Recent breakup

[plumdaughter]

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me two days ago because of insecurity/jealousy, control issues, fighting, and a feeling of incompatibility. I am absolutely destroyed. I yelled at him and said horrible things to him, and now all I want is for him to come back. He is truly a great man and we were deeply in love. The break up was emotional, with both of us shedding tears. I know he still loves me. Any advice? I need to fix my issues.

[Against_the_current]

I'm so sorry. I recently was abandoned by someone who swore to be mad for me because of my jelaousy. I know it hurts. Try to take a break from him for a few days and then think about it. Take some rest and focus on yourself for a few days, see If you feel better. If you do, it was toxic. There's a chance of it being toxic even without feeling better. It hurts a lot. But you've got this. Be kind to yourself. Sending love x

[Agora1]

You both need time to heal. If he really loves you, he will comeback in his own time. Right now, it's like having a crack in the

foundation.. once it's fixed, you both will be able to believe that

it will withstand the test of time. My best to you xx

[fauxartist]

Break-ups can feel devastating...but it takes two to make a relationship work. And I found I was gaslighted into thinking the problems were all mine and not my ex.- at the time. Sometimes the painful truth starts revealing itself over time, like peeling an onion as they say. Remember...this isn't all 'you'..., sure, we have issues.... but they knew that getting into the relationship for the most part... so don't beat yourself up... just do the personal work and if I were you I'd get together with some kind of group therapy that deals with 'learning to let go' and 'Grief and Loss'... and maybe someone who is a good fit 'one on one' therapist to help you sort things out.

The one thing I didn't want to do was keep repeating the same things that were not good for me in relationships... and believe me... there was a lot more to learn than I thought...I found out that I was giving my ex- way too much credit and power, and that I was trying to hold onto the 'Honeymoon' phase of the relationship, even though the ship was sinking... but we are not the only ones poking holes in the boat... it's an eye opener

[Bella_lee]

Hi @plumdaughter so sorry to hear about your breakup, I know how hard that can be. Try not to despair and take a few days to calm your emotions.

It's always good to see what our part is in a relationship and taking ownership which is what you have you said you want to do and I encourage you to take steps to find help to fix those issues. It might be beneficial to consider IC for yourself to help you be in a stronger place emotionally.

I know you said some horrible things which I believe you now regret and the truth is we all make mistakes especially when emotions are running high. It might be good for you to maybe send your boyfriend a sincere apology for what you said. You could write him a letter so he has time to process it until you're ready to see each other.

Love is able to conquer where there is understanding and forgiveness and I do hope you both can work out your issues and move forward together. Wish you all the best!