Even the People Who Help are Sick of Me

I've posted about this before, but I often visit the suicide chatline or a couple of other places when I need help. tonight, the guy at one chat place responded that he knows I've been there a lot an I should use the resources I've been given. At the moment, I'm not even sure what those are. Now I'm in tears with no one to even listen to me.

[retta87]

Well that wasn't very nice. Sometimes you just need to talk. If it makes you feel better I had my own therapist tell me she didn't know what to do with me.. makes me feel alone when I get responses like that

[Hidden in reply to retta87]

I'm sorry that happened to you too - did you get another counselor or confront the therapist who said this? Today, I feel like I've just had my heart stomped on. I was trying to offer another girl help who then started the sentence "I don't mean to be rude but...." and now this. I often cry which feels unusual and sad and I hate crying. Hopefully my counselor doesn't say anything like this tomorrow - I'm probably moving to another state so I don't know how it's going to work to even continue counseling as it is.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

crying is a great release of endorpins, i cried a lot yesterday and slept better at night

[Hidden]

That's awful I'm sorry he did that to you I ususally do the text lines and it's kind of hit or miss depending on who you get but I've noticed a lot of them act like what you're going through isn't serious. Sometimes you seriously just need someone to talk to. One time in mid conversation the person told me I seemed better and she had to go. Like what? Not fair at all

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Now that is awful too. Wow people can just be jerks at times - I can imagine the stress of being a crisis intervention person though - my life looks like a fairy tale but at same time has so many curves that I really just need that 20-30 minutes with a rational voice

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Sounds like you are talking to strangers. Most communication is through body language and vocal tone. Sorry you ran into that. Sometimes we all need someone to vent to. Right now, I am thinking about all of the mistakes, character flaws , and anything else from the past. I can think of very little that is good about me.

[Hidden]

Do you remember anything from the conversations you have had with the crisis lines?

Sometimes when we are in crisis we are like little birds wanting to be feed, but not really listening. What was discussed with you during prior calls were the resources you could be using.

Try calling again and let the crisis person know, to remember what you are told, you're taking a few notes to keep for the next time you feel anxious. Everyone is a winner.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

This time I wrote some stuff down - I am a former self injurer and went down that road again but I'm not a teenager anymore so I hate talking to people that think I am a teen. It's like my mind goes a million miles an hour and I just start thinking how that would calm me down - and at the same time I'm trying to learn new coping methods- that bird thing is right where I get. I had hoped to get back to feeling like a real person again - not this anxious, my life is blowing up, depressed, walking PTSD sufferer who freaks out about people even touching me. I finally had the greatest sleep last week after seeing my counselor . I'm starting to feel like Ican be the old new me. If that makes any sense.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

When people are in crisis they probably are not thinking rationally. That is the whole idea. Sounds like the call made you worse not better. I would report the conversation to the supervisor of the organization. Also, I think many of these people are interns or volunteers so they might not be so focused. Contact groups like NAMI that are focused on peer support in person and see what happens.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

i know that my sister once signed to be a suicide hotline responder, she had to go through a few orientations before she could answer calls. Besides having a sister, father and cousin who have attempted suicide in the past, she has no professional experience. She decided afterall not to do it. They pretty much are taught to read off a script. This was New York City.

Sorry you didnt get the comfort you were looking for

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Was your sister training to be a volunteer? That is shocking at any rate!

[Hidden]

Thanks Loki! Ugh - so sorry that happened to you. Yeah - it's got to be a hit or miss I won't ever talk to "Charlie" again who said she had people who had more urgent needs. Girl, I'm telling you I'm ready to commit su--de and there are people worse than this? O-K.

Told my counselor and she was like - no way - well at least y'all understand and I'm not alone. Maybe I'll write a blog about this.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Sounds like that person was clueless. More urgent needs??? How rude!

[retta87]

No I haven't gotten another one I should. But in scared to call or look around .. moving to a nrw state will be a great fresh start!! Someone with new eyes and ears and ideas!!! I always want to move and leave where I'm at.. I have a huge flight response built into me

[Hidden in reply to retta87]

🙁 It is really difficult to find someone insurance and who actually cares. wouldn't it be nice to like be in witness protection to get a whole new life! Or yeah at least move!

[gogogirl in reply to retta87]

Why are you moving? Hey, I have been there- and I am much older. I hope that you are moving towards something or someone not away from. The latter usually does not work out so well. At least you know about the flight response.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Brightday,

This forum is here for you.

I am sorry to hear that the place you called as part of your resource kit was so unhelpful. If you have the energy, maybe you can put in a complaint.

If you are moving on to another place, a few things to do spring to mind:-

1. advise your current doctor and counsellor/therapist of your move

2. ask your doctor and counsellor/therapist if they can recommend a colleague in the area

3. request in writing that both doctor and counselor/therapist send their records on to your new people

4. if you like your current counsellor/therapist , ask if it is possible to take sessions online

I truly hope your day gets better

[Hidden in reply to blackcat64013]

Thanks and yes I am hoping I can do telephone or SKYPE with her for a while - part of me is really resisting the idea of moving back home.

[gogogirl in reply to blackcat64013]

This is great advice for everybody I think!

[BELAwesome]

Hi! I can understand the feeling. I seem to be contacting crisis lines a lot and lately feel scared to or guilty, thinking maybe I can just wait it out but it is serious...I was feeling messed up this evening. Talk to me if you need to. Sorry I hadn't been on this app for a while and just seeing your updates now. 💖

[Hidden in reply to BELAwesome]

Thanks so much I did reach out to same line but got someone else who helped. I'm freaking out about not having a job yet and benefits running out and I feel too awful to call friends at this hour because they all have to work in morning

[BELAwesome in reply to Hidden]

Okay, I see. That's understandable. I think it's good you reached out though. You are also being mindful of your friends..

[BELAwesome in reply to Hidden]

I sort of have a financial struggle myself now. Waiting on some paperwork to go through and I don't know what will happen. Have to sort this out before the end of the month or might be broke :/

[BELAwesome in reply to BELAwesome]

It should be okay though cause we'll probably get in the mail soon, etc and my husband has a credit card so at least for a little bit we can hold off...but hoping we'll get this sorted out soon.

[Hidden in reply to BELAwesome]

I when I initially posted l really was crying and upset because it was a guy and he was short and mean about my using the crisis line, but after getting some responses here was like ok will try again. And aww that stinks about being in financial distress. Hope you and husband make ends meet. I really need to start shopping at Aldi (cheap) store and live on cereal, toast, eggs, ramen and chicken maybe some deli meat ... ha I need to go cold turkey! I realize I should cancel internet and just go to library or where free wifi is. Sorry am so talkative- I heard a bang noise in the house and kept thinking someone was gonna come in but I think it was just my dryer as I washed some clothes

[gogogirl]

Sounds like you "met" someone who isn't suited to the job. Also I see the post after yours that basically says that a counselor does not know what to do. Shame on people like that. Please feel free to vent any time. Life can be hard.

[laurenmc-1993]

that's terrible that you got treated that way, I never feel comfortable talking about my feelings on the phone , this forum helps me alot. I would complain if I were you because it might not just be you that gets treated like that x