Anxiety and Depression Support
21,714 members19,547 posts

Recent breakup causing major anxiety

I recently broke up with my bf of almost 8 years. Although i still love him i have realized how bad he is for me. He constantly criticizes me and my son (high functioning autistic) I am trying to let go but have socially isolated myself so much that i now have nobody i can really talk to. My anxiety and depression are alot worse right now and this causes extreme insomnia. I am currently taking 300mg meclobemide x 2 each day but it doesnt seem very helpful, especially right now. I am trying meditation but my heart races so bad the whole time that i get frustrated and quit. I dont expect any solutions. I just needed to vent because like i said i have nobody. Thanks for listening.

12 Replies
oldestnewest

Hey there, i think youve made a very big step in the right direction, and you just have to remind yourself that. you are your own person with a life that should be filled with happiness and if someone does not contribute to that happiness they are contributing to negativity. Your stronger than anyone i know. I know people who have been abused horribly wether it be verbal or physical left and right by there bf or gf of years and they dont have the strength you have to break it off. Ive been where you are and ive gotten to the worst of it even almost lost my life in a depression. If only i had realized i had everything i needed to be happy right in front of me, and its the fact that you can make new memories and surround yourself by new people or reconnecting with old friends or surrounding yourself with loving family, and about the meditation, try it laying down in bed or in your favourite chair and just focus on breathing as if you were going to sleep, let your mind wander but dont get distracted by your thoughts let them come and go and i promise youll come to love it more than anything. You deserve the very best and i know youll get over this and just remember youve already been through the hardest part, youve got smooth sailing up ahead i know it. Good karma to you and i wish you the best!

3 likes
Reply

Thanks Manny! That is really nice and I am going to give the laying down thing a go right now.

1 like
Reply

Its worked great for me and ive been doing it for 2 years now, preety much let your body do its job as if you were going to sleep and you will find all muscle tension and stress will just disappear. I know you will find peace in it :)

Reply

I know what it's like to still care for someone you know is bad for you. I've been through it more than once. When it comes to being attached to someone that is where I am weakest. I think it's because I never had a lot of self confidence and so I would hold onto a freind or a boyfriend for dear life even when deep down I knew it was only tearing me apart. There is only one surefire way I have found to help get over this. And that was to stop trying so hard for all the people in my life who werent worth it. You know the friends who always seem to take so much effort just to still keep in touch. You have to find someone you feel totally comfortable around and the only way to find someone like that is to let go of insecurities and realise that you could be so much more yourself than you are right now. Because when you hold onto somone so much you literally lose a little of yourself.

As for the medicine, the bes medicine I have ever taken for anxiety, depression, panic atacks, had been lorazepam. Sometimes when you're in the pits of depression and anxiety all you need is something to calm you enough so that you can get your head on straight and talk some sense into yourself for a while. Then when the effects of the drug wear off its easier for me to look at my reasoning while not panicking and ease into the fact that I probably don't need to feel this bad. Thats what has worked for me. I dont know if it will work for you.

Soemtimes the person who can give the best advice is yourself because you know the answers already deep down. It just helps to talk to someone who can confirm these things.

Reply

Hi well done for realising this and getting out of such an unhealthy relationship. I can't really add much to Mannyvt23 great reply except to say it sounds like you dropped your friends when you were with your bf. This could be why you are so isolated now. It's always a good idea even when in a good relationship to keep your friends and make time for them.

I am sure you will meet someone in the future who deserves you. x

2 likes
Reply

Good that you got rid of him ! Just breathe and try to relax you can always talk to those of us on here

1 like
Reply

Thanks guys. And the meditation took some time but eventually i managed to get some sleep. Thanks again Manny.

1 like
Reply

What a positive step you took. And people are here on this site as well!

1 like
Reply

Hi! You are so brave! you have already done miles better than I did in a similar situation....see I wasn't brave enough to call it off so I pushed and pushed him until he did it...because then I could play the victim and feel sorry for myself and feed that depression all the burning coal it needed. I wish I had been strong enough to cut the ties like you have. To me, that is incredible! Even if it may feel really hard right now and every day and every minute is taken up by this fresh break-up, you have given yourself the gift of freedom. You and your son have each-other and you have done this amazing thing for both of you. For now, concentrate on you and your son and what you two need and want. Focus on healing and finding yourself again after a destructive relationship, you may have left yourself behind. Allow yourself to catch up and re-familiarise with who you are, what you like, what you missed about yourself, how much you sacrificed for that man and how it changed you. Meditation is great, it really is. I find a guided meditation works better as someone is talking me through it and I find that easier to focus and relax. I love "TheHonestGuys" on youtube, they have loads of different guides and I just love the deep voice he has. I also like to meditate to old celtic/fantasy music as it somehow makes me feel the connection to some ancient time and gives me the feeling of stability of the world, the thousands of years of history we all have, nations that have come and gone, Gods that have come and gone whilst humans prevail, survive, change and adapt.... Just like the world has seen battles and love, birth and death, good and evil, and yet stands strong, so will you! this break-up and these feelings are passing and you will come out the other end, stronger and wiser and better than before. Take care and stay strong Xx

Reply

Thank you DragonTears. I wish i could say its all been wonderful but unfortunately i did wind up struggling. I am making some more progress after intensive therapy though so eventually i will win this battle. I think😜

Reply

I hope you find a way to be happy someday.

Chat anytime

Take care.

Reply

I just recently got dumped by someone with high functioning autism Saturday. I to have isolated myself. I wish I knew what to say I'm lost, heartbroken. It's nice to here I'm not alone.

Reply

You may also like...