Anxious

[Gamergirl33]

Me and my mom get into argument about me Getting a job but it makes me so anxious to even schedule a interview I just ignore all the calls I get to do so any advice?

[forever_blue]

Hi Gamergirl33,

I understand what you're going through. I went through something like this too. During my final year in college, all students sat for placements but I didn't. I was terrified that I would have to go through a round of group discussion and multiple interviews (all involving being around people and requiring me to be confident and intelligent, areas that I felt I was certainly lacking in). Unfortunately, this went on for a while, either I would not apply for a job or if I applied, I would lie that due to change in circumstances I was no longer looking for a job. As you can imagine, over the time it took a toll on my self-esteem (which wasn't much to begin with). But today, I have a job and not only that I actually like my work. Connecting with people is still hard but it's better than before. Let me tell you what worked for me:

1. My sister (she calls herself my guardian angel) supported me throughout the job process once she saw that I was struggling. She reminded me that I had achievements in my life that I should be proud of. She was constantly there to hold my hand whenever I felt scared that I couldn't do it.

2. Baby steps: For every step in the job applying process I gave myself a lot of time. For example, I gave myself an entire week to polish my resume. Moreover, I knew I would not be able to handle a lot of pressure so I only applied to 3-5 jobs per week.

3. Whenever I received a call from an unknown number, I would assume that it is for a job and take a deep breath before answering it. I also made some notes that I could talk about during that first round of telephonic interview.

4. I ensured that there was no group discussion round because I knew I will not be able to speak during that.

5. I know it goes without saying but preparing thoroughly for a job interview really helps (as there are many common questions that are repeated in all the interviews). It made me feel like I had some control.

6. This one is a bit funny but I saw this on TED talk, doing a power pose before an interview also helped (at least I think it did).

And again, I don't even know how many times I called my sister, almost in tears because I was afraid. But she always told me that I am a lot stronger than my anxiety.

I'm sorry for writing such a long post. I got a bit carried away writing about my experience. I genuinely hope this helps but just in case it doesn't please know that you're not alone in this!

[Gamergirl33 in reply to forever_blue]

Thanks I appreciate it I talk to my best friend but she doesn’t have anxiety so she doesn’t understand and most of this jobs are just warehouse jobs I just haven’t had a job since last august which probably isn’t helping the situation just make me more anxious

[forever_blue in reply to Gamergirl33]

Hi, I wish I knew the right thing to say but unfortunately, I don't. I do know that sharing with someone who doesn't understand anxiety is always tough. I too had a long gap in between my employments and it was difficult to overcome. I hope everything works out your way soon! While I might not be able to provide a solution, just know that I'm here to listen and support you, if you want.

[Gamergirl33]

Thanks I appreciate it it is nice to talk to someone who can understand