I'm ashamed and depressed.

[eeyore_be_happyplz]

I failed out of Medical school and have a lot of debt. I don't know how to go on. I enjoy tech but I do not enjoy having a boss that yells at me. I will have to get a job again in the tech. I just want a job where I am not going to be verbally abused and is not a high stress environment. I am not strong enough to deal with the yelling right now but I can't take a break. I feel like commiting sucide but I don't how my mother would resolve this.

I have never had a sexual partner. I was afraid to. I was scared of my inexpereince.

I wanted to save my family. Bring them out of poverty but I have failed at that. I have a degree to fall on and I can at least accomplish the family part. I have time. I just don't know any more. I realize that my problem is small to some but I just have to see the bright side.

[tofler]

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so low at the moment. Do you have anyone who you can talk to about how you're feeling (e.g. helpline numbers, doctor, therapist, friends, family)? Nobody deserves to be yelled at for doing their job and I hope you manage to get a job where you're supported and are treated with respect.

[Dolphin14]

Your issues are just as important as anyone else's. Don't feel like you shouldn't talk about them.

Good for you for giving medical school a shot. That's huge. I can't imagine the stress involved in that.

Not all bosses yell at their employees. You had a bad experience and hopefully that won't happen again.

Are you safe right now? Do you need to call someone for help?

🐬

[eeyore_be_happyplz in reply to Dolphin14]

I am safe. I will get to a therapist after I get a job

[MCAJ]

This shall pass, feelings come and go, try to think of all the positives in your life, a friend, a pet, music, dance, food? Something will get you through it, and a new job will come along. Stay strong!

[Existing]

Oh I read that word ashamed in your post and had to respond. Its not a small thing that happened to you, and I recently went through something where I failed in a very irresponsible way, and I felt ashamed. That is such a damaging emotion, because its not guilt, like related to your behavior that failed, shame is when we feel defined by that shame, like I AM a failure as a person. When you feel shame, you feel not worthy of redemption, and you continue to deprive yourself of the compassion you so desperately need and deserve.

You took on a huge task with medical school, which I can only imagine the disappointment. You certainly don't need insults from your boss in your vulnerable state. Given that this just happened, I would really attempt to be compassionate to yourself for your loss and disappointment. If you were admitted to medical school, then you have great abilities and strengths. It will take time to heal, but in time you simply need to decide where to aim your assets. You are meant for great things elsewhere, and your family is proud of you and your gracious efforts to help them. don't forget that.

[fauxartist]

I think if I were you I would just take inventory of what is doable and what isn't. Maybe look into the temporary placement jobs where you're working, but not committed too on a long term basis,and if you like the job you may possibly be hired on a full time basis. Take some time to re-group and find a realistic goal for work, and don't look back right now. Eventually you can take the time to assess the medical school stuff, but there are lots of jobs for people with degrees, use that to your advantage.