anxious.

[emg2806]

so i’m new to this group since today, not sure how to “introduce” myself or anything. i’m just someone who within the last 10 months has been through a lot. im 29 and i’m a single mom of 2 daughters, one of which has ASD. everything with a diagnosis is so confusing and stressful especially when family doesn’t agree and your scheduling therapy by yourself while working full time. i put myself into a hole with always being on the go to make sure my daughter is progressing with speech. i came to see none of my friends were there for me like i thought they would be. i started to feel alone and more anxiety started. not realizing months and months went by and no one seems to reach out or see how i’m doing when i feel like i did a lot at times when people needed someone. i’ve been going to therapy for about a year which is good but at the end of the day she’s the only person i can actually tell things to once a week. she said for me to come and reach out on places like this to realize i’m not alone and there are people who are going through maybe the same stuff as me. i always feel like when i would speak to my friends about my problems it was the same issues over and over and maybe that’s what drove them away. maybe me not going out all the time or me just wanting the attention of someone to care is making me push people away to see who really cares? me sitting here waiting for someone to text me to see if i’m ok isn’t going to happen, and the more the people who i thought were my friends don’t reach out is when i mentally go back into a hole because i have no one who understands me or anything that i’m going through. i sit in my 4 walls and just think and everything makes me sad. i just wanna be that happy person. i want to have friends or just that one person i could relate to.

i just let out a sigh of relief after writing that. idk if i wrote it for a response but i know it did feel good to get that off my chest even if noone reads it. thanks for listening and if i related to someone i wouldn’t mind talking just to vent. i’m hoping i could help someone even if no one can help me.

[Agora1]

Hi emg2806, oh did you come to the right place to be understood and comforted x

We have all felt the loneliness of friends and even family turning away because of

their not understanding what our problem is. How can we look well and yet are

frozen in fear which no one can see. I so Welcome you to this great group of men

and women alike from all over the world. This will become your safe place to come

to whether it's to vent, ask a question or just chat.

I'm glad you are here with us. You will no longer be alone. xx

[emg2806 in reply to Agora1]

thank you !

[Hidden]

Thanks for your honesty & welcome to this forum. Isolation is common in depression & anxiety & illness. I know you’re not ill. Your child’s ASD is a disorder and being single parent doing is alone with another child is a whole lot to carry. I’m glad you have a therapist. I have had many health issues and it put me through severe stress and shutting down in every way. Burn out. Over the years losing friends I thought would be by my side as I was there for them. To find yourself not included or understood by family members getting angry wanting to believe waiting for the phone ... I think that killed my heart honestly when I look back at who I was to them. We’d hen I worked I worked with ASD I know what it’s like as well.

I don’t know if giving you advice is right so I’ll give you thoughts. Always take care of yourself first for your mental health whenever you can. However you can. Letting go because it’s survival build your own kingdom with where what you have now & supports if you have respite. Hopefully you can treat yourself out for coffee at a coffee shop they’ll get to know you after awhile a sense of belonging places. Hopefully at lunch you can leave work to be on your own once in awhile to breathe. Hopefully meeting other parents in your position eventually making room for you. Take it day by day and believe in yourself and a big hug. You’re amazing. I truly mean that.

[emg2806 in reply to Hidden]

thank you for your thoughts. “always take care of yourself first for your mental health whenever you can” that just spoke volumes. we always tend to lose ourselves in other people or other things in life. life just spins out of control sometimes.

[Hidden in reply to emg2806]

You’re welcome. I have it written on my fridge so I have to read it daily. I failed in this area a few times and though I know I was failed by doctors as I had have real health issues missed. I have no money dunno how I’ll hold on but trying I wasn’t like this before. I know normal just not for a long time. Only friend on yourself and your kingdom and fill it with trusted people some will still leave rotate out. As women we lose ourselves easier than men like it’s expected of us now & being home bacon do house & all other stuff I don’t have kids or a husband but was married and have sisters doing just that. Just take care of you so you can be a friend too

[crowningglory19]

It is hard alone and I am praying for you. Many friends don't realize you are alone and all of them backed away, not realizing everyone else was doing that too. They can not carry your burden and and don't know what to say sometimes. So, it is good you are here! Many will understand and help carry it all with you. Some things that have helped many are the following: Taking magnesium and ginseng is great for you and your family, they calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts. B Complex is great for the good kind of energy and focus for you and your children, incl. your child with ASD.

Many get away from white grains since they mess w the mind and body in a negative way, esp focus and energy. Also, finding like minded people thru volunteering a bit is wonderful, even tho I know you don't have the time or energy, it is actually a great way for your children and you to get involved in something that helps all of you as you are helping others. Prioritize your time and activities and get rid of the ones that don't help anyone and are stealing time from more important things. God bless you and give you wisdom. <3

[emg2806 in reply to crowningglory19]

thank you i appreciate your comments. a lot of my friends did mention that “they dk what to say sometimes” which i understand but i just need to vent sometimes esp when things are heavy. i feel like the anxiety definitely started a lot more when my friends left. i’m definitely going to look up taking different vitamins to boost up my energy bc i need that. thank you again for responding!

[crowningglory19 in reply to emg2806]

You're welcome! I do hope you start the vits I suggested as they will help a lot! Blessings, dear!