Who even gives a damn?

[Lostinside]

I've been feeling kinda pissed and angry and annoyed today and I suppose I figured out why. No one seems to give a damn lately not even my partner. I know he's been super busy lately with touring with his band and I don't blame him but I wish people would pay more attention to me. I had a very rough week with a mental breakdown, a horrible doctor's visit and a lot of work. I got new meds for my lungs after I reacted badly to my first inhaler. I haven't really slept in a week either. However no one even asked how I'm doing. Not a single soul asked me if I'm reacting OK to the new meds, how working out is going with my lungs, how work and uni are, how I'm doing mentally after that horrific week, if I have been sleeping, if Im eating OK (I tend to barely eat and a handful of people know). The people around me and my partner aren't horrific people. I just wish I would feel like I matter. I feel superfluous which doesn't help my mental state at all. I'm starting to become passively suicidal but nothing too difficult. Maybe I'm just being a drama queen who wants attention who knows

[Marysblue]

I have the same thoughts a lot of times. No one ever ask how I'm doing either. It really bothers me when I'm getting depressed. But people mostly want you to tell them, i think, they don't want to have to ask.It is a shame but that's the world we live in, people are so distracted and they've got their own depression and stress after all the world's been through lately.

I will ask you . How are you doing? How are you reacting to your meds and are you sleeping okay?

There's just a huge lack of empathy right now in this world as far as I can tell, people are consumed with their own problems.

[Lostinside in reply to Marysblue]

I get it. It's just stuff that will eventually send me over the edge. It feels like I don't matter even a single bit. Not even my family asks me how I am. My mother recently got diagnosed with lung issues as well and how difficult it is, yet she never seems to make the connection I have the same problem. When I tell people hey I'm unwell and things are tough it just feels like I'm an attention wh***.

I'm not sure how I'm doing. Not well I guess. A bunch of pain and things are hard. I'm reacting better to these meds than the ones before. My doctor didn't believe anyone could react that strongly to a low dose asthma inhaler. I'm still not really sleeping. Loads of waking up and nightmares.

Thank you

[Marysblue in reply to Lostinside]

You are so welcome.I have a lot of nightmares and trouble sleeping sometimes, it's miserable . And it can make you more depressed and sensitive.

I think a lot of times people just forget to ask and I've even noticed that I sometimes forget what I should have asked someone else about. Depression makes us take

everything personally.

I'm so glad you're doing better on your new meds. I hope your pain and your depression gets better.

[Tara52]

I care! Sending you hugs!🤗 I don't think you are being selfish. We all need love and attention especially when not feeling well. I wouldn't hold onto any resentment towards your partner though. He may need time to refresh his energies by enjoying the band. Is he usually attentive to you? Hang in there and find some new ways to nourish yourself when others aren't available. I hope you get some needed rest.💕

[Lostinside in reply to Tara52]

Especially in person he is super affectionate and loving. I know touring has been hard on him. Anyhow I confronted him today and told him that especially today it really bothers me how little interest he's showing in my life and my health. Told him I'm not mad at him and I really understand how tough being on the road can be, just that I can't take being there for him today. You could really here his mind going "oh f..." cause he didn't realize how big of a challenge it this behavior can be for someone. He was sorry. I'm glad he took it so well. Especially after my mother came crying to me about being sick I really blew up a bit when my partner ignored what I said and moved on to talking about himself today.

[Midori]

It's one of those things which happen.

Right now, people are worried for themselves, with food shortages, rising prices in the supermarkets, Filling stations, services and utilities, and they just forget about other people and their needs.

Been there, done that, Teeshirt, DVD etc.

Been no contact with my daughter since I moved.

When things like this happen, we need to grow a thick skin, say ' Nuts to the lot of you!' and do our best to hang on until things in the world get easier.

I had to get very angry at myself to be able to do this. I was a widow at 43, with two children under school age and I was going bananas. I had an abusive marriage for 15 years, and when he found I'd started Divorce proceedings, he suicided. Then his family started on me.

I was up to the eyeballs in antidepressants and things to make me sleep, things to make me wake up, You know the score, I am sure.

I had two very young kids to keep up for, but I was sinking. That little voice in the mind saying you aren't good enough, never have been, never will be. One morning I woke up and realised it was my husband's voice, and his words all along.

So I talked to the voice and told it to mind it's own business and get out of my head. I cussed and screamed at it till it left, and I told it to never come back. It did, of course, repeatedly, but I just repeated how I'd told it to go, and repeated it until it no longer bothers me. Took about a year to get rid of it, but I managed. Off all medication except painkiller, and those I get over the counter.

I don't rely on anyone else for my peace of mind.

I have successfully reared my kids solo, My daughter is now 35, married with a husband and 13 year old son. I own my own bungalow in Wales, and life is peaceful.

My son is my carer, as I am disabled and OLD, so I can't do a vast amount.

Cheers, Midori

[Marysblue in reply to Midori]

great story of victory

[Midori in reply to Marysblue]

Not really, It took over 30 years!

But, I was always an awkward customer.

Cheers, Midori

[Daveacr1959]

Many people are helped by guided deep breathing exercises with breath holds, free on you tube. Many many people with insomnia are helped by cool showers a couple hours before bed . 2 I know personally, take a 8 minute pure cold shower in the morning. And the same thing 2 hours before bed. They start on cool rinse and lower the temperature a tiny bit each week. Exhale slowly is the key to staying in the water. First 2 minutes are the worst, and then it’s easy. And the beauty of it is the results are immediate! No waiting 2 weeks. It’s just deep breathing exercises and cool water. You can do it! Then lower the temperature. The colder you can go the better the results. The deep breathing exercises with breath holds are like exercises. And we know how good we feel after exercise. The cold water shocks the brain and body into releasing chemicals. Dopamine, endorphins, seratonin, adrenaline and 2 more I can never remember. I’m getting ready to do it now. I haven’t missed a day in 6 months. I’m addicted and my water is 40 degrees. Sometimes life gives us too much. That’s what happened to me 2-1/4 years ago. And this is helping me find my way back.

[Midori in reply to Daveacr1959]

Wouldn't suit me, I am cold even when people are in swimwear! I'm sure I have a faulty thermostat!

[Daveacr1959 in reply to Midori]

I used to be that way. Living in phoenix az since 1979. Nobody hates the cold more than us. But when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, I had to get out of my comfort zone.

[Jorja70]

I am right there with you in knowing how people don't care that you are here, walking on this earth. For years I thought I had care, close friends that I matter to but I now know, I AM ALONE! I have lived in my apartment for almost 6 years. There is only one friend and one relative that has visited me. That friend is only here rarely. My husband died 5 years ago and I am alone. I have 2 cats but they only want me when they need something. My doctor tells me I need to quit smoking but my depression won't let me. I am diabetic and I'm suppose to give up a lot of things but sometimes my depression won't let me. I am retired from work because of a bad back. That feeds my depression. I am in a vicious cycle. I have almost come to begging for attention, but I haven't got there yet. Laid some hints but no one cares. They are all rapped up in "their" lives and don't care what I'm going thru. For what it's worth, I care you are on this planet. I care that you get up and breath the air. I care!

[Daesin]

Oh honey. Everyone wants to be cuddled especially when they don’t feel well. Sounds like you’ve had one hell of a week girl. I’m sorry that your needs were not met. I can’t change the past.

Sadly, I can’t change the way other people behave. Neither can you. So, Let’s think of this little differently.

In what way can you start meeting these needs yourself? What can you do to help yourself and to make yourself feel better so that you’re not reliant on someone else?

Because unfortunately others are bound to disappoint us sometimes.

Hugs,