Lexapro or zoloft

[Joshgw]

I have a real dilemma. Any help greatly appreciated. I'm dumping trintellix b/c causing suicidal ideation. Was on lexapro a yr ago, but left b/c it was so deadening but it kept me at a baseline. But also tons of depressive paralysis/inertia and caused lots marital issues. In the end I couldn't wait to get off it and started to hate it. it was so liberating when it did. I finallt felt like me. Thinking of trying zoloft hoping it's brighter and less inertia. Problem: I know lexapro will get rid of suicidal ideation. Not sure zoloft will, but if it does, everything else is gravy. What do I do? I'm really lost and confused. I'm afraid zoloft might not get rid of the suicidal ideation but it could be better for everything else. What do people think. Is zoloft worth the risk? Anyone have suicidal ideation on zoloft?

[Dragonfly_50]

I actually did the reverse and dumped the Zoloft for Lexapro. Zoloft did absolutely nothing for me and I tried for over a year. I’ve been on Lexapro for about 3 months so I don’t know that I have a lot of solid input but I have had less of what I term “pits of despair.” I don’t think of it as suicidal ideations in my case, but more like a week to 2 weeks a month of feeling like nothing was ever going to get better, that each day was like a huge boulder to lift up off my body, and I wondered what it took to actually push someone to the end of what they could handle, afraid that it could sneak up on me like it has to some others, really scared because I felt like what it I was there and didn’t know it? That has lessened to a huge degree on Lexapro but I think some of my problems stem from hormones and peri menopause given the time frames. The other 2 or 3 weeks of the month were not roses and happiness outside of the pits of despair, but I could move, altho whether on Zoloft or Lexapro or any other med I’ve tried, the anxiety is still there. They are overwhelming and panic attacks altho less severe, are still here. I think I need hormone replacement therapy but I can’t because I have a history of unprovoked blood clots. Not that hormones are going to solve all my issues but I’m grasping at straws. Obviously every medication is metabolized and affects each person differently so what works for one may not for another. My psychiatrist and I decided to do the gene site testing. I go in next week and get my cheek swabbed and they send it to a lab and it tells you what meds metabolize to what degree, etc. and gives some added insight into what meds are going to probably work better for you and what ones would probably be less effective etc. Obviously it can’t solve everything but it gives insight into how your body will react to different meds. Personally I’m hoping this will be my hallelujah moment for lack of a better term. Can you ask your doctor about doing the gene site testing? It might provide you with some valuable information about what meds might be better suited to you? I’m on 10 mg on Lexapro and I do feel some benefit but my anxiety is ever present and I feel like I don’t have the desire to do much except lay on the couch and accomplish the bare minimum but the pits of despair have largely decreased. Those were bad, unexplainably bad but I’d give anything to be rid of this constant anxiety, the constant panic. I’m better on Lexapro than Zoloft personally but I need to be better than this. Crossing my fingers on the gene site testing.

[Joshgw in reply to Dragonfly_50]

Thanks for your input. Just goes to show you how everyone is different. On lexapro all I did was sit on the couch and feel like I couldn't do anything. I felt like I was just existing. It was not a life. It was good for my anxiety, but I didn't feel like me. It was so liberating to leave. But then I went on Mirtazipine and became manic and they haven't been able to stabalise me ever since. As long as zoloft takes away the suicidal Ideation I'm no worse off, I'm hoping better. And yes, I did the gene testing

[Dragonfly_50 in reply to Joshgw]

I’d give it a try then. I hope it works for you, no one deserves these feelings. Can I ask what kind of info you got from the gene site testing? I only know what I mentioned about metabolism. Did you find anything really useful?

[Joshgw in reply to Dragonfly_50]

I did the genesight. Not sure how accurate it was. Just took the zoloft. Knocked me on my ass. Can't make it to work because I can't keep my eyes open. Dr said I should have done the lexapro b/c it was a known quantity. Just that the paralysis and inertia by sitting on the couch caused a lot of problems in my marriage because I didn't get off the couch. And it kind of numbed me. Like it gave me a baseline but I had no joy and took out the highs. Everything was "flattened ". In the end I couldn't stand it and dropped it. I was just existing, not a "life" very liberating when I left. I was on it for 13 years. But I so don't like the way zoloft making me feel. I'm transitioning from trintellix so it's actually 1/2 dose from zoloft and 1/2 dose trintellix. I know I need to give it more than just one day but I have no patience

[Joshgw]

And it wasnt just the suicidal ideation on trintellix, it was the constant sobbing and depressive/emotional pain that was incredibly unbearable

[Dragonfly_50]

I feel for you. On the Lexapro all I want and mostly do is lay on the couch. I obviously do things like go to Dr appointments and order groceries, feed my kids, etc. They’re teenagers so they are self sufficient to a large degree. But like you said, what kind of life is that? That’s existing not living. And I think about the future and what my kids will remember about their childhood/teen years and this is it? Ugh. Not what I want. “Mom laid on the couch, she was ok sometimes and crying other times…” are those the memories I’ll leave them with someday? I’m also inching close to a deadline for a project I got involved in because I can’t say no and I’ve done nothing to further my end yet. I am also on meds because I need both knees replaced and I can’t get clearer for surgery because I keep clotting & they don’t know why. To top it all off, it’s just me as the adult , my divorce (well needed in my case) hadn’t gone through yet, he’s got no interest in the most beautiful kids ever (I’m biased and I broke my foot 2 weeks ago when I had Covid despite my couch potato persona now and always masking etc. My foot isn’t healing, I have a lymph node problem from Covid (not the injections, which I had long ago but the actual disease, which my doctor said is being found more and more) and constant pain in my knees. Oh, and the intermittent anxiety and panic. I’m sorry I’m definitely not trying to minimize your struggles, just that you have someone right here who gets it 100%. I hope things get better for you. I really do.

[Joshgw in reply to Dragonfly_50]

Thanks for your kind note. It's nice to know that someone understands how I felt on lexapro too. I'm sorry to hear about your other issues besides depression. Depression is bad enough but to deal with other things on top of that must be very difficult. I just found out I have vestibular migraines and drop foot. Basically I can't lift my left foot up off the ground (like to tap my foot up and down). I have some nerve damage in my left leg causing it but I have no idea where it came from. I have to wear a brace that's pretty uncomfortable. The only thing I can do is physical therapy.

Thanks again, nice to hear someone else share my lexapro experience.

Josh