potter123]

That sounds really scary, I'm sorry you had to go through that, despite being a dream.

[Starrlight in reply to Potter123]

Yeah at least it was only a dream.

[Against_the_current]

I understand having ptsd Dreams. They're so draining. But when awake we make sence of them and realise it's the ptsd. I'm so sorry you're there too. Hugs

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

Yeah I don’t actually now that I think of it consider any dream to be bad since they are here to teach and heal

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

I felt this

[Starrlight]

Thank you. How can I get rid of the fear? I think I’ll meditate more like before bed. It’s hard but the more the easier it gets. Any other suggestions?

[Starrlight]

Thank you that all sounds amazing. I will do that. ❤️🌟🥰🌈🌹🌼

[Starrlight]

I just got in from watching the thunderstorm which was so calming to me and put on grapefruit and tangerine luxury body cream. It smells amazing snd feels amazing. Lights dimmed no tv virtual school stuff put away for the night. I feel so good.

[Survivor1687]

((((starrlight)))) here if you ever want somebody to talk to or even just to vent to. I know what it feels like to have dreams of these nature. I'm sorry u had to experience that. Here for you anytime. 💜

[Starrlight in reply to Survivor1687]

Thanks! I’m wondering about what tonight will bring. I thought about some pressing situations that are bothering me and I am worried about a friend I think I may have messed up and hurt her. I just keep having stressor after stressor ugh

[Survivor1687 in reply to Starrlight]

Understandable. Just know that I'm here, only a message away if and when you need support. 💜