Breakup

[lizannb]

I’ve been having a lot of trouble moving on from my breakup with my boyfriend. We lived together and we’re looking at houses and planned on getting married and then he dumped me when I was having a bad bout of depression. It’s been almost 2 months and I still feel both mentally and physically sick over it and I can’t stop thinking about him. Advice?

[RecreateMyself]

Hi Lizannb, I can relate to what u are going thru... that exact thing happened to me a few years ago. My boyfriend who I lived with broke up with me and told me I needed to move out... I really struggled and was so depressed and anxious. I found that staying really busy with work helped me and if I had any free time then I would cry and be really down. After about 4 or 5 months I seemed to feel a bit less crushed by him but still struggled with being so down. I would say after 6 months I decided that I needed to take care of myself and rebuild a new life... a life of a single women. It was hard and I felt numb most of the time but eventually I started dating and moved on. Focus on being good to yourself. I started losing weight and trying to take better care of myself everyday. It’s hard but u will have some good days coming really soon... take care and be safe.

[lizannb in reply to RecreateMyself]

Those are helpful hints, unfortunately I moved to a different city to be with him and had to move back home, so I lost my job as well. I’m really trying on the self care. I’m glad to hear that it gets easier.

[RecreateMyself in reply to lizannb]

Moving back home is hard but I hope u have family and friends that can support you during this time. There will be a lot of good things coming your way as u learn to move forward. I read a lot of self help books and really tried to keep my mind busy. Take care of yourself!

[lizannb in reply to RecreateMyself]

Thank you!

[2bewellforu]

Take it from the experienced. If he isn't there for you when things are rough, he is not for you. My last relationship was not a very sympathetic person. I lived with him throughout my 5 yr. long depression and he was not there for me emotionally. I left and have gotten better since. True love is not just there when things go well, but at your darkest moments too. You will recover in time, but don't be afraid to talk to a therapist to get you through it. Don't jump right into another relationship to try to feel better. I did it, and it never ended well. I'm just sorry it took me all these years to realize that.

[lizannb in reply to 2bewellforu]

Thank you for the advice!

[Sabio77]

@lizaanb, it is normal for you to feel depressed, especially after planning on getting married and looking at homes. do you have a support system in place, like talking to family, friends? also talk to your dr, they can help you too.

[lizannb in reply to Sabio77]

I am lucky enough to have a wonderful support system, it’s just hard to battle a bad bout of depression and the major life changes at the same time. I’m just trying to take it one day at a time

[Sabio77 in reply to lizannb]

glad you have a good support team. Yes, it is hard. I totally relate to depression and going thru life changes. I also have panic attacks that get ugly and wants to happen whenever it pleases so that can be hard to hide when out in public at store etc. try doing a very simple method, "self-talk". speaking positive words to yourself when it happens.

[lizannb in reply to Sabio77]

I will, thank you

[Hidden]

Hey how have you been?

[LostinPA26]

I am going through something similar. A breakup after 2 1/2 years together. We were engaged as well. Now it’s like I just can’t move past it, or maybe can’t accept the fact that I have to move forward on my own. It has consumed me. I can’t seem to find my happiness in anything right now. I don’t eat much, can’t sleep, rely on sleeping pills and alcohol to even get a few hours a night. I don’t know how to move forward now.